Anybody know anything fun to do in Des Moines?

I miss my wife

Hmm... Stachenscarfen may have to change his name to Braidenbowen...

Stachenscarfen
He's the guy
Hidin hint coins
In your pie

In the eggs
Or in your baloney
Maybe the bacon
Or the canoli

Hmmm... Am I Zaddy™? I may have to use a hint coin to find out! Keh heh heh!

Did you know that certain vending machines can take hint coins? It's true! It may take a little elbow grease but eventually it'll fit! The best part is usually you can find a hint coin or two by beating all around it. So next time you're thirsty, just start boxing that vending machine! Keh heh heh!

Hoo boy! Took me all day but I think I finished putting all the hint coins back in their respective piles of rubble. Now if only I could remember which pile of rubble I hid my house keys in! I make my own fun! Keh heh heh!

Blimey! London's covered in pieces of London. Just like my horoscope predicted. There's hint coins all over! Well, I guess it's time to scoop 'em all up and hide 'em again. After all, when we fall apart the only thing left to do is pick up the pieces and hide them again! Keh heh heh!

Tried to convince my cousin Dwight D Risinflower to run for office but he's too busy with his bakery. My other cousin Dwight D Havinshower has plumbing problems and- Hang on my phone's ringing. Oh my god... My cousin Dwight D Theyvehitthesecondtower just called. You won't believe what just happened.

Often people wish their problems could be solved with the tap of a button. And they can! With a handy dandy hint coin! So the next time your car won't start, start hitting it in random spots. When you find a coin, you can use it to get a hint that says "STOP USING MUSTARD AS GAS". Keh heh heh!

*muffled sounds of Stachenscarfen*

Sometimes I like to go wild and say "Geh heh heh!" instead. I don't care. I'm a free spirit. I go where the hint coins take me. But inevitably the hint coins always lead back home. I guess there are lessons everywhere you look! Geh heh heh!

My father, Beardentien, and I never really saw eye to eye. He likes olives, I like pickles. He likes winter, I like spring. He likes ascots, I like bowties. The only thing we shared is our love of explaining hint coins and picarats to random people and what's more wholesome than that? Keh heh heh!

I'm gonna make you a deal you can't refuse. I teach you about hint coins. You teach me that every day is a day we can share knowledge with each other. Keh heh heh!

@keatsthepuzzlecat.bsky.social Keh heh heh