David Withington
@thabacus.bsky.social
Enjoy techie stuff and talking about it. Love hearing and telling dad-jokes and dreadful puns.
My mum was into roll reversal.
She put the ham on the outside.
She put the ham on the outside.
January 7, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My mum was into roll reversal.
She put the ham on the outside.
She put the ham on the outside.
My Mum and Dad forced me to drink Australian lager when I was young.
They must have been Foster parents.
They must have been Foster parents.
January 6, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My Mum and Dad forced me to drink Australian lager when I was young.
They must have been Foster parents.
They must have been Foster parents.
My maths teacher called me average. That's mean!
January 5, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My maths teacher called me average. That's mean!
My mate's half Indian.
His name is Ian.
His name is Ian.
January 4, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My mate's half Indian.
His name is Ian.
His name is Ian.
My mate told me that someone had accused him of not being a true Cockney.
"So what did you do?" I asked.
"I pushed him down the apples and oranges," he replied.
"So what did you do?" I asked.
"I pushed him down the apples and oranges," he replied.
January 3, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My mate told me that someone had accused him of not being a true Cockney.
"So what did you do?" I asked.
"I pushed him down the apples and oranges," he replied.
"So what did you do?" I asked.
"I pushed him down the apples and oranges," he replied.
My mate thought National Anthems were Country music.
Actually... 😄
Actually... 😄
January 2, 2026 at 7:00 AM
My mate thought National Anthems were Country music.
Actually... 😄
Actually... 😄
My mate said to me "Why are you carrying a 7 foot book?'
"It's a long story!" I replied.
"It's a long story!" I replied.
January 1, 2026 at 7:01 AM
My mate said to me "Why are you carrying a 7 foot book?'
"It's a long story!" I replied.
"It's a long story!" I replied.
My mate persuaded me to have a go at ﾘblindfold archery' this week.
If you haven't tried it, you don't know what you're missing.
If you haven't tried it, you don't know what you're missing.
December 31, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My mate persuaded me to have a go at ﾘblindfold archery' this week.
If you haven't tried it, you don't know what you're missing.
If you haven't tried it, you don't know what you're missing.
My mate is going to marry a pencil.
He can't wait for his parents to meet his wife 2B.
He can't wait for his parents to meet his wife 2B.
December 30, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My mate is going to marry a pencil.
He can't wait for his parents to meet his wife 2B.
He can't wait for his parents to meet his wife 2B.
My horse loves a nice glass of wine.
Especially Chardon-neigh.
Especially Chardon-neigh.
December 29, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My horse loves a nice glass of wine.
Especially Chardon-neigh.
Especially Chardon-neigh.
My Grandparents were named Pearl and Dean.
But we called them Grandma and Papa-papa-papa-papa-papa-paa.
But we called them Grandma and Papa-papa-papa-papa-papa-paa.
December 28, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My Grandparents were named Pearl and Dean.
But we called them Grandma and Papa-papa-papa-papa-papa-paa.
But we called them Grandma and Papa-papa-papa-papa-papa-paa.
My Grandad had the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from Chester zoo.
December 27, 2025 at 7:01 AM
My Grandad had the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from Chester zoo.
My gran left her body to medical research to help us study nannatechnology!
December 26, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My gran left her body to medical research to help us study nannatechnology!
My friends laughed at me when I said one day I will discover the secret of invisibility.
If only they could see me now!
If only they could see me now!
December 25, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My friends laughed at me when I said one day I will discover the secret of invisibility.
If only they could see me now!
If only they could see me now!
My friend's dating a girl from the local zoo.
He says she's a keeper.
He says she's a keeper.
December 24, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My friend's dating a girl from the local zoo.
He says she's a keeper.
He says she's a keeper.
My friend writes tunes and lyrics about sewing machines.
She's a Singer songwriter.
She's a Singer songwriter.
December 23, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My friend writes tunes and lyrics about sewing machines.
She's a Singer songwriter.
She's a Singer songwriter.
My friend took going to jail really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, and spat and swore at anyone who came near him. After that, we never played Monopoly again.
December 22, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My friend took going to jail really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, and spat and swore at anyone who came near him. After that, we never played Monopoly again.
My friend stole a rabbit today. Then he had to make a run for it.
December 21, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My friend stole a rabbit today. Then he had to make a run for it.
My friend said he threw a ball 5 miles and his dog managed to find it and bring it back.
Seems a bit far-fetched...
Seems a bit far-fetched...
December 20, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My friend said he threw a ball 5 miles and his dog managed to find it and bring it back.
Seems a bit far-fetched...
Seems a bit far-fetched...
My friend keeps trying to convince me that he's a compulsive liar, but I don't believe him.
December 19, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My friend keeps trying to convince me that he's a compulsive liar, but I don't believe him.
My friend is dating a girl called Rosemary.
I don't know what he season her.
I don't know what he season her.
December 18, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My friend is dating a girl called Rosemary.
I don't know what he season her.
I don't know what he season her.
My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep.
I said ﾜ40ﾝ
I said ﾜ40ﾝ
December 17, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep.
I said ﾜ40ﾝ
I said ﾜ40ﾝ
My fear of moving stairs is escalating.
December 16, 2025 at 7:01 AM
My fear of moving stairs is escalating.
My favourite school teacher was Mr Turtle.
Strange name... but he tortoise well.
Strange name... but he tortoise well.
December 15, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My favourite school teacher was Mr Turtle.
Strange name... but he tortoise well.
Strange name... but he tortoise well.
My ex-girlfriend ended our relationship due to my mustard addiction.
I got a Dijon letter from her!
I got a Dijon letter from her!
December 14, 2025 at 7:00 AM
My ex-girlfriend ended our relationship due to my mustard addiction.
I got a Dijon letter from her!
I got a Dijon letter from her!