I fucking love my baby

Roses are red 🌹

Violets are blue 🪻

I popped off when I decided to heat up the sourdough starter next to the salt lamp

this and an edible would hit rn

What's a movie you absolutely adored that you wouldn't want to see get a sequel?

For me it's Everything Everywhere All At Once

We actually designed our car to be good at exploding

If you accept a facetime call in my house that person is guilty of home invasion

"new year, new me," she said before taking another edible and watching a Godzilla movie

Pictures of the baby I found funny

TEEN: you’re the only one who understands me danny. my stupid dad won’t let me go see billie eilish with gretchen
AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies

missed a spare at bowling and the scoreboard played an animation of me eating a log of shit with a knife and fork

sometimes… things that are expensive… are worse

Me hearing the news Congress is about to break up United Health Group and other insurance/pharmacy conglomerates…

My wife used to work at a major pharmacy.

When she saw someone stealing baby formula…… no the fuck she didn’t.

if i was godzilla id be knockin shit around too

looks like a blood test for endo may be on the way, making diagnosis much faster and easier, and helping many women avoid infertility as well as years of pain.

morbius

people hate on hamburger helper but that shit slaps idc

me on tumblr in 2007