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Stuart Stevens 🇵🇸 🇺🇦 🇪🇺
@stuartstevens.co.uk
Public access qualified barrister.
All views are my own.
When dads are left to look after the children… don’t threaten us with a good time.
November 30, 2025 at 8:19 PM
I feel safer already.

At least the 87 year old didn’t hurt the poor police officers arresting him for peacefully holding up a sign.

Imagine a police force bragging about this on Facebook. It should be parody.
November 18, 2025 at 7:44 PM
‘Quiet piggy!’

Genuinely American voters are wild.
November 18, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Sat at an airport waiting for a plane. Airport boarder security strut past all suited and booted.

My three year old watches them pass us and wistfully says ‘I’m going to break the rules.’
October 28, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Reposted by Stuart Stevens 🇵🇸 🇺🇦 🇪🇺
Farage: epic grifter
October 27, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Adverts in the middle of a film? Bezos is taking the piss. Sort it out Prime.
October 27, 2025 at 8:15 PM
I’m trying to explain to my three year old what a music record was.

He’s only ever known Spotify or Amazon/Google speakers. The idea of a physical record is alien.

I feel like a caveman trying to explain my trusty pointy stick.
October 27, 2025 at 8:08 AM
Starmer wants to allow these animals into Birmingham after they rioted in Amsterdam last year. Their matches in Israel are being called off in the last few weeks because of their ‘serious violence’.

How will the British citizens be compensated when this lot inevitably commit violence in Birmingham?
October 20, 2025 at 8:59 PM
My only real question about “Prince” Andrew after all this coming out is…

…do we think he’s sweating yet?
October 20, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Last week my three year old said ‘he’s a fat man isn’t he daddy!’ while we were swimming at the gym.

Yesterday he said ‘he’s an old man isn’t he daddy!’ while we were swimming in the same pool.

How long is it before I’m banned from the gym?
October 15, 2025 at 8:53 AM
Why is no one asking what “Prince” Andrew meant when he told post conviction Jeffrey Epstein that they were ‘in this together’ and would ‘play again soon’?

Bet he’s sweating over this…
a close up of a man in a suit and tie
ALT: a close up of a man in a suit and tie
media.tenor.com
October 14, 2025 at 5:43 PM
So my 3 year old and I were in the adult pool at the gym. He turns and looks at a guy next to us and says loudly and clearly ‘He’s a fat man isn’t he daddy?’

He wasn’t wrong but I had to swim to the other end of the pool.
October 11, 2025 at 3:45 PM
My three year old told me that he’ll love me ‘until the sun falls out of the sky’ at bedtime tonight. He’s a poetic little chap.
October 7, 2025 at 7:52 PM
It’s almost like being in the protected market is better than being out of it.

British steel faces ‘biggest crisis in its history’ as EU imposes 50% tariffs - The Times and The Sunday Times

apple.news/AHL-K_3VrQZO...
British steel faces ‘biggest crisis in its history’ as EU imposes 50% tariffs — The Times and The Sunday Times
The British steel industry faces the “biggest crisis” in its history after the European Union said it had “no choice” but to hit the UK with 50 per cent tariffs. In a blow for Sir Keir Starmer’s “rese...
apple.news
October 7, 2025 at 5:51 PM
After over 2 years of searching, I found my favourite mushrooms at Thetford Forest! 🍄🍄🍄

This is bucket list stuff worthy of a mention. You’re all welcome.
October 4, 2025 at 10:53 AM
Was up at 2am because my 3 year old couldn’t find his teddy ‘chick’ last night. Then up again at 4am because he ‘needed a hug’. Then again at 5am because he couldn’t find the blanket’.

Ou it takes me back to early baby days. 🥴
October 1, 2025 at 6:57 AM
Why aren’t the Courts in the US conducting remote hearings for refugees and asylum seekers?

If my clients were being targeted by rogue agencies with no accountability I’d be applying for judges to list cases remotely so the client could attend safely. Scary stuff.
September 28, 2025 at 12:35 PM
South Park is incredible. They’re just all out at war with Trump and his people. It’s fearless. If only everyone else had half their backbone.
September 26, 2025 at 8:08 PM
You know when someone says ‘don’t push the mysterious big red button…’

I’m 100% going to take it now. For curiosity if nothing else. I’m not pregnant anyway.
September 24, 2025 at 8:47 AM
‘Trump’s so fat he needs two seats on the Epstein jet.’

- Robert De Niro on Jimmy Kimmel

That was funny.
September 24, 2025 at 8:08 AM
I keep pegging my wife in public and she’s fallen out with me.

Apparently it’s weird to take colourful clothes pegs out and covertly clip them to her when she’s distracted and wait for her to find them.

Hashtag normalise pegging.
September 13, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Now I see. It’s not the guns causing gun death. It’s all the hormonal trans people. It’s the 0.8% demographic to blame. How did I miss this?

This is cartoonishly shitty to be saying on tv. Especially when the shooter is unknown! I couldn’t write parody as good as this. What a c.u.n.t. Genuinely.
September 12, 2025 at 7:40 AM
The Kirk news is obviously tragic.

But if I had lost a loved one to gun violence and heard someone repeatedly say that gun deaths were an acceptable price to pay to ensure others could own guns, I’d certainly struggle with it.

I can see why someone might lash out against him.
September 11, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Would you call current Hugh Grant old Hugh Grant or would you call young Hugh Grant old Hugh Grant.

My wife and I had a disagreement about it. She said old Hugh Grant meant his old films where he’s a hopeless romantic. I said old Hugh Grant was him now because he’s now a bit older.
September 8, 2025 at 5:20 PM