aughhhh the struggle with wanting to feel included is hard

I’m begging people to stop using Unemployed and NEET as insults for people they no like

or don’t, it exposes people as being posers lmao

Side tangent, but it’s people who go about life treating Psychosis as the Uncontrollable Asshole Disease that keeps the symptoms stigmatized. Do fucking better.

Saw a post on tumblr that pissed me off

As someone with schizoaffective disorder, experiencing a psychotic episode would not absolve me or anyone else of abusive behavior. People should not use their mental health conditions as a free pass to treat others poorly

I often catch myself thinking that I must be some type of fuck-up or a bad person when bad things happen around or to me — or when I catch myself making mistakes that hurt myself and others.

It’s stressful, you know. I feel like I’m playing by rules I don’t or can’t understand

my life has been remarkably drama-free since a few people exited my life, I do wonder why that could possibly be 🙄

Ughhh I’ve not been TRYING to isolate myself recently — but I realize I have been 😞 depressed and tired and blegh

Its not even like sadness or despair or anything — just depression in the purest sense- Dampened and disinterested and down

Aufhhhhjjgh the Seasonal Darkening has begun to fog up my sense of self yet again !!

Of course I’m doing better than last year, but I’m not looking forward to the Ick regardless

Aughhh I get very Self Conscious about my Tism sometimes when my efforts to be friendly go Way Sideways

I can’t usually read between the lines so I don’t really WRITE between the lines either - so to speak aufgggg

I need things to stop happening for ONE second. ONE second.

Had a cousin I hadn’t seen in a while, kill himself this week. UGHHHH

For some people online their personal comfort is faaaaar more important than their moral compass — and if they are ever uncomfortable, they just redefine where North is supposed to be at any given moment.

Oh I’m uncomfortable? There must be a moral wrong being done here… stfu

I realize I’m going to have to go through a lot of work to unlearn a lot of bad shit I got used to doing around abusive ex friend — that it wasn’t normal how much I was put down and shut up and too scared to talk and express myself. That I’m not as clueless as I felt when I was around him.

I’m gonna be so honest in how I feel like-People will say listen to victims and such and they may genuinely believe that — but I don’t think they really internalize what it would be like to be around abuse. To have to listen to a victim. To have their social circle disrupted by abuse.

Ughhh I feel so ick. I don’t like being in this ugly painful transition period of learning who would actually stand up for me — and who treats being there for their friends as inconvenient and wrong. :(

Ughhh I’m definitely depressed, life is hard right now

Mmh. I’m still not sure how to feel about everything. I feel free to be myself without an absolutely miserable person leeching off me — but also they’re an absolutely miserable person in some of the same spaces at me. Upsetting to think how someone can never change and always blame it on others