Not that I think it’s good to think of your life as following a narrative (it’s not, that’s both bullshit and not good for your brain), but wth man

Because celebrities do those commercials, y’see.

Higher than if you hadn’t recently dated a celebrity.

I needed a piece of scrap paper just to figure out what you were talking about.

Like, in a street fight. Leatherface vs Mark McKinney’s character from Brain Candy. Buffalo Bill vs Jack Donaghy.