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sol

@spider.florist

400 followers 380 following 2.9K posts

web dev, game dev, obligate parasite

making games about bugs but very slowly

he/him

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sol

@spider.florist

We set up a gate and broke her pathfinding like a stranded Terran SCV

February 6, 2026 at 12:33 PM

sol

@spider.florist

Every single morning

January 23, 2026 at 11:35 AM

sol

@spider.florist

Liiike.

"Just do it how it's supposed to be done!" they'd
sigh. It's like when people say you are a bad writer of biographies because of your purple prose and subject- ive interference, calling what you do an overwritten, postmodern, maximalist, pastiche trash-heap where every sentence is too tangled to simply read, every moment kept too conscious to fully immerse oneself in the story because there isn't any balance of plain, exact language, and that they were "bumped" by the uneven tones and moods, and "turned off" by the ob- sessive capitalizations, pun runs, mixed metaphors, bad taste, solipsisms, anachronisms, obfuscations, al- literation addiction, and overwrought, ornamental, overdone descriptions, often annoyingly playing with assonance. Well, what can I say, I was made in God's image, not in an editor's. We all know the sting of such
lazy discrediting, I'm sure, Dear Reader.

January 21, 2026 at 2:57 PM

sol

@spider.florist

Liike.

Ulysses had many a steed. There was Zog, and Torg, Efforgroz, and Thargoth, to name a few. He knew his tombstone would be decorated
with all of them, every horse, even those he didn't personally know. His tombstone would also be in the shape of a horse; his casket, some- how a saddle. Ever see a bull ride a horse? Yes, you have, right now, as
Little Man Grant prances his steed on the palm of your mind's hand. Everyone came to know him as "that quiet horse boy." Ulysses and his pals would go on riding sessions, mastering tricks, and drinking
two liters. His gang agreed that he could ollie highest and do the best

—I don't know, saddle stands? Yet to his astonishment the rich kids always got the horse-riding trophies over him because their dads had bought the judge, had bought the best horse, had bought the best hay, or had bought lessons from Arabian textbook teachers. The rich boys with horsing tutors would get puff-piece writeups about them in Horse Lord Weekly Magazine. Grant grit his neglected teeth at these profiles which included engravings of the rich boys in their five- piece dandy fits, their hair smoothed down with the finest ambergris grease, their eyelids shiny and low. These richies had real smiles and
promising futures, which sprang forth from their unworried minds. The magazines and papers lied, saying these damn dandies were sup- posedly better at horses than Grant. Like Kensington, Carrington, or
Vanderpump. Like X, Y, or Lee ... Robert E. Lee was a hot-shit young man who rode horses in Virginia back East. He constantly got writeups and was recently en- graved marrying George Washington's grandkid or some unbelievable bullshit. There he was, Lee, eating crumpets and inheriting the na- tion's dad's cufflinks. Of Lee and his class, Grant would say "These richies don't ride from the bestial heart. I don't want to prove to them I can ride without sloshing my tea. I want to show the world that I can
ride up a goddamn pine tree while shooting three guns." That's the thing about the salt of the earth: they're salty. But the local rich kids would display their scrunched-up faces when witness- ing the unorthodox riding of Ulysses. They'd cackle, the chortlers, saying "You'll never be horse-famous. You'll never go to a good school,
horse-based or not!"

January 21, 2026 at 2:56 PM

sol

@spider.florist

Like.

HOW CAN WE KNOW A DEAD PERSON? HOW CAN WE KNOw A living person? A
lover? A rival? An enemy?
Dear Reader, we biographers know how. Have you ever risked your body for love? Have you ever ruined a body for power? Oh, you will, you will; together we will. This is a biog-
raphy, after all. If done correctly, a sermon is a spell, and a spell is a sermon. If done to perfection, the preacher, along with their parish, will transform as soon as the chorus climaxes. A biography should do the same. This
one does. So, with the help of fiery muses, I cast such a spell here for You and I to know the mind and body of this dead man. We shall inhabit him,
Our Host, Our Hero. Dubious times call for obvious talk. Therefore, we shall talk in black and white, good and evil, for I swear Our Hero is a good one. Each age has its own Destined American Warrior Hero, emblematic of the best that men can be in their time. And later ages have their perfect
biographies of such men. This is that. How do you make an American? One third depression, one third anxiety, one third narcissism, and you shake like hell. Because in real- ity, the American Dream is just to survive the American Reality. Yes, to avoid the American Nightmare of ruin, we must keep dreaming that
we might simply survive this Biblical Wilderness.

January 21, 2026 at 2:55 PM

sol

@spider.florist

Me flirting, for some reason

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance screenshot showing the current mission’s rules:

FORBIDDEN: Charm
RECOMMEND: Confuse

January 18, 2026 at 12:45 AM

sol

@spider.florist

same vibes

Achewood panel. A man with a goatee and baseball cap stands on a corner holding a sign saying
RECOVERING LIBERTARIAN
ANYTHING HELPS

a guy drives past in an old school car and driving goggles thinking “Fucking beautiful”

January 14, 2026 at 3:02 PM

sol

@spider.florist

This is sincerely the most helpful description of the artistic process I’ve ever seen

How to draw an owl
1. Draw some circles
2. Draw the rest of the fucking owl

January 14, 2026 at 1:48 PM

sol

@spider.florist

Sure thing man here you go

January 13, 2026 at 3:58 PM

sol

@spider.florist

man

Anthony Bourdain quote about Kissinger edited to say: “Once you’ve been to the bulbapedia page for bug type strengths and weaknesses you’ll never stop wanting to beat Game Freak to death with your bare hands”

January 13, 2026 at 3:00 PM

sol

@spider.florist

Embarrassing to put out a product like this. First of all it’s an air fryer basket. Second of all, it’s spelled “clothes”

Picture of an open air fryer displaying the text “Close basket”

January 11, 2026 at 12:04 AM

sol

@spider.florist

Thanks to George for reminding me of the best comment I’ve gotten on one of my videos

YouTube comment from @gtabbro1337, 9 years ago:

Wait, how did you become these sleazy creature?

January 5, 2026 at 5:06 AM

sol

@spider.florist

we have important work to do

guy (me) on a couch wearing a hoodie that looks like a substitute from pokemon, viewed from above. cat's on his lap and getting pats.

January 4, 2026 at 5:23 AM

sol

@spider.florist

Really wasn’t ready to find out that Gregg Turkington used to be hot

January 1, 2026 at 9:10 PM

sol

@spider.florist

The animaniacs “finger prints” joke but it’s “blue prints”

January 1, 2026 at 1:40 PM

sol

@spider.florist

Sometimes I worry that if I don’t repost this sick ass piece @feralroyal.bsky.social did of my d&d character, Bagworm, yall might decide that I am not constantly thinking about it, But I Am

Look at them. Perfect idiot genius angel 🐛

A hulking robot with glowing fuchsia eyes wearing a bunch of mismatched armor pieces, pelts, and plant life. They are crouching down and looking at a bug held in their giant metal gauntlet.
Some details include:
- A lantern hanging from a fishing rod over their head
- big dragonfly wings
- a conch shell pauldron
- a golden prosthetic hand with a withered arm visible inside through glass windows

December 31, 2025 at 2:38 AM

sol

@spider.florist

Replaying The Watcher, Rain World‘s latest DLC. something that struck me about the original is how many different kinds of claustrophobia the game can present you with; what strikes me here is how many ways they can depict a space as being traumatically, ontologically unwell

Screenshot of Fetid Glen, a region from Rain World: The Watcher. Pipes and smokestacks rise out of a sickly green water lit with red emergency lighting and reach into a nauseous green and orange sunset. The air is blurry like burnt pixels.

December 31, 2025 at 12:59 AM

sol

@spider.florist

Castform?? I mean you’re the biologist but I always thought those were boobs. Maybe it’s one of the ones with a dimorphism

The pokemon Castform, whose cloud like shape includes two prominent, pendulous globes

December 29, 2025 at 12:25 PM

sol

@spider.florist

I really wish this weren’t legitimately the best drawing advice it is possible to receive, but unfortunately this is exactly my method, so. Godspeed I guess

December 29, 2025 at 5:56 AM

sol

@spider.florist

I’m a big fan of timelapses bc they show the multiple mental breakdowns I experience per drawing. I’ve heard some artists draw by knowing what they want a thing to look like and this is insane to me. I draw by going through every possible permutation of wrong for every single detail

December 28, 2025 at 4:46 PM

sol

@spider.florist

Also this is a redraw of one of my earlier bugs from before I kinda cemented on my current art style, so this is what my stuff looked like <
~5 years and ~30 bugs ago

Drawing of a hornet, black and white and red with heavily stylized shapes and colors

December 28, 2025 at 4:27 PM

sol

@spider.florist

Centurions are incarnations of the Queen’s order manifested as avatars of violence. It is said that their power of these commanders does not dwindle with their numbers, and that the few who remain wield the ferocity of the hundreds who fought before them.