Anyways, didn’t mean for this to become a thread.

Time to go do currency wars and utterly fucking suck at it because I am getting horrific flashbacks to that one fucking Saurian-esque Genshin event with the same premise. Which I SUCKED AT.

But this is like 4x more complicated. Yay!

I made a typo up there. If you see it. No you don’t. ☹️

I’m going to be honest, Phainon is probably the wisest pull decision I’ve ever made on a whim. I pulled him before I even started watching through the Amphoreus story and getting caught up, so I didn’t have much of a connection then.

I would’ve been so fucked. I mean… I still am, but not as bad.

I’m going to be so real, I barely fucking beat Aquila 3 times for Phainon’s Trace Materials.

I was borrowing a Hyacine, without her I definitely would’ve been unable to clear. But it took me. An HOUR. To fight Aquila 3 times. With my poorly built Phainon team.

At the very least, I’d like to snag Mydei, Sunday, and Aventurine. Both because I like them, and because Sunday is a useful unit for chatacters I have. (Phainon + Jing Yuan.)

But I am not paying for this game when I can’t bring myself to play often, so I’m doomed on the ftp route.

Oh yeah and not to mention.

I haven’t truly pulled since Boothill came out.

I managed to hop on briefly and snag Phainon, he wasn’t built until the other day. I somehow got Anaxa recently but…

My ability to clear recent content is in shambles. Everyone I had before is powercrept…

Don’t get me wrong. I love HSR.

I just couldn’t play after my iPad storage couldn’t handle it. (My stupid ass forgot to choose a higher storage when I bought the fucking thing.)

Now that I can (Ps5)… it’s. A lot. The game has changed. Lots. It’s also a pain to use controller & not touchscreen.😞

There are ways to twist it, to add in a semblance of affection, or romance… but it’ll always remain dark.

Why I fell for this pairing? I’m not fully sure. I love both characters, (despite what Hoyo did with Rerir’s backstory… I pretend it happened differently) & I find their dynamic… fascinating.

Hualian fit my cravings in every way, a deep seated mutual obsession, loving, warm, inseparable, possessive… but mutually so.

While RerFlins falls under the most toxic end of that spectrum. A dark obsession, cruel, seeking true ownership of the other, unaffectionate, mainly just lust, or bloodlust.

It doesn’t help that, despite my very strong preference for sappy, romantic type pairings… I’ve attached myself to RerFlins, and they can’t quite give me what I had originally thrived on with Hualian.

They rest on entirely opposite ends of “Obsession” as a concept.

I miss Hualian. But I’m still distancing myself. Everything is too much, and I don’t think I can truly come back to them until I’m in a much better place mentally to work on my one true project for them, that being their headcanon ref sheets.

I still repost art, but I just, don’t feel anything.😞

But the true Cyrene is forever left in the past, forgotten by all but the Demiurge and Trailblazer. She is dead, and all that remains is the Demiurge’s impersonation of her.

She sacrificed herself, and got the bad ending, so everyone else could have a chance at a real future. We never even met her.