write me a 20 chapter outline and ill publish this so we can live like KINGS

scoops callahan here with live updates from the championship Big Vibrator Orgasm Classic, in the triplegasm event we have reigning champion Aoki riding a buckin' bronco machine that also vibrates at sixteen thousand bean flicks (16kbfs) a second

but how is a bus fulla nymphos gonna fulfill my longing for guys?!

what did u call them

Woke 2 is gonna be ruthless

absolutely genius time to get shot by your enemy, right in the middle of therapy

my bad big dawg we were lookin for the swap meet, mom let's get outta here

You always do this, why can't we go to a fuckin Chili's instead, we never do anything I wanna do on vacation

"mijo it looks so niiice next to the sab-woOfer waowww" is what my grandpa would say if he could see this cute lil box

Tal-kin bout hey now

I keep picturing Arnie from Silver Bullet screaming "REINGOLD TIME, ARNIE!!!" before tucking into this video with the roaches on the train tracks

Insurance agent takes a huge shit on your pillow just to prove that it's fully covered by your deductible