Talkingmonkey
@talkingmonkey.bsky.social
creative director | copywriter | brand pilot || thinker | perceiver | fire starter | degen trader | occasional Jedi | canary in a coal mine | elephant in the room || talking monkey
One day while reading one of his favorite “books,” young Donny saw something that really inspired him. ”Wow,” he said out loud to nobody. “I just need to find out what I’M good at. But, aw shucks…I’m really only good at grifting and lying.” Then it came to him. “Ah ha! I’ll be president!”
October 28, 2025 at 3:55 PM
One day while reading one of his favorite “books,” young Donny saw something that really inspired him. ”Wow,” he said out loud to nobody. “I just need to find out what I’M good at. But, aw shucks…I’m really only good at grifting and lying.” Then it came to him. “Ah ha! I’ll be president!”
Someone just reminded that LEGO is both singular and plural.
But—grammar be damned—a “bucket of Legos” is now and always will be correct to a kid with a buckets of Legos.
But—grammar be damned—a “bucket of Legos” is now and always will be correct to a kid with a buckets of Legos.
October 26, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Someone just reminded that LEGO is both singular and plural.
But—grammar be damned—a “bucket of Legos” is now and always will be correct to a kid with a buckets of Legos.
But—grammar be damned—a “bucket of Legos” is now and always will be correct to a kid with a buckets of Legos.
List of coming White House amenities:
☑️ 24-Hour Foot Massage Parlor
☑️ Qatari Jet Parking w/ Valet Service
☑️ 18 Hole Mini Golf Course w/ Gold Windmill
☑️ A Money Counting Room
☑️ An "Escalator to Nowhere"
☑️ Vintage Chuck E. Cheese Animatronic Show
☑️ Mini McD's with Golf Cart Drive-Thru Window
☑️ 24-Hour Foot Massage Parlor
☑️ Qatari Jet Parking w/ Valet Service
☑️ 18 Hole Mini Golf Course w/ Gold Windmill
☑️ A Money Counting Room
☑️ An "Escalator to Nowhere"
☑️ Vintage Chuck E. Cheese Animatronic Show
☑️ Mini McD's with Golf Cart Drive-Thru Window
October 23, 2025 at 6:48 PM
List of coming White House amenities:
☑️ 24-Hour Foot Massage Parlor
☑️ Qatari Jet Parking w/ Valet Service
☑️ 18 Hole Mini Golf Course w/ Gold Windmill
☑️ A Money Counting Room
☑️ An "Escalator to Nowhere"
☑️ Vintage Chuck E. Cheese Animatronic Show
☑️ Mini McD's with Golf Cart Drive-Thru Window
☑️ 24-Hour Foot Massage Parlor
☑️ Qatari Jet Parking w/ Valet Service
☑️ 18 Hole Mini Golf Course w/ Gold Windmill
☑️ A Money Counting Room
☑️ An "Escalator to Nowhere"
☑️ Vintage Chuck E. Cheese Animatronic Show
☑️ Mini McD's with Golf Cart Drive-Thru Window
Rich people should buy themselves best friends so they have someone who can tell them when they look like they raided a dystopian future film's wardrobe trailer.
October 13, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Rich people should buy themselves best friends so they have someone who can tell them when they look like they raided a dystopian future film's wardrobe trailer.
Have a weekend this weekend, y'all.
Especially you, Portland.
Stay strong, peaceful, green and sassy.
Especially you, Portland.
Stay strong, peaceful, green and sassy.
October 10, 2025 at 10:37 PM
Have a weekend this weekend, y'all.
Especially you, Portland.
Stay strong, peaceful, green and sassy.
Especially you, Portland.
Stay strong, peaceful, green and sassy.
Saw a preview of the new Dear Leader commemorative coin today.
/s
/s
October 4, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Saw a preview of the new Dear Leader commemorative coin today.
/s
/s
Sometimes it seems like all White House Karen does is stand up there and barks at us. Know what I mean?
(sound on) #karolineleavitt
(sound on) #karolineleavitt
October 3, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Sometimes it seems like all White House Karen does is stand up there and barks at us. Know what I mean?
(sound on) #karolineleavitt
(sound on) #karolineleavitt
“Yo, fascist bros, check out this dark af vid of me being like…a Sith Lord or something…playing a cowbell…badly.” —DJT
October 3, 2025 at 7:50 PM
“Yo, fascist bros, check out this dark af vid of me being like…a Sith Lord or something…playing a cowbell…badly.” —DJT
Great album covers are great.
This one...(Chef's kiss).
This one...(Chef's kiss).
October 1, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Great album covers are great.
This one...(Chef's kiss).
This one...(Chef's kiss).
<---It should go without saying perhaps that I'm having a sad feels day.
Rest, Dr. Jane
Apr 3, 1934—Oct 1, 2025)
🍌 🥃 🙏🏼
Legend...
Rest, Dr. Jane
Apr 3, 1934—Oct 1, 2025)
🍌 🥃 🙏🏼
Legend...
October 1, 2025 at 7:12 PM
<---It should go without saying perhaps that I'm having a sad feels day.
Rest, Dr. Jane
Apr 3, 1934—Oct 1, 2025)
🍌 🥃 🙏🏼
Legend...
Rest, Dr. Jane
Apr 3, 1934—Oct 1, 2025)
🍌 🥃 🙏🏼
Legend...
The cringe of silence...
(sound on)
(sound on)
September 30, 2025 at 6:35 PM
The cringe of silence...
(sound on)
(sound on)
September 29, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Oh dear...
Well...
You make choices...
And you live with them.
Well...
You make choices...
And you live with them.
September 25, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Oh dear...
Well...
You make choices...
And you live with them.
Well...
You make choices...
And you live with them.
Lose weight now,
Ask me how…
✅😆
/s
Ask me how…
✅😆
/s
September 24, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Lose weight now,
Ask me how…
✅😆
/s
Ask me how…
✅😆
/s
Super weird song choice, right?
(shrug)
(shrug)
September 22, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Super weird song choice, right?
(shrug)
(shrug)
Weekend to do list:
August 29, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Weekend to do list:
Have a good weekend, er'body.
Goal: smile at a stranger...not in a creepy, weird way.
Goal: smile at a stranger...not in a creepy, weird way.
August 29, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Have a good weekend, er'body.
Goal: smile at a stranger...not in a creepy, weird way.
Goal: smile at a stranger...not in a creepy, weird way.
Me telling my crocodile tears to get to work: Ok, you're on. And go...
My crocodile tears: Nope.
My crocodile tears: Nope.
August 11, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Me telling my crocodile tears to get to work: Ok, you're on. And go...
My crocodile tears: Nope.
My crocodile tears: Nope.
I have a theory about who has turned the #ovaloffice into a repository of tacky gold sh*t.
Gnomes. It's gnomes.
Or elves. Maybe elves.
Gnomes. It's gnomes.
Or elves. Maybe elves.
August 7, 2025 at 4:10 PM
I have a theory about who has turned the #ovaloffice into a repository of tacky gold sh*t.
Gnomes. It's gnomes.
Or elves. Maybe elves.
Gnomes. It's gnomes.
Or elves. Maybe elves.
“Boss…da plaen…da plaen.” — Judy Vance
August 7, 2025 at 5:46 AM
“Boss…da plaen…da plaen.” — Judy Vance
Elmo: Hey gang, starting a new political party.
Me: Uh...no thanks.
Me: Uh...no thanks.
July 9, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Elmo: Hey gang, starting a new political party.
Me: Uh...no thanks.
Me: Uh...no thanks.
So flippin’ mysterious.
Love it.
Favorite album art…go.
Love it.
Favorite album art…go.
June 29, 2025 at 12:33 AM
So flippin’ mysterious.
Love it.
Favorite album art…go.
Love it.
Favorite album art…go.