So to summarize, your image is packed with mistakes, uses an exploitative tech, fails to communicate a clear message, displays your ignorance, insults the people of that county, makes you look like environmental vandals and fails to describe your key demographic.

This is why you pay a designer. 7/7

I can only assume it is AI generated, as surely no actual human would consent to those lines. Maybe he was serving a long prison sentence and they gave him a way out?

The twist is Madeline's legal name is actually "herself".

Yes, strangely because there was a bloke who used to attend trade shows in London circa 2007 (I'm sure I saw him at infosec and bett) who would come and accost unwary exhibitors and lecture them on the subject. Very odd.

I was in their shop in Amsterdam last month, some of their coffee is out of this world

Absolutely. You can't have one eighth of a person of colour in your advert with 5 people in it.
It's insane to think that TV should be exactly proportional to life. Cop shows would be very dreary if they adhered to the real prevalence of master criminals!

My wife is staunchly anti induction, but maybe I will win her round. What's the game changer with timer?

Silicone bog brush. So much more hygienic than the bristle sort.