Elias Rains
@themysterybox.bsky.social
grouchy reader and viewer, once and future writer (like the t. h. white book), full-time dramatic bitch
BOS area
https://muckrack.com/elias-rains-johnson?
https://vimeo.com/eliasthemysterybox
BOS area
https://muckrack.com/elias-rains-johnson?
https://vimeo.com/eliasthemysterybox
Pinned
sometimes you have to live through Henry Cavill to get to David Corenswet
If you're in New York between now and end of June, you have to go see Ragtime at Lincoln Center. OR ELSE.
December 24, 2025 at 10:04 PM
If you're in New York between now and end of June, you have to go see Ragtime at Lincoln Center. OR ELSE.
I appreciate that this essay embraces the (accurate!!) reading of the film that gives Mary the most agency in the film. She tells George and the audience what she wants within, what, the first ten minutes, and stays on that path to the very end.
This is an almost shockingly wise essay. I'm glad I've finally read it.
There Is No Mary Problem in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’
George’s vision of his wife without him is essential to the film, but critics continue to miss its true—and profound—meaning.
open.substack.com
December 24, 2025 at 6:42 PM
I appreciate that this essay embraces the (accurate!!) reading of the film that gives Mary the most agency in the film. She tells George and the audience what she wants within, what, the first ten minutes, and stays on that path to the very end.
the SNW casting of the original series characters literally feels like they're playing a terrible game of darts. they did fine with Spock and Uhura (I GUESS) but what the fuck is this Bones casting?! Karl Urban's willing to do TV, they should've just had him come back.
December 23, 2025 at 8:30 PM
the SNW casting of the original series characters literally feels like they're playing a terrible game of darts. they did fine with Spock and Uhura (I GUESS) but what the fuck is this Bones casting?! Karl Urban's willing to do TV, they should've just had him come back.
Mary I was seven years older than Catherine Howard, her fourth step-mom. Because men have always sucked!
December 20, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Mary I was seven years older than Catherine Howard, her fourth step-mom. Because men have always sucked!
My parlor trick is being able to nail the opening of Forget About the Boy with a Merman-esque belt with no lead in music.
December 12, 2025 at 2:11 AM
My parlor trick is being able to nail the opening of Forget About the Boy with a Merman-esque belt with no lead in music.
The CT2 being a student shuttle at Ruggles and immediately emptying after one stop is pretty funny. (I mean I don't mind, since I ride on to Fenway.)
December 11, 2025 at 12:25 PM
The CT2 being a student shuttle at Ruggles and immediately emptying after one stop is pretty funny. (I mean I don't mind, since I ride on to Fenway.)
Reposted by Elias Rains
My love for em dashes is as old as the hills and as mighty as my inability to make a transition between thoughts literally any other way and I will be damned if I let the clankers take that from me
December 10, 2025 at 3:00 AM
My love for em dashes is as old as the hills and as mighty as my inability to make a transition between thoughts literally any other way and I will be damned if I let the clankers take that from me
I miss when conservative kids actively JUST went to Christian colleges; they're bubbles, sure, but they have a lot of fin aid to toss around, and it keeps those little trolls away from the rest of us for four years or so. (And some of those colleges DO change minds and lives for the better.)
December 1, 2025 at 7:36 PM
I miss when conservative kids actively JUST went to Christian colleges; they're bubbles, sure, but they have a lot of fin aid to toss around, and it keeps those little trolls away from the rest of us for four years or so. (And some of those colleges DO change minds and lives for the better.)
The whole story about baiting a trans academic at a SOUTHERN state school... as a trans academic/PhD student myself, I'm not going to be taking an opportunity west of Metro New York, for the time being. I went to undergrad just outside of ATL, and I'm glad I was deep in the closet at the time.
December 1, 2025 at 7:08 PM
The whole story about baiting a trans academic at a SOUTHERN state school... as a trans academic/PhD student myself, I'm not going to be taking an opportunity west of Metro New York, for the time being. I went to undergrad just outside of ATL, and I'm glad I was deep in the closet at the time.
My room in Dorchester/Savin Hill is coming up for rent starting 1/1! Super chill place, just one other housemate. www.reddit.com/r/bostonhous...
From the bostonhousing community on Reddit
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November 30, 2025 at 7:48 PM
My room in Dorchester/Savin Hill is coming up for rent starting 1/1! Super chill place, just one other housemate. www.reddit.com/r/bostonhous...
Reposted by Elias Rains
TDOR is a day I've had complicated feelings on for many years, and this year it feels especially hollow. To have people only celebrate our names on the day we remember the dead. There has been little to silence of any of our triumphs and joys, and many feel all too eager to lay flags in memorial.
November 20, 2025 at 2:05 PM
TDOR is a day I've had complicated feelings on for many years, and this year it feels especially hollow. To have people only celebrate our names on the day we remember the dead. There has been little to silence of any of our triumphs and joys, and many feel all too eager to lay flags in memorial.
The Huntington has done a version of Fun Home which feels brand new and just as relevant in 2025. I'm verklempt.
November 20, 2025 at 2:09 AM
The Huntington has done a version of Fun Home which feels brand new and just as relevant in 2025. I'm verklempt.
wow hannity's never been so pickled as he was at the patriot awards lol
November 13, 2025 at 9:47 PM
wow hannity's never been so pickled as he was at the patriot awards lol
WORST GROUP CHAT EVER.
Jeffrey Epstein advised Steve Bannon that the lawyers representing Brett Kavanaugh in his confirmation hearing should accuse Christine Blasey Ford of being on medications that cause false memories or memory loss.
November 12, 2025 at 11:00 PM
WORST GROUP CHAT EVER.
the insistence the numpties i work with have in misgendering me every day (despite the fact that they've only ever known me as a man) is just. charming. i especially love when they say 'she' and then default to 'they' (WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN A PRONOUN I USE WITH THEM.)
November 12, 2025 at 5:58 PM
the insistence the numpties i work with have in misgendering me every day (despite the fact that they've only ever known me as a man) is just. charming. i especially love when they say 'she' and then default to 'they' (WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN A PRONOUN I USE WITH THEM.)
Shook there's no BELLS OF SAINT MARY'S or GOING MY WAY. Also, the oldest film on here is from 1946 -- it's not an 'old film list' lol.
Pope Leo has shared his four favorite movies of all time, as the Vatican prepares to host dozens of actors and directors in a “World of Cinema” gathering on Saturday at his official residence. See which films made the pope's list. nyti.ms/4p3exK9
Pope Leo Shares His Favorite Movies Ahead of Vatican Event
The list leans heavily on uplifting classics.
nyti.ms
November 11, 2025 at 11:52 PM
Shook there's no BELLS OF SAINT MARY'S or GOING MY WAY. Also, the oldest film on here is from 1946 -- it's not an 'old film list' lol.
we're just literally at the point when no one can do anything right. That's fucking chill. (guess who got told just now my birth control appointment was scheduled for one day past the window -- BY THE CLINIC THEMSELVES). thank God I don't want to have sex ever again, I GUESS.
November 11, 2025 at 2:54 PM
we're just literally at the point when no one can do anything right. That's fucking chill. (guess who got told just now my birth control appointment was scheduled for one day past the window -- BY THE CLINIC THEMSELVES). thank God I don't want to have sex ever again, I GUESS.
I wish I'd written this:
The ‘Death by Lightning’ Dudes, Ranked from ‘That Guy’ to ‘My Man!’
A scientific breakdown of what the 'Death by Lightning' cast brings to James Garfield's unconventional picnic table (so to speak).
www.indiewire.com
November 10, 2025 at 9:20 PM
I wish I'd written this:
God they COOKED with Back to the Future. As good as it always was.
November 5, 2025 at 2:16 AM
God they COOKED with Back to the Future. As good as it always was.
the whole 'this is the way things are' mental rut the entire world's gotten itself into has GOT to stop. you all might be brain dead, but i've still got neurons firing.
November 3, 2025 at 6:04 PM
the whole 'this is the way things are' mental rut the entire world's gotten itself into has GOT to stop. you all might be brain dead, but i've still got neurons firing.
well. hate this. fucking hate this. great. loathe this. 2025 just continues to fucking sink into like a new king of hell
November 2, 2025 at 4:18 AM
well. hate this. fucking hate this. great. loathe this. 2025 just continues to fucking sink into like a new king of hell
i'm not saying the curse of the bambino descended upon me and any team i willingly root for
BUT MY TRACK RECORD IS PRETTY FUCKING BAD YOU ALL
BUT MY TRACK RECORD IS PRETTY FUCKING BAD YOU ALL
November 2, 2025 at 4:09 AM
i'm not saying the curse of the bambino descended upon me and any team i willingly root for
BUT MY TRACK RECORD IS PRETTY FUCKING BAD YOU ALL
BUT MY TRACK RECORD IS PRETTY FUCKING BAD YOU ALL
why are the innings rhyming lol. this is psychotic i hate this BUT ALSO I LOVE BASEBALLLLLL
November 2, 2025 at 3:51 AM
why are the innings rhyming lol. this is psychotic i hate this BUT ALSO I LOVE BASEBALLLLLL