Reposted by ~*tay*~
what is it about an android user that they absolutely MUST have their “boo bah da doop doop” message alert at 400% volume
December 13, 2025 at 3:29 PM
what is it about an android user that they absolutely MUST have their “boo bah da doop doop” message alert at 400% volume
Rolling up to Menards and flipping the light switch testers just to feel something
November 24, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Rolling up to Menards and flipping the light switch testers just to feel something
Thinking a lot about the last penny today…have they not killed Abe off enough?
Penny for your thoughts…
Penny for your thoughts…
November 13, 2025 at 5:44 AM
Thinking a lot about the last penny today…have they not killed Abe off enough?
Penny for your thoughts…
Penny for your thoughts…
Riding the overstimulation of having multiple contractors at my house while juggling Teams meetings; techs are performing unmatched powertool ASMR, the electrician and the energy company are duking it out in my driveway. FedEx is trying to get in my front door. Is this the Pluribus hivemind at work?
November 12, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Riding the overstimulation of having multiple contractors at my house while juggling Teams meetings; techs are performing unmatched powertool ASMR, the electrician and the energy company are duking it out in my driveway. FedEx is trying to get in my front door. Is this the Pluribus hivemind at work?
I Survived A Core Needle Biopsy And All I Got Was A Bruise The Size Of A Baseball And The Color Of A Jaundiced Shrek
September 3, 2025 at 6:54 PM
I Survived A Core Needle Biopsy And All I Got Was A Bruise The Size Of A Baseball And The Color Of A Jaundiced Shrek
Broke: “I’m going to Disney World!!!”
Woke: “I’m paying a visit to the mouse.”
Woke: “I’m paying a visit to the mouse.”
August 11, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Broke: “I’m going to Disney World!!!”
Woke: “I’m paying a visit to the mouse.”
Woke: “I’m paying a visit to the mouse.”
On the train this morning, I heard some light click-clacking below and looked over to see a lady working with some yarn. “Oh, she’s knitting.”
Upon further inspection I realized she was just untangling a pair of earbuds.
My brain power in the early AM is unmatched. 💫
Upon further inspection I realized she was just untangling a pair of earbuds.
My brain power in the early AM is unmatched. 💫
April 10, 2025 at 11:13 AM
On the train this morning, I heard some light click-clacking below and looked over to see a lady working with some yarn. “Oh, she’s knitting.”
Upon further inspection I realized she was just untangling a pair of earbuds.
My brain power in the early AM is unmatched. 💫
Upon further inspection I realized she was just untangling a pair of earbuds.
My brain power in the early AM is unmatched. 💫
I thought I was built different but hitting my 30s has resulted in unfathomable changes like-such-as “I eat yogurt now” and “sparkling water no longer nauseates me”
February 25, 2025 at 6:07 PM
I thought I was built different but hitting my 30s has resulted in unfathomable changes like-such-as “I eat yogurt now” and “sparkling water no longer nauseates me”
I once thought ✨ the idea ✨ of smacking a tiny piece of candy from one’s palm unexpectedly was the pinnacle of comedy. (My ex did not agree.)
Yesterday, I none the wiser to his passenger prince plans, my boy landed a direct hit on the side of my head with a straw wrapper.
An act of stolen valor. 🥤
Yesterday, I none the wiser to his passenger prince plans, my boy landed a direct hit on the side of my head with a straw wrapper.
An act of stolen valor. 🥤
February 21, 2025 at 10:04 PM
I once thought ✨ the idea ✨ of smacking a tiny piece of candy from one’s palm unexpectedly was the pinnacle of comedy. (My ex did not agree.)
Yesterday, I none the wiser to his passenger prince plans, my boy landed a direct hit on the side of my head with a straw wrapper.
An act of stolen valor. 🥤
Yesterday, I none the wiser to his passenger prince plans, my boy landed a direct hit on the side of my head with a straw wrapper.
An act of stolen valor. 🥤
reflecting on how my final 10 minutes of 2024 were spent discussing the finer points of Bee Movie (a film I have never seen)
is this an omen? what might 2025 hold? 🎷🐝?
is this an omen? what might 2025 hold? 🎷🐝?
January 2, 2025 at 10:00 PM
reflecting on how my final 10 minutes of 2024 were spent discussing the finer points of Bee Movie (a film I have never seen)
is this an omen? what might 2025 hold? 🎷🐝?
is this an omen? what might 2025 hold? 🎷🐝?
Reposted by ~*tay*~
my Spotify wrapped is just 975,346,212 listens to the dog of wisdom
December 4, 2024 at 4:14 PM
my Spotify wrapped is just 975,346,212 listens to the dog of wisdom
got invited as a plus one to a work holiday party - told the tall king he could introduce me as his “emotional support bozo”
he laughed and then said he’d introduce me as his girlfriend. Comedy Is Key, Baby
he laughed and then said he’d introduce me as his girlfriend. Comedy Is Key, Baby
December 4, 2024 at 9:48 PM
got invited as a plus one to a work holiday party - told the tall king he could introduce me as his “emotional support bozo”
he laughed and then said he’d introduce me as his girlfriend. Comedy Is Key, Baby
he laughed and then said he’d introduce me as his girlfriend. Comedy Is Key, Baby
the impressive crossover of cast members who were in both Twilight and The OC is not a merging of worlds that I ever anticipated in my coming-of-age catchup marathon
February 28, 2024 at 7:48 AM
the impressive crossover of cast members who were in both Twilight and The OC is not a merging of worlds that I ever anticipated in my coming-of-age catchup marathon
truly infuriating that themed versions of Monopoly don’t feature updated jail illustrations.
when I play Hello Kitty Monopoly, I want to see Hello Kitty behind bars. Target Monopoly? my man Bullseye had better be in an orange jumpsuit
when I play Hello Kitty Monopoly, I want to see Hello Kitty behind bars. Target Monopoly? my man Bullseye had better be in an orange jumpsuit
January 22, 2024 at 5:52 PM
truly infuriating that themed versions of Monopoly don’t feature updated jail illustrations.
when I play Hello Kitty Monopoly, I want to see Hello Kitty behind bars. Target Monopoly? my man Bullseye had better be in an orange jumpsuit
when I play Hello Kitty Monopoly, I want to see Hello Kitty behind bars. Target Monopoly? my man Bullseye had better be in an orange jumpsuit
fighting back against my declining mental health by staring into a mirror and repeating my favorite mantra:
“there’s noOoOo waaaaay you can stopppp…the SCHOOL OF ROOOOOCK!!!”
“there’s noOoOo waaaaay you can stopppp…the SCHOOL OF ROOOOOCK!!!”
November 28, 2023 at 5:41 AM
fighting back against my declining mental health by staring into a mirror and repeating my favorite mantra:
“there’s noOoOo waaaaay you can stopppp…the SCHOOL OF ROOOOOCK!!!”
“there’s noOoOo waaaaay you can stopppp…the SCHOOL OF ROOOOOCK!!!”
casually referring to actors and other TV/internet personalities you like by shortened versions of their names in an effort to feel close to someone
November 18, 2023 at 11:07 PM
casually referring to actors and other TV/internet personalities you like by shortened versions of their names in an effort to feel close to someone
one of the finer points of adulthood is getting to choose whatever cereals I want at the grocery store; I can enjoy both Froot Loops AND Reese’s Puffs, and it is a sincere pleasure.
anyway in completely unrelated news my tummy hurts and I want my mommy
anyway in completely unrelated news my tummy hurts and I want my mommy
November 13, 2023 at 5:29 AM
one of the finer points of adulthood is getting to choose whatever cereals I want at the grocery store; I can enjoy both Froot Loops AND Reese’s Puffs, and it is a sincere pleasure.
anyway in completely unrelated news my tummy hurts and I want my mommy
anyway in completely unrelated news my tummy hurts and I want my mommy
*Jack Black voice* actually it's 'maymay'
November 2, 2023 at 6:03 PM
*Jack Black voice* actually it's 'maymay'
you ever stare into an animal's soul like "you do not know the crimes of capitalism. you could not comprehend what was going on when they killed off Mr. Peanut and replaced him with Baby Nut"
October 21, 2023 at 2:17 AM
you ever stare into an animal's soul like "you do not know the crimes of capitalism. you could not comprehend what was going on when they killed off Mr. Peanut and replaced him with Baby Nut"
playing Bratz: Rock Angelz and thinking about how mouth movements in video games haven't improved at all since 2005
October 14, 2023 at 6:41 AM
playing Bratz: Rock Angelz and thinking about how mouth movements in video games haven't improved at all since 2005
another day, another battle against intrusive thoughts regarding The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour
October 4, 2023 at 9:04 PM
another day, another battle against intrusive thoughts regarding The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour
it's about that time of year again where I start lying to myself and say "maybe I'll finally do NaNoWriMo!!!"
September 22, 2023 at 9:18 PM
it's about that time of year again where I start lying to myself and say "maybe I'll finally do NaNoWriMo!!!"
LEGO this. LEGO that. when are we getting LEGO Twilight Saga
September 16, 2023 at 1:51 AM
LEGO this. LEGO that. when are we getting LEGO Twilight Saga
sometimes, you mold Play-Doh. other times, Plato molds you. (the author recommends reading this one out loud)
September 15, 2023 at 2:32 AM
sometimes, you mold Play-Doh. other times, Plato molds you. (the author recommends reading this one out loud)
sorry, I can’t come out tonight. playing VR cornhole
September 9, 2023 at 1:50 AM
sorry, I can’t come out tonight. playing VR cornhole