I hope those that treated me that way have the life they deserve.

I wish I had the capacity I have now. I wish I could reach back through time to whisper advice, reassurance. I can't. But I know now after years of reflection, on and off therapy, and trying to ground myself that the hurt I felt back then was valid and not just self-pity.

I reread through one of the most gutting messages I'd received from someone who I'd originally planned to grow old with, and while I didn't feel anything for them other than the satisfaction they are no longer in my life, I did feel for past-me. How I was treated was not okay.

Cleaning up my main bsky

Or did you know that you wanted to be desired by me?

But let me ask you: what’s my favorite color? What are my siblings names? What’s the school I went to? What was my initial career pursuit? Did you know me?

With being put on pedastals, to being made to be the boogeyman, I do love that so many paint such immense pictures of me without ever having known me.

And those that have? I’m glad you started therapy, I’m glad your schooling/job/house is going well.

There’s someone who, back in 2023, said they didn’t want to waste their time roleplaying when they could instead be making.

I wish I’d listened to them.

Numbers wise, the male canon had over 8,000 dms. Almost 2,400 with his love interest. Edie? With her love interest? 241.

There was cruel joking abt it being “The (someone else’s character) & Edie Show”, talking abt killing my oc off without me there and out of spite… the pressure and weird interpersonal beef and ultimatums that sparked whenever I tried to write anything other than that male canon.

Trying to find where you gave this much of a shit regarding Melissa’s murder via political assassination and am coming up with absolutely fucking nothing.

Nice to know where your priorities lie!