squinty
@squintyeyes.bsky.social
I have been summoned in the traditional way using the Bloodstone Ritual.
I hope you get your ballroom floor
Your perfect house with rose red doors
I'm the last thing you'd remember
It's been a long, lonely December
I wish I'd known that less is more
But I was passed out on the floor
And that's the last thing I remember
It's been a long, lonely December
Your perfect house with rose red doors
I'm the last thing you'd remember
It's been a long, lonely December
I wish I'd known that less is more
But I was passed out on the floor
And that's the last thing I remember
It's been a long, lonely December
December 25, 2024 at 10:31 AM
I hope you get your ballroom floor
Your perfect house with rose red doors
I'm the last thing you'd remember
It's been a long, lonely December
I wish I'd known that less is more
But I was passed out on the floor
And that's the last thing I remember
It's been a long, lonely December
Your perfect house with rose red doors
I'm the last thing you'd remember
It's been a long, lonely December
I wish I'd known that less is more
But I was passed out on the floor
And that's the last thing I remember
It's been a long, lonely December
I mean, why else would I get called down there?
October 19, 2023 at 3:37 PM
I mean, why else would I get called down there?
How I'm going to start ending all my work e-mails:
"...and if you have any question, please don't. Hesitate to ask."
"...and if you have any question, please don't. Hesitate to ask."
October 18, 2023 at 10:44 PM
How I'm going to start ending all my work e-mails:
"...and if you have any question, please don't. Hesitate to ask."
"...and if you have any question, please don't. Hesitate to ask."
The guy from the game Operation was clearly awake.
I just want you guys to think about that today.
I just want you guys to think about that today.
October 16, 2023 at 5:05 PM
The guy from the game Operation was clearly awake.
I just want you guys to think about that today.
I just want you guys to think about that today.
That plane is all of us on a Monday.
October 2, 2023 at 11:03 PM
That plane is all of us on a Monday.
The basis of our society.
September 30, 2023 at 11:49 PM
The basis of our society.
It's weird living in a state where dispensaries are a thing...
September 29, 2023 at 2:47 PM
It's weird living in a state where dispensaries are a thing...
But how did the AI know?
September 21, 2023 at 7:43 PM
But how did the AI know?
It's not fair that it's socially acceptable for roosters to begin the day screaming, but when I do it I get 'Wellness Checks.'
September 17, 2023 at 5:07 AM
It's not fair that it's socially acceptable for roosters to begin the day screaming, but when I do it I get 'Wellness Checks.'
These 50/50 chances always mess me up.
September 16, 2023 at 4:21 PM
These 50/50 chances always mess me up.
I was in a band calledThe Hinges.
We opened for The Doors.
We opened for The Doors.
September 15, 2023 at 3:35 PM
I was in a band calledThe Hinges.
We opened for The Doors.
We opened for The Doors.
The sale is a whopping 3% off.
September 14, 2023 at 8:35 PM
The sale is a whopping 3% off.
Great Hide'n'Seek players are really hard to find.
September 13, 2023 at 7:34 PM
Great Hide'n'Seek players are really hard to find.
I'm taking steps to overcome my hiking addiction.
I'm not out of the woods yet.
I'm not out of the woods yet.
September 12, 2023 at 4:01 PM
I'm taking steps to overcome my hiking addiction.
I'm not out of the woods yet.
I'm not out of the woods yet.
My therapist told me I have trouble expressing emotions.
Can't say I was surprised.
Can't say I was surprised.
September 11, 2023 at 8:07 PM
My therapist told me I have trouble expressing emotions.
Can't say I was surprised.
Can't say I was surprised.
A tombstone with a typo is a grave mistake.
September 10, 2023 at 7:31 PM
A tombstone with a typo is a grave mistake.
Please don't ask me such evil questions.
September 10, 2023 at 2:45 AM
Please don't ask me such evil questions.
We put the 'FUN' in 'FUNERAL.'
September 7, 2023 at 12:02 AM
We put the 'FUN' in 'FUNERAL.'
Someday I want the confidence that these two men had to make their dreams come true.
August 31, 2023 at 10:18 PM
Someday I want the confidence that these two men had to make their dreams come true.
Me: Hey Universe, I could really use some encouragement. Send me a sign!
The Universe:
The Universe:
August 30, 2023 at 6:24 PM
Me: Hey Universe, I could really use some encouragement. Send me a sign!
The Universe:
The Universe:
*singing*
I heard there was a tennis game,
Boo laced his shoes and Bowser came,
But you don’t really
care for tennis, do you?
It goes like this, a game set match,
And on his cap he wore a patch,
Inverted L, his name was Waluigi
Waluigi, Waluigi, Waluigi, Waluigi
I heard there was a tennis game,
Boo laced his shoes and Bowser came,
But you don’t really
care for tennis, do you?
It goes like this, a game set match,
And on his cap he wore a patch,
Inverted L, his name was Waluigi
Waluigi, Waluigi, Waluigi, Waluigi
August 29, 2023 at 9:24 PM
*singing*
I heard there was a tennis game,
Boo laced his shoes and Bowser came,
But you don’t really
care for tennis, do you?
It goes like this, a game set match,
And on his cap he wore a patch,
Inverted L, his name was Waluigi
Waluigi, Waluigi, Waluigi, Waluigi
I heard there was a tennis game,
Boo laced his shoes and Bowser came,
But you don’t really
care for tennis, do you?
It goes like this, a game set match,
And on his cap he wore a patch,
Inverted L, his name was Waluigi
Waluigi, Waluigi, Waluigi, Waluigi
I was always told "you'll understand when you're older."
I'm 38 and I understand less than when I was 10.
This growing up bullshit is a goddamn pyramid scheme, I swear.
I'm 38 and I understand less than when I was 10.
This growing up bullshit is a goddamn pyramid scheme, I swear.
August 28, 2023 at 6:57 PM
I was always told "you'll understand when you're older."
I'm 38 and I understand less than when I was 10.
This growing up bullshit is a goddamn pyramid scheme, I swear.
I'm 38 and I understand less than when I was 10.
This growing up bullshit is a goddamn pyramid scheme, I swear.
New study suggests it's actually up to 92%.
August 28, 2023 at 2:16 AM
New study suggests it's actually up to 92%.
