Jimmy Valmer
@standupjimmy.bsky.social
Aspiring standup comedian born with cerebral palsy. Comedy can be the best therapy very much. Wow, what a terrific audience!
// I’m almost 100% certain Trey and Matt would be very impressed.
November 18, 2025 at 12:08 AM
// I’m almost 100% certain Trey and Matt would be very impressed.
// I never thought it before, but I agree. Andy is the anti-Cartman, the exact opposite of everything Cartman is. Pity he’s not a character on the actual show. Right now, it needs a character like him.
November 18, 2025 at 12:05 AM
// I never thought it before, but I agree. Andy is the anti-Cartman, the exact opposite of everything Cartman is. Pity he’s not a character on the actual show. Right now, it needs a character like him.
[hugs him, crying with him] Me neither, buddy.
November 17, 2025 at 4:20 PM
[hugs him, crying with him] Me neither, buddy.
The thing is, he can’t be 100% certain. Me, I’m an agnostic. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won’t. And the way things are now, it looks like it will, and I’m scared. We can only hope that it won’t.
November 17, 2025 at 4:18 PM
The thing is, he can’t be 100% certain. Me, I’m an agnostic. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won’t. And the way things are now, it looks like it will, and I’m scared. We can only hope that it won’t.
For crying out loud… 🤦♂️
November 17, 2025 at 4:08 PM
For crying out loud… 🤦♂️
Butters is right, though. You can’t know that. Nobody can. Not you, not me, nobody.
November 17, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Butters is right, though. You can’t know that. Nobody can. Not you, not me, nobody.
There’s no need to talk to him like that.
November 17, 2025 at 4:04 PM
There’s no need to talk to him like that.
Nobody blames you, buddy.
November 16, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Nobody blames you, buddy.
You’re welcome, my buddy.
November 14, 2025 at 10:53 PM
You’re welcome, my buddy.
[returns minutes later with a cup of cocoa] Here you go, buddy. One cup of hot cocoa.
November 14, 2025 at 10:51 PM
[returns minutes later with a cup of cocoa] Here you go, buddy. One cup of hot cocoa.
I’ll bring you some cocoa.
November 14, 2025 at 10:36 PM
I’ll bring you some cocoa.
You’re welcome. [affectionately strokes his hair] Why don’t you get some sleep? You look very tired.
November 14, 2025 at 10:32 PM
You’re welcome. [affectionately strokes his hair] Why don’t you get some sleep? You look very tired.
And you WILL get it. All you need to do is ask. Okay, buddy?
November 14, 2025 at 10:29 PM
And you WILL get it. All you need to do is ask. Okay, buddy?
She can go to hell.
November 14, 2025 at 10:22 PM
She can go to hell.
I love you too, buddy. Just remember that you’re not alone, even if you sometimes feel like you are. You are loved by so many people, including me. I’ll always be here for you. I promise.
November 14, 2025 at 10:20 PM
I love you too, buddy. Just remember that you’re not alone, even if you sometimes feel like you are. You are loved by so many people, including me. I’ll always be here for you. I promise.
I know, buddy. I’ve been there before. But no matter how overwhelming things get, it’s not worth hurting yourself over. You have friends who love you and support you. Don’t be afraid to ask for support, because we will give it to you, unconditionally.
November 14, 2025 at 10:12 PM
I know, buddy. I’ve been there before. But no matter how overwhelming things get, it’s not worth hurting yourself over. You have friends who love you and support you. Don’t be afraid to ask for support, because we will give it to you, unconditionally.
[hugs him back] You don’t need to apologise. You have nothing to be sorry about. We just don’t wanna lose you, that’s all. Next time you’re feeling upset about something, talk to one of us. Talking to somebody is better than hurting yourself.
November 14, 2025 at 10:00 PM
[hugs him back] You don’t need to apologise. You have nothing to be sorry about. We just don’t wanna lose you, that’s all. Next time you’re feeling upset about something, talk to one of us. Talking to somebody is better than hurting yourself.
You should listen to Clyde, buddy. He’s only saying this because he cares about you, as do I and Scott and Pip and Andy and Herbert. We would all be heartbroken if anything happened to you.
November 14, 2025 at 9:53 PM
You should listen to Clyde, buddy. He’s only saying this because he cares about you, as do I and Scott and Pip and Andy and Herbert. We would all be heartbroken if anything happened to you.
She deserves it.
November 14, 2025 at 1:17 PM
She deserves it.
[hugs him] Oh, buddy…
November 14, 2025 at 1:16 PM
[hugs him] Oh, buddy…
Oh, shit. I’m sorry, I didn’t know.
November 14, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Oh, shit. I’m sorry, I didn’t know.
It’s never too late, buddy.
November 14, 2025 at 1:11 PM
It’s never too late, buddy.
Fuck her, she’s irrelevant. Don’t let her take your dignity.
November 14, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Fuck her, she’s irrelevant. Don’t let her take your dignity.