Eric Spitznagel
@spitznagel.bsky.social
Writer, journalist, humorist, shut-in. I'm the author of "Old Records Never Die," amongst other books.
https://www.ericspitznagel.com
https://ericspitznagel.substack.com
https://www.ericspitznagel.com
https://ericspitznagel.substack.com
I was supposed to get 15 minutes with Ken Burns to talk about his new Revolutionary War doc, but we ended up talking for two hours, nerding out about history. Did you know he carries around a copy of the Constitution with him AT ALL TIMES? Check out my profile of Burns for AARP. Link in comments.
November 18, 2025 at 5:46 PM
I was supposed to get 15 minutes with Ken Burns to talk about his new Revolutionary War doc, but we ended up talking for two hours, nerding out about history. Did you know he carries around a copy of the Constitution with him AT ALL TIMES? Check out my profile of Burns for AARP. Link in comments.
Just a reminder to Trump that this is what we do to Nazis in Chicago.
September 3, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Just a reminder to Trump that this is what we do to Nazis in Chicago.
The new pope, Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost, is from Chicago. Which means before the weekend, putting ketchup on a hotdog will officially become a sin. I'm sorry, those are just the rules. Take it up with God!
May 8, 2025 at 5:40 PM
The new pope, Cardinal Robert Francis Prevost, is from Chicago. Which means before the weekend, putting ketchup on a hotdog will officially become a sin. I'm sorry, those are just the rules. Take it up with God!
“Every dog has his day.” - Tony “Scarface” Montana
February 13, 2025 at 11:21 PM
“Every dog has his day.” - Tony “Scarface” Montana
The best political op-eds get right to the point.
February 8, 2025 at 6:34 PM
The best political op-eds get right to the point.
Finally, 2025 has some *good* news.
February 5, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Finally, 2025 has some *good* news.
Always have a plan B.
January 11, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Always have a plan B.
I can't be the only one who read this too fast and thought the Dow tumbled because of a blowjob report.
January 10, 2025 at 5:34 PM
I can't be the only one who read this too fast and thought the Dow tumbled because of a blowjob report.
When I was a kid, this is what I thought successful, well-adjusted adults looked like.
January 4, 2025 at 9:12 PM
When I was a kid, this is what I thought successful, well-adjusted adults looked like.
New Karl Marx cover is fire.
January 2, 2025 at 6:50 PM
New Karl Marx cover is fire.
Happy 65th birthday to Grandpaboy!
December 31, 2024 at 2:56 PM
Happy 65th birthday to Grandpaboy!
And even then, I'll need more details.
December 30, 2024 at 8:17 PM
And even then, I'll need more details.
Rest in peace to the president who showed us how to be a more decent human being. #ripjimmycarter
December 29, 2024 at 9:19 PM
Rest in peace to the president who showed us how to be a more decent human being. #ripjimmycarter
The perfect Christmas gift for the special someone in your life who wants a 9-year-old book about a 40-year-old looking for punk records from the 80s.
www.amazon.com/Old-Records-...
www.amazon.com/Old-Records-...
December 19, 2024 at 6:26 PM
The perfect Christmas gift for the special someone in your life who wants a 9-year-old book about a 40-year-old looking for punk records from the 80s.
www.amazon.com/Old-Records-...
www.amazon.com/Old-Records-...
No Christmas songs about whatever is happening here and I think that's BULLSHIT.
December 18, 2024 at 6:31 PM
No Christmas songs about whatever is happening here and I think that's BULLSHIT.
Two of the three people in this photo are dead. The one who isn't is celebrating his 81st birthday today.
December 18, 2024 at 4:33 PM
Two of the three people in this photo are dead. The one who isn't is celebrating his 81st birthday today.
Happy 65th birthday to the Second City, the theater where I met my wife, wrote at least four books while being paid to sell tickets, and ate the same pretzels covered in mouse poop for dinner because I was broke that a pre-fame Tina Fey and Stephen Colbert did.
December 16, 2024 at 10:36 PM
Happy 65th birthday to the Second City, the theater where I met my wife, wrote at least four books while being paid to sell tickets, and ate the same pretzels covered in mouse poop for dinner because I was broke that a pre-fame Tina Fey and Stephen Colbert did.
This is the exact amount of focus I’m able to commit to each workday until the end of 2024.
December 13, 2024 at 9:24 PM
This is the exact amount of focus I’m able to commit to each workday until the end of 2024.
I'm as ready for End Times as I'll ever be.
December 13, 2024 at 12:44 AM
I'm as ready for End Times as I'll ever be.
My dog doesn’t bite. Which is kinda disappointing, because now I’ll never get to recreate my dad’s favorite Peter Sellars gag.
December 11, 2024 at 6:22 PM
My dog doesn’t bite. Which is kinda disappointing, because now I’ll never get to recreate my dad’s favorite Peter Sellars gag.
When people ask, “Any plans for the weekend?”
December 6, 2024 at 7:03 PM
When people ask, “Any plans for the weekend?”
Our son’s record of having better musical taste than either of his parents remains unbroken. (No, I’m not sharing mine. It’s like the soundtrack for a retirement home rec room.)
December 4, 2024 at 6:16 PM
Our son’s record of having better musical taste than either of his parents remains unbroken. (No, I’m not sharing mine. It’s like the soundtrack for a retirement home rec room.)
“The old man is us, and his dry lunch is our dry life.”
December 1, 2024 at 5:16 PM
“The old man is us, and his dry lunch is our dry life.”