Double it and give it to the next person, your honor
January 9, 2026 at 10:44 PM
Double it and give it to the next person, your honor
*wipes blade of the poop knife in the crook of my arm like a samurai would his katana*
Arigato, future sepsis victim san
Arigato, future sepsis victim san
January 8, 2026 at 8:31 PM
*wipes blade of the poop knife in the crook of my arm like a samurai would his katana*
Arigato, future sepsis victim san
Arigato, future sepsis victim san
How I be walking down the dark hallway with my phone flashlight
January 5, 2026 at 12:48 AM
How I be walking down the dark hallway with my phone flashlight
Addiction means you can't stop playing. So I'm not addicted, I can stop playing anytime the Internet goes out.
January 3, 2026 at 10:10 PM
Addiction means you can't stop playing. So I'm not addicted, I can stop playing anytime the Internet goes out.
*foams at the mouth and rants incoherently*
*taps "Post" button*
*taps "Post" button*
January 3, 2026 at 12:20 AM
*foams at the mouth and rants incoherently*
*taps "Post" button*
*taps "Post" button*
One thing about me is, Imma read the room. I'm also illiterate. And bad at math. And why's everyone so gloomy? One thing about me is I'm not gloomy. And I can't count. Isn't that unique and interesting? Oh everyone is actually super pissed? Weird. I bet my math helped. Who's being annoying? Hang him
January 2, 2026 at 11:14 PM
One thing about me is, Imma read the room. I'm also illiterate. And bad at math. And why's everyone so gloomy? One thing about me is I'm not gloomy. And I can't count. Isn't that unique and interesting? Oh everyone is actually super pissed? Weird. I bet my math helped. Who's being annoying? Hang him
*reloads the clip of my pistol with a Pez dispenser*
Revenge. Sweet revenge.
*blasts a hole through Willy Wonka's chest cavity*
Revenge. Sweet revenge.
*blasts a hole through Willy Wonka's chest cavity*
January 2, 2026 at 11:08 PM
*reloads the clip of my pistol with a Pez dispenser*
Revenge. Sweet revenge.
*blasts a hole through Willy Wonka's chest cavity*
Revenge. Sweet revenge.
*blasts a hole through Willy Wonka's chest cavity*
Holy shit, Santa Paws is part of the ABCU (Air Bud Cinematic Universe)
January 1, 2026 at 3:13 PM
Holy shit, Santa Paws is part of the ABCU (Air Bud Cinematic Universe)
Happy different year
January 1, 2026 at 1:36 PM
Happy different year
Tis I, Montana James, renowned arachniologist. I have travelled to ancient Mesothelioma to translate this coochie-form writing and find the Cradle of Civilization, which belongs in a mausoleum
December 31, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Tis I, Montana James, renowned arachniologist. I have travelled to ancient Mesothelioma to translate this coochie-form writing and find the Cradle of Civilization, which belongs in a mausoleum
New Year's Morn
December 31, 2025 at 2:54 PM
New Year's Morn
A prison is just an above-ground dungeon.
December 31, 2025 at 2:47 PM
A prison is just an above-ground dungeon.
Jokes on you, I wanted a pet Mimic and one less arm. I'm the winner with slight blood loss, and you're the jealous gold-hungry sow hogging all the heath potions. No I don't want any, it's the principle.
December 29, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Jokes on you, I wanted a pet Mimic and one less arm. I'm the winner with slight blood loss, and you're the jealous gold-hungry sow hogging all the heath potions. No I don't want any, it's the principle.
*beats you with a sock full of porky pines*
Who's not a druid, now, bitch!?
Who's not a druid, now, bitch!?
December 29, 2025 at 10:20 PM
*beats you with a sock full of porky pines*
Who's not a druid, now, bitch!?
Who's not a druid, now, bitch!?
*becomes telepathic*
*DDoS's your brain with yuri*
*DDoS's your brain with yuri*
December 27, 2025 at 8:56 PM
*becomes telepathic*
*DDoS's your brain with yuri*
*DDoS's your brain with yuri*
"kinda stupid how anothropomorphic animals always gots their own species portmanteau'd in them."
"Whatchu mean?"
"Think about it. Ratthew, Bearold, Catrina, Snakob, Parrakeith, etc"
"Huh, you know, I never thought about that, Manny."
"Whatchu mean?"
"Think about it. Ratthew, Bearold, Catrina, Snakob, Parrakeith, etc"
"Huh, you know, I never thought about that, Manny."
December 27, 2025 at 4:44 PM
"kinda stupid how anothropomorphic animals always gots their own species portmanteau'd in them."
"Whatchu mean?"
"Think about it. Ratthew, Bearold, Catrina, Snakob, Parrakeith, etc"
"Huh, you know, I never thought about that, Manny."
"Whatchu mean?"
"Think about it. Ratthew, Bearold, Catrina, Snakob, Parrakeith, etc"
"Huh, you know, I never thought about that, Manny."
When the horizon ain't got blue bumps on it
patrick star from spongebob squarepants is standing in a grassy field asking what kind of place is this
ALT: patrick star from spongebob squarepants is standing in a grassy field asking what kind of place is this
media.tenor.com
December 27, 2025 at 4:30 PM
When the horizon ain't got blue bumps on it
Playing with my words instead of eating them, like a child
December 25, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Playing with my words instead of eating them, like a child
Hoisting myself on my own petard to skip half the level, two cutscenes, and reach the secret platform
December 23, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Hoisting myself on my own petard to skip half the level, two cutscenes, and reach the secret platform
Mr presideent, da sleepyhead has hit the second snooze button
December 23, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Mr presideent, da sleepyhead has hit the second snooze button
Morning star, pernach, flail, maul
Dream blunt rotation
Dream blunt rotation
December 22, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Morning star, pernach, flail, maul
Dream blunt rotation
Dream blunt rotation
Honestly we should celebrate the Grinch more than Santa. Dude snuck into every house in town, cleaned them out of seasonal avarice, never got caught, and did it all in one night. Not only did he do what Santa needs magic to do, but unlike Santa, he's real.
Absolute legend.
Absolute legend.
December 22, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Honestly we should celebrate the Grinch more than Santa. Dude snuck into every house in town, cleaned them out of seasonal avarice, never got caught, and did it all in one night. Not only did he do what Santa needs magic to do, but unlike Santa, he's real.
Absolute legend.
Absolute legend.
Reposted
cowboy who stubbed his toe:
December 21, 2025 at 12:07 AM
cowboy who stubbed his toe:
Which is heavier, a pound of feather or a pound of heart?
Anubis, poking the Scales of Justice: No way this thing is right. I'm calling Ammit anyway.
Anubis, poking the Scales of Justice: No way this thing is right. I'm calling Ammit anyway.
December 17, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Which is heavier, a pound of feather or a pound of heart?
Anubis, poking the Scales of Justice: No way this thing is right. I'm calling Ammit anyway.
Anubis, poking the Scales of Justice: No way this thing is right. I'm calling Ammit anyway.