Breaking! #antifa has broken into the white house and shit in the president's pants! More details as they emerge.

Woe unto a man that would stand between me and a cheese sandwich.

I'm clumsy af I'd be a dogshit ninja.

I know more about hot dogs than you do.

The Green Acres theme was wild cuz it was a well thought out point/counterpoint argument set to music til dude was like "ahem, gender roles" and she's like "yes of course, how silly of me, off to the country we go".

My heart is broken for this sweet Calico girl. Softy crossed the rainbow bridge quietly in my daughters arms this afternoon. She was a champion mouser, an all time snuggler, and my long time sidekick. Undefeated at Who's Got Yer Belly. Ima miss her so much. So long bebe. 😢

Just a simple man, out here looking for an unlicensed taxidermist who isn't afraid to play fast and loose with the rules.

This, and every Thanksgiving. Love you all, bluesky.
youtu.be/BGFtV6-ALoQ?...

Goddamn, it's flat fuck Friday on bluesky. Hell yeah.

Daily reminder that private prisons fly directly in the face of our inalienable right to liberty enshrined in the Declaration of Independence and should be abolished.

"We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing."

-Bukowski

Ted Cruz eats puppies and showers with his dad.

This is Marcelline the Kitty Queen aka Lady Elmyra Stinkypaws and she and I wanna remind you to take a deep breath and relax today.

I'm just a simple man, out here trying to be in somebody's starter pack.

I'd bet my red beard and tattoos that Drumpf and Elno have a VERY public breakup before the new year and I am here for it.

I need to START ending my presentations this way. I also need to start giving presentations.

I'm about to commit a murder.

This place has an INCREDIBLE lack of nazis! Sweet!!!