"A wave crashed on her rock that she coyly called 'Bobbyrox,' sending up a fine salty mist that glazed her vertiginous décolletage. Was this a Pultizer in my future I was feeling? Nope, just a boner. Looking down, yup, boner. Later we shared the vape stick. It tasted like Skittles and sadness."

Oh, shit, it got worse:

"She steered the Mustang onto a patch of dirt on the side of the road and put on a black leather jacket that she pulled from the back seat. The rock she loved was at the edge of a vertiginous cliff, where water rolled and crashed."

I should add that I've lived within walking distance of the Pacific Ocean my entire life and I have yet to settle on my "favorite rock." But then, I'm probably more discerning than someone who wanted to fuck a guy who drives around with a dead bear cub in his car trunk

I'm just super picky that way

You'll get over it.

Is he going to invade Poland?

There would definitely be more “you motherfuckers” and “the gentleman from Texas can eat a bag of salted dicks” in the Congressional Record.

I absolutely agree, except Ro will play Temu Bernie Sanders until someone in Silicon Valley yanks his chain and it is so obvious.

So you missed that whole “Two things can be true…” part. Cool.

I often proclaim” breaking news” when I’m the first to do something.

“Breaking news: I am the first to open this new jar of peanut butter and disrupt its smooth delicious surface,” I yell from the kitchen. My family fucking loves it. Sometimes they applaud…

He just cut out the middlemen:

“Breaking news: I am the first…”

Got the important stuff out of the way right away..

I do this for a living. He’s on the Nancy Mace end of the “look at me,” spectrum without the telenovela drama.