Tyler Jarvis
@thailure.bsky.social
PhD candidate at UCLA. Lecturer of Classical Hebrew at AJU. Writing about Jewish Diaspora in the Achaemenid Period. Not a loser but I played one on TV. Twice.
he/him
he/him
There aren’t as many Judeo-Elephantine panels/papers as I would like there to be at #SBLAAR25 this year, but the hotel is across the street from the בית יהו, so it all evens out.
November 22, 2025 at 3:35 PM
There aren’t as many Judeo-Elephantine panels/papers as I would like there to be at #SBLAAR25 this year, but the hotel is across the street from the בית יהו, so it all evens out.
In 1650 CE, the Bishop James Ussher released a chronology which added up the years in the biblical text to determine the age of the world. He determined that the Earth was created on October 23rd, 4004 BCE.
Happy 6,029th birthday, Earth! You don’t look a day over 4.5 billion!
Happy 6,029th birthday, Earth! You don’t look a day over 4.5 billion!
October 23, 2025 at 4:24 PM
In 1650 CE, the Bishop James Ussher released a chronology which added up the years in the biblical text to determine the age of the world. He determined that the Earth was created on October 23rd, 4004 BCE.
Happy 6,029th birthday, Earth! You don’t look a day over 4.5 billion!
Happy 6,029th birthday, Earth! You don’t look a day over 4.5 billion!
Hebrew Textbook glossing a phrase in the most archaic way possible. I think the gloss needs a gloss.
September 15, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Hebrew Textbook glossing a phrase in the most archaic way possible. I think the gloss needs a gloss.
The president of the United States just threatened to go to war against one of his own cities.
As usual, nobody will do anything about this.
As usual, nobody will do anything about this.
September 6, 2025 at 5:54 PM
The president of the United States just threatened to go to war against one of his own cities.
As usual, nobody will do anything about this.
As usual, nobody will do anything about this.
About to hit a milestone in my nerdiest hobby. @nytimes.com
September 3, 2025 at 3:15 PM
About to hit a milestone in my nerdiest hobby. @nytimes.com
Today, my wife and I hit a 2-year streak on the @nytimes.com Crossword.
We are gonna be the coolest couple in the nursing home one day.
We are gonna be the coolest couple in the nursing home one day.
December 9, 2024 at 4:03 PM
Today, my wife and I hit a 2-year streak on the @nytimes.com Crossword.
We are gonna be the coolest couple in the nursing home one day.
We are gonna be the coolest couple in the nursing home one day.
Art historians may say that he is is holding a wine cup, but the Kuttamuwa stele (8th c. BCE) is very clearly the earliest attestation of finger guns.
November 28, 2024 at 12:01 PM
Art historians may say that he is is holding a wine cup, but the Kuttamuwa stele (8th c. BCE) is very clearly the earliest attestation of finger guns.
Next week I'm presenting at SBL on the Jewish community at Elephantine in the 5th century BCE. If you're going to be at SBL and are interested in Jewish identity and power in diaspora, come check it out.
(Also, come ask me softball questions so I can look smart in front of all the other scholars)
(Also, come ask me softball questions so I can look smart in front of all the other scholars)
November 16, 2024 at 12:37 AM
Next week I'm presenting at SBL on the Jewish community at Elephantine in the 5th century BCE. If you're going to be at SBL and are interested in Jewish identity and power in diaspora, come check it out.
(Also, come ask me softball questions so I can look smart in front of all the other scholars)
(Also, come ask me softball questions so I can look smart in front of all the other scholars)
The time of year where Trader Joe’s has two cider options, but only one is correct
(It’s the honeycrisp one)
(It’s the honeycrisp one)
November 13, 2024 at 8:29 PM
The time of year where Trader Joe’s has two cider options, but only one is correct
(It’s the honeycrisp one)
(It’s the honeycrisp one)
Apple Music offering political commentary with their featured artist today.
November 7, 2024 at 2:33 AM
Apple Music offering political commentary with their featured artist today.
The moment my 7-year-old became radicalized against Donald Trump.
September 15, 2024 at 4:08 PM
The moment my 7-year-old became radicalized against Donald Trump.
Tomorrow (Thursday, April 25), all responses must be phrased in the form of a question.
April 24, 2024 at 2:48 PM
Tomorrow (Thursday, April 25), all responses must be phrased in the form of a question.
My week in tote bags:
March 15, 2024 at 2:38 AM
My week in tote bags:
Look, I know it's not practical to ask everyone to learn #BiblicalHebrew just to pick up on the wordplay, but there's honestly no way English can capture how funny Isaiah 28:10 is when read out loud in Hebrew.
(Transliteration in Alt Text)
(Transliteration in Alt Text)
January 1, 2024 at 4:39 AM
Look, I know it's not practical to ask everyone to learn #BiblicalHebrew just to pick up on the wordplay, but there's honestly no way English can capture how funny Isaiah 28:10 is when read out loud in Hebrew.
(Transliteration in Alt Text)
(Transliteration in Alt Text)
I see you out here,
@eldenring.bsky.social
putting The Great Psalms Scroll (11q5 column 23) from Qumran in your video game’s incantations artwork.
I’ve never played Elden Ring, but if the Dead Sea Scrolls are in it, I might have to give it a try.
@eldenring.bsky.social
putting The Great Psalms Scroll (11q5 column 23) from Qumran in your video game’s incantations artwork.
I’ve never played Elden Ring, but if the Dead Sea Scrolls are in it, I might have to give it a try.
December 17, 2023 at 4:08 AM
I see you out here,
@eldenring.bsky.social
putting The Great Psalms Scroll (11q5 column 23) from Qumran in your video game’s incantations artwork.
I’ve never played Elden Ring, but if the Dead Sea Scrolls are in it, I might have to give it a try.
@eldenring.bsky.social
putting The Great Psalms Scroll (11q5 column 23) from Qumran in your video game’s incantations artwork.
I’ve never played Elden Ring, but if the Dead Sea Scrolls are in it, I might have to give it a try.
My wife and I just hit a 1-year streak of doing the @nytimes.com Crossword everyday.
I think this will be a real boon in this year’s application for official recognized status as an Old Married Couple™.
I think this will be a real boon in this year’s application for official recognized status as an Old Married Couple™.
December 9, 2023 at 4:50 AM
My wife and I just hit a 1-year streak of doing the @nytimes.com Crossword everyday.
I think this will be a real boon in this year’s application for official recognized status as an Old Married Couple™.
I think this will be a real boon in this year’s application for official recognized status as an Old Married Couple™.
And my mom said my PhD would never be relevant or practical.
October 3, 2023 at 3:19 AM
And my mom said my PhD would never be relevant or practical.
What the hell is going on in LA tonight?
September 25, 2023 at 4:37 AM
What the hell is going on in LA tonight?
Love it when my books give me a disclaimer about how much pain they’re about to cause me.
September 21, 2023 at 10:08 PM
Love it when my books give me a disclaimer about how much pain they’re about to cause me.
Put up the Aramaic Behistun Inscription on my wall today.
It’s part of an ongoing effort to remind myself not to try to impersonate the son of Cyrus in an effort to usurp the throne of Persia and bring about the wrath of Darius against my house.
So far it seems to be working.
It’s part of an ongoing effort to remind myself not to try to impersonate the son of Cyrus in an effort to usurp the throne of Persia and bring about the wrath of Darius against my house.
So far it seems to be working.
September 12, 2023 at 4:27 PM
Put up the Aramaic Behistun Inscription on my wall today.
It’s part of an ongoing effort to remind myself not to try to impersonate the son of Cyrus in an effort to usurp the throne of Persia and bring about the wrath of Darius against my house.
So far it seems to be working.
It’s part of an ongoing effort to remind myself not to try to impersonate the son of Cyrus in an effort to usurp the throne of Persia and bring about the wrath of Darius against my house.
So far it seems to be working.
I finally got a hard copy set of the Textbook of Aramaic Documents from Ancient Egypt, so now I can pretend to be a real Elephantine scholar!
September 8, 2023 at 2:04 AM
I finally got a hard copy set of the Textbook of Aramaic Documents from Ancient Egypt, so now I can pretend to be a real Elephantine scholar!