Patrick Hipp
@thehipp.bsky.social
Midlife crisis actor, reverend doctor, charming barman, writer, musician. Not about to quit my night job. (he/him/mom)
Term limits, term limits, term limits. Why is being in Congress a career? Also, fuck off into the core of the sun: you get your full salary every year, plus medical and dental, for the rest of your life? On our dime? To borrow a phrase, "How're we gonna pay for that?"
November 21, 2025 at 8:58 AM
Term limits, term limits, term limits. Why is being in Congress a career? Also, fuck off into the core of the sun: you get your full salary every year, plus medical and dental, for the rest of your life? On our dime? To borrow a phrase, "How're we gonna pay for that?"
Right now, about 150 people are slowly,.masklessly filing past my great aunt at her husband's visitation, breathing hot SEPTA air on her at the start of flu season. Just goes to show you: God has a plan, the Church does not.
November 19, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Right now, about 150 people are slowly,.masklessly filing past my great aunt at her husband's visitation, breathing hot SEPTA air on her at the start of flu season. Just goes to show you: God has a plan, the Church does not.
Hell yeah, soup season! Nothing keeps me warmer through the winter than unending loose poops
November 18, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Hell yeah, soup season! Nothing keeps me warmer through the winter than unending loose poops
"What if kink-shaming is my kink?" –Guillermo
November 15, 2025 at 4:37 AM
"What if kink-shaming is my kink?" –Guillermo
*Anthony Kiedis dies*
Me, thinking about his art collection: 🎶 WHAT YOU GOT YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO THE MOMA 🎶
Me, thinking about his art collection: 🎶 WHAT YOU GOT YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO THE MOMA 🎶
November 15, 2025 at 3:57 AM
*Anthony Kiedis dies*
Me, thinking about his art collection: 🎶 WHAT YOU GOT YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO THE MOMA 🎶
Me, thinking about his art collection: 🎶 WHAT YOU GOT YOU GOTTA GIVE IT TO THE MOMA 🎶
One my first attempt to buy Born To Run on vinyl, I walked out of the house brainlessly wearing a Wawa hoodie, Ocean City hat, and a Quick Stop pin I took off on the walk. Today, I'm still wearing yesterday's Stony Pony tee, but inside-out, so I let it slide.
November 12, 2025 at 10:52 PM
One my first attempt to buy Born To Run on vinyl, I walked out of the house brainlessly wearing a Wawa hoodie, Ocean City hat, and a Quick Stop pin I took off on the walk. Today, I'm still wearing yesterday's Stony Pony tee, but inside-out, so I let it slide.
Wow. I've never gotten an answer to wondering how this or that person sleeps at night but damn
November 12, 2025 at 8:11 AM
Wow. I've never gotten an answer to wondering how this or that person sleeps at night but damn
I've only been in New York for 18 years, so this is new to me: how do I, as a New Yorker, live my life not hating the man I elected mayor? I've never not hated the man I was forced to elect, and now that I got to choose a guy in the primaries and then vote for in the general, I'm genuinely confused.
November 12, 2025 at 8:02 AM
I've only been in New York for 18 years, so this is new to me: how do I, as a New Yorker, live my life not hating the man I elected mayor? I've never not hated the man I was forced to elect, and now that I got to choose a guy in the primaries and then vote for in the general, I'm genuinely confused.
Regular: Gotta go to CVS. Need contact solution.
Me: I've got a contact solution.
Regular: Really?
Me: Yeah—glasses.
Me: I've got a contact solution.
Regular: Really?
Me: Yeah—glasses.
November 10, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Regular: Gotta go to CVS. Need contact solution.
Me: I've got a contact solution.
Regular: Really?
Me: Yeah—glasses.
Me: I've got a contact solution.
Regular: Really?
Me: Yeah—glasses.
Glad I'm safely sequestered from the fallout of the next tech bubble but also this one is going to crater everything for everyone so, fucking wheeeeee?
November 6, 2025 at 8:08 AM
Glad I'm safely sequestered from the fallout of the next tech bubble but also this one is going to crater everything for everyone so, fucking wheeeeee?
I'm supposed to believe Elon Musk is a genius but he can't figure out a NYC voter ballot that millions of people understand?
November 6, 2025 at 6:14 AM
I'm supposed to believe Elon Musk is a genius but he can't figure out a NYC voter ballot that millions of people understand?
Forget ranked-choice voting. I want ranked-choice funding. Let's see the DOD rack up almost a billion in spending when the people decide the nation's priorities. Fun fact: education and healthcare are DEFENSE EXPENDITURES to anyone who isn't criminally undereducated
priorities.fun
November 4, 2025 at 7:33 AM
Forget ranked-choice voting. I want ranked-choice funding. Let's see the DOD rack up almost a billion in spending when the people decide the nation's priorities. Fun fact: education and healthcare are DEFENSE EXPENDITURES to anyone who isn't criminally undereducated
New Yorkers were first in hating Trump, and first in hating Cuomo. Trust New Yorkers: we're Americans, but six months in the future.
November 4, 2025 at 7:04 AM
New Yorkers were first in hating Trump, and first in hating Cuomo. Trust New Yorkers: we're Americans, but six months in the future.
An NYPD cop popped his door and stepped to me because I dared to ask if we're not funding them enough to replace the broken headlights they will so readily ticket New Yorkers for.
November 3, 2025 at 8:55 AM
An NYPD cop popped his door and stepped to me because I dared to ask if we're not funding them enough to replace the broken headlights they will so readily ticket New Yorkers for.
Someone Every DST: Oh hey it's 1am!
Me: I did last call a half hour ago. We're closed.
Customer: But it's 1 again!
Me: Is it still 30 minutes after I said I'm fucking closing? Get the fuck out.
Me: I did last call a half hour ago. We're closed.
Customer: But it's 1 again!
Me: Is it still 30 minutes after I said I'm fucking closing? Get the fuck out.
November 2, 2025 at 7:32 AM
Someone Every DST: Oh hey it's 1am!
Me: I did last call a half hour ago. We're closed.
Customer: But it's 1 again!
Me: Is it still 30 minutes after I said I'm fucking closing? Get the fuck out.
Me: I did last call a half hour ago. We're closed.
Customer: But it's 1 again!
Me: Is it still 30 minutes after I said I'm fucking closing? Get the fuck out.
World Series or not GOD DAMN the Dodgers pay people a lot of money to hit fucking singles.
November 2, 2025 at 6:21 AM
World Series or not GOD DAMN the Dodgers pay people a lot of money to hit fucking singles.
I'm far too far from famous to have had this many people dress as me for Halloween?
November 1, 2025 at 5:01 AM
I'm far too far from famous to have had this many people dress as me for Halloween?
Oh wow this is the 10th straight Halloween that Park Slope kids have all dressed up as pieces of shit who've never navigated a fucking sidewalk
October 31, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Oh wow this is the 10th straight Halloween that Park Slope kids have all dressed up as pieces of shit who've never navigated a fucking sidewalk
Zohran Mommydaddy how hard is that to pronounce
October 30, 2025 at 5:51 AM
Zohran Mommydaddy how hard is that to pronounce
Me, reading up on NYC ballot measures: Hmmm. Looks like I'm at yes, no, no, no, yes, yes?
Curtis Sliwa: VOTE NO TO YES.
Me: Right, yes across the board it is.
Curtis Sliwa: VOTE NO TO YES.
Me: Right, yes across the board it is.
October 24, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Me, reading up on NYC ballot measures: Hmmm. Looks like I'm at yes, no, no, no, yes, yes?
Curtis Sliwa: VOTE NO TO YES.
Me: Right, yes across the board it is.
Curtis Sliwa: VOTE NO TO YES.
Me: Right, yes across the board it is.
Every British TV show opens with some haunting, jangling string instrument over a drum machine with slowly dying batteries and then the title comes up and it's something like, "Get On With It, Fartsworth!"
October 20, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Every British TV show opens with some haunting, jangling string instrument over a drum machine with slowly dying batteries and then the title comes up and it's something like, "Get On With It, Fartsworth!"
Jared showing his father-in-law his plans for Gaza
October 17, 2025 at 7:28 AM
Jared showing his father-in-law his plans for Gaza