Tyler Jarvis
@thailure.bsky.social
PhD candidate at UCLA. Lecturer of Classical Hebrew at AJU. Writing about Jewish Diaspora in the Achaemenid Period. Not a loser but I played one on TV. Twice.
he/him
he/him
Oh good I got sick at SBL.
November 26, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Oh good I got sick at SBL.
There aren’t as many Judeo-Elephantine panels/papers as I would like there to be at #SBLAAR25 this year, but the hotel is across the street from the בית יהו, so it all evens out.
November 22, 2025 at 3:35 PM
There aren’t as many Judeo-Elephantine panels/papers as I would like there to be at #SBLAAR25 this year, but the hotel is across the street from the בית יהו, so it all evens out.
Me: *Arf Arf Arf*
ASOR Panel: (Shocked Silence)
Me: Wait, was that not what you meant by seal impressions?
ASOR Panel: (Shocked Silence)
Me: Wait, was that not what you meant by seal impressions?
November 22, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Me: *Arf Arf Arf*
ASOR Panel: (Shocked Silence)
Me: Wait, was that not what you meant by seal impressions?
ASOR Panel: (Shocked Silence)
Me: Wait, was that not what you meant by seal impressions?
My application packet for one of the Asst. Professor jobs I’m applying to is 70 pages.
That just feels like too many pages for an initial application.
That just feels like too many pages for an initial application.
November 1, 2025 at 5:32 AM
My application packet for one of the Asst. Professor jobs I’m applying to is 70 pages.
That just feels like too many pages for an initial application.
That just feels like too many pages for an initial application.
Reposted by Tyler Jarvis
איתי אנשין שגיאין די אמרין דנה
why aren't we all learning Aramaic
October 31, 2025 at 3:45 PM
איתי אנשין שגיאין די אמרין דנה
In 1650 CE, the Bishop James Ussher released a chronology which added up the years in the biblical text to determine the age of the world. He determined that the Earth was created on October 23rd, 4004 BCE.
Happy 6,029th birthday, Earth! You don’t look a day over 4.5 billion!
Happy 6,029th birthday, Earth! You don’t look a day over 4.5 billion!
October 23, 2025 at 4:24 PM
In 1650 CE, the Bishop James Ussher released a chronology which added up the years in the biblical text to determine the age of the world. He determined that the Earth was created on October 23rd, 4004 BCE.
Happy 6,029th birthday, Earth! You don’t look a day over 4.5 billion!
Happy 6,029th birthday, Earth! You don’t look a day over 4.5 billion!
Also proposed: At the time that you hear the sound of The Stars and Stripes Forever, you will fall down and worship the statue. Anyone who does not fall down and worship will be thrown into a furnace of blazing fire.
Oklahoma Republicans propose all state colleges must have Charlie Kirk statue
Schools would be required to build memorial plaza and describe slain activist as civil rights leader or face fines
www.theguardian.com
September 21, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Also proposed: At the time that you hear the sound of The Stars and Stripes Forever, you will fall down and worship the statue. Anyone who does not fall down and worship will be thrown into a furnace of blazing fire.
Any non-US schools hiring a Jewish studies scholar who specializes in the Achaemenid diaspora and its echoes in the Hellenistic and Roman periods? Asking for a me.
September 20, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Any non-US schools hiring a Jewish studies scholar who specializes in the Achaemenid diaspora and its echoes in the Hellenistic and Roman periods? Asking for a me.
They’re really gonna make me root for Jimmy Kimmel.
September 18, 2025 at 4:28 AM
They’re really gonna make me root for Jimmy Kimmel.
Hebrew Textbook glossing a phrase in the most archaic way possible. I think the gloss needs a gloss.
September 15, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Hebrew Textbook glossing a phrase in the most archaic way possible. I think the gloss needs a gloss.
The president of the United States just threatened to go to war against one of his own cities.
As usual, nobody will do anything about this.
As usual, nobody will do anything about this.
September 6, 2025 at 5:54 PM
The president of the United States just threatened to go to war against one of his own cities.
As usual, nobody will do anything about this.
As usual, nobody will do anything about this.
About to hit a milestone in my nerdiest hobby. @nytimes.com
September 3, 2025 at 3:15 PM
About to hit a milestone in my nerdiest hobby. @nytimes.com
Just received word my first article has been accepted for publication!
Coming soon to a Vetus Testamentum near you: “Becoming Jews? Literary Reversal and Identity Expansion in Esther 8:17.”
Coming soon to a Vetus Testamentum near you: “Becoming Jews? Literary Reversal and Identity Expansion in Esther 8:17.”
August 28, 2025 at 2:07 PM
Just received word my first article has been accepted for publication!
Coming soon to a Vetus Testamentum near you: “Becoming Jews? Literary Reversal and Identity Expansion in Esther 8:17.”
Coming soon to a Vetus Testamentum near you: “Becoming Jews? Literary Reversal and Identity Expansion in Esther 8:17.”
Submitted an article today. I feel relieved to get it out there and off my plate. Now to not think about it for 2-12 months.
August 27, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Submitted an article today. I feel relieved to get it out there and off my plate. Now to not think about it for 2-12 months.
I'm really annoyed that this journal wants me to pay $42 to access a 2-page article published in 1915.
August 24, 2025 at 3:50 PM
I'm really annoyed that this journal wants me to pay $42 to access a 2-page article published in 1915.
The US is operating a concentration camp. The president is using the military to occupy cities with political dissidents. The Defense Secretary believes women shouldn’t have the right to vote.
The United States is not on a path towards fascism. We’re neck deep in it.
The United States is not on a path towards fascism. We’re neck deep in it.
August 14, 2025 at 4:05 AM
The US is operating a concentration camp. The president is using the military to occupy cities with political dissidents. The Defense Secretary believes women shouldn’t have the right to vote.
The United States is not on a path towards fascism. We’re neck deep in it.
The United States is not on a path towards fascism. We’re neck deep in it.
In that phase of writing where I can’t tell if I’m on to something or just on something.
a man in a blue shirt and tie is pointing at a board with papers on it .
ALT: a man in a blue shirt and tie is pointing at a board with papers on it .
media.tenor.com
August 12, 2025 at 2:49 AM
In that phase of writing where I can’t tell if I’m on to something or just on something.
I’m so sick of the sanewashing. “Extraordinary move” is such a weak-ass description of the dramatic erosion of democratic norms.
This is an authoritarian move. It’s a fascist move. It’s a naked power grab by a wannabe dictator. Call this what it is and stop being complicit. @reuters.com
This is an authoritarian move. It’s a fascist move. It’s a naked power grab by a wannabe dictator. Call this what it is and stop being complicit. @reuters.com
Trump takes over DC police in extraordinary move, deploys National Guard in capital — Reuters
U.S. President Donald Trump said on Monday he was deploying 800 National Guard troops to Washington and temporarily taking over the city's police department, an extraordinary assertion of presidential...
apple.news
August 12, 2025 at 2:15 AM
I’m so sick of the sanewashing. “Extraordinary move” is such a weak-ass description of the dramatic erosion of democratic norms.
This is an authoritarian move. It’s a fascist move. It’s a naked power grab by a wannabe dictator. Call this what it is and stop being complicit. @reuters.com
This is an authoritarian move. It’s a fascist move. It’s a naked power grab by a wannabe dictator. Call this what it is and stop being complicit. @reuters.com
Reposted by Tyler Jarvis
the intensity of my anger at those who would criminalize the homeless — a population literally created by the greed and callousness of the ruling class — is very hard to contain. it was you who dismantled the safety net. if you don’t like the results, put it back
August 11, 2025 at 4:00 PM
the intensity of my anger at those who would criminalize the homeless — a population literally created by the greed and callousness of the ruling class — is very hard to contain. it was you who dismantled the safety net. if you don’t like the results, put it back
So uh… how many cities is Trump going to have to claim jurisdiction over before the media starts calling him a fascist. Cause I thought one should have been plenty.
August 11, 2025 at 1:20 PM
So uh… how many cities is Trump going to have to claim jurisdiction over before the media starts calling him a fascist. Cause I thought one should have been plenty.
The more I research ancient Judaism, the less convinced I am that "monotheism" and "polytheism" are useful categories for understanding the development of Jewish thought and practice.
July 17, 2025 at 4:54 PM
The more I research ancient Judaism, the less convinced I am that "monotheism" and "polytheism" are useful categories for understanding the development of Jewish thought and practice.
Don’t mind me, I’m just listening to Tim Minchin’s “If This Plane Goes Down” while experiencing significant turbulence somewhere over the Caribbean.
June 18, 2025 at 4:16 AM
Don’t mind me, I’m just listening to Tim Minchin’s “If This Plane Goes Down” while experiencing significant turbulence somewhere over the Caribbean.
In the last 8 days, I've written 45 pages on my dissertation. I'm exhausted.
(They're not necessarily *good* pages, but, hey, a draft is a draft)
(They're not necessarily *good* pages, but, hey, a draft is a draft)
a man with long hair and a beard is tired
Alt: A scene from the movie Forrest Gump, in which Forrest, who has been running across the country, turns to the people following him and says "I'm pretty tired... I think I'll go home now"
media.tenor.com
June 3, 2025 at 4:30 AM
In the last 8 days, I've written 45 pages on my dissertation. I'm exhausted.
(They're not necessarily *good* pages, but, hey, a draft is a draft)
(They're not necessarily *good* pages, but, hey, a draft is a draft)
Our ASOR proposal got accepted, so now me and my colleagues get to go to Boston in November to talk about a Palmyrene Aramaic forgery at the LA County Museum of Art.
May 20, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Our ASOR proposal got accepted, so now me and my colleagues get to go to Boston in November to talk about a Palmyrene Aramaic forgery at the LA County Museum of Art.