Laura Simms
@speakersimms.bsky.social
Insurance loss control consultant (I find monsters under the bed for commercial and industrial accounts)
My mom was sure the JOA was designed to break the unions. She told me I could publish her death notice when the JOA ended. Madonna Ann Simms died 05-18-1996. I waited, Mom:
January 4, 2026 at 1:54 PM
My mom was sure the JOA was designed to break the unions. She told me I could publish her death notice when the JOA ended. Madonna Ann Simms died 05-18-1996. I waited, Mom:
We moved recently. This was my morning view today.
December 20, 2025 at 11:35 PM
We moved recently. This was my morning view today.
@briankachadurian.bsky.social My brain immediately stopped worrying about the comma. I started to diagnose the mechanical problem.
December 2, 2025 at 11:55 PM
@briankachadurian.bsky.social My brain immediately stopped worrying about the comma. I started to diagnose the mechanical problem.
Firefighters evidently repel when they can’t rappel. @freep.com @johnemcintyre.bsky.social
October 1, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Firefighters evidently repel when they can’t rappel. @freep.com @johnemcintyre.bsky.social
I found this online. I thought you’d like evidence of why my generation is so frail.
September 3, 2025 at 10:46 PM
I found this online. I thought you’d like evidence of why my generation is so frail.
I wore pearls and skirted suits for my first 20 yrs in the electrical biz. This was taken ~1993 by a rep in MN who covered ND and SD, too. We were on our annual trip to see a far-flung SD distributor.
August 18, 2025 at 12:05 AM
I wore pearls and skirted suits for my first 20 yrs in the electrical biz. This was taken ~1993 by a rep in MN who covered ND and SD, too. We were on our annual trip to see a far-flung SD distributor.
The 2022 version falls open to the right pages. I’ve tabbed 2025, but still reach for 2022. I put 2025 on top to break the habit!
August 17, 2025 at 5:38 PM
The 2022 version falls open to the right pages. I’ve tabbed 2025, but still reach for 2022. I put 2025 on top to break the habit!
Weather app says we are having thunderstorms. We are not, but it does appear likely to snow.
August 11, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Weather app says we are having thunderstorms. We are not, but it does appear likely to snow.
STFU Copilot (everyone can tell you're Clippy in disguise, and I didn't invite you to come along w/most recent update):
August 10, 2025 at 4:30 PM
STFU Copilot (everyone can tell you're Clippy in disguise, and I didn't invite you to come along w/most recent update):
Dixie’s favorite person (my SIL) went to the bathroom. She made sure to wait.
July 7, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Dixie’s favorite person (my SIL) went to the bathroom. She made sure to wait.
@cogitoergowtf.bsky.social How’d you do?
July 2, 2025 at 9:10 PM
@cogitoergowtf.bsky.social How’d you do?
How’d you do on Tightrope?
June 25, 2025 at 11:53 PM
How’d you do on Tightrope?
Joey loved to bite the water coming out of the hose. I couldn't interest the two dogs I had after he died.
June 22, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Joey loved to bite the water coming out of the hose. I couldn't interest the two dogs I had after he died.
Must have been seconds faster (2380)
June 8, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Must have been seconds faster (2380)
I learned to roller skate in my 30s. A sign at a school skating event read "All who enter must skate (except parents). I didn't see the exception. I took private lessons. My youngest went to group skating lessons w/me, too.
June 7, 2025 at 4:34 PM
I learned to roller skate in my 30s. A sign at a school skating event read "All who enter must skate (except parents). I didn't see the exception. I took private lessons. My youngest went to group skating lessons w/me, too.
I get paid to spot monsters under the bed (commercial insurance loss control). An agent and I visited a prospect today, and the agent sent this.
May 20, 2025 at 10:59 PM
I get paid to spot monsters under the bed (commercial insurance loss control). An agent and I visited a prospect today, and the agent sent this.
Donna: Here’s the payment schedule. I read somewhere else this is a calendar oddity, not something caused by the current administration.
March 30, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Donna: Here’s the payment schedule. I read somewhere else this is a calendar oddity, not something caused by the current administration.
Someone told me yesterday that the 9 C-19 shots I’ve had all contained tracking microchips. My friend John died months after the vaccine became available because he wasn’t vaccinated. He thought he couldn’t get sick, and he didn’t get the shot.
March 15, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Someone told me yesterday that the 9 C-19 shots I’ve had all contained tracking microchips. My friend John died months after the vaccine became available because he wasn’t vaccinated. He thought he couldn’t get sick, and he didn’t get the shot.
Based on the news about DOGE employing the daughter of a Russian spy, Warren Zevon's "Lawyers, Guns and Money" is stuck in my brain.
February 23, 2025 at 1:40 PM
Based on the news about DOGE employing the daughter of a Russian spy, Warren Zevon's "Lawyers, Guns and Money" is stuck in my brain.
Looking forward to Thursday!
January 20, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Looking forward to Thursday!
This is auto show weather.
January 14, 2025 at 10:26 PM
This is auto show weather.
Uh oh. Did a dog get giardia, or is something else going on? Melvin got sick twice drinking from Clinton River. I miss him. Eating a whole dead bird finally took him down.
December 24, 2024 at 11:54 PM
Uh oh. Did a dog get giardia, or is something else going on? Melvin got sick twice drinking from Clinton River. I miss him. Eating a whole dead bird finally took him down.
In 2010, my surgeon helped Bob find someone who could treat, but not cure, my friend Bob’s brain tumor. @thankscancer.bsky.social
December 18, 2024 at 11:46 PM
In 2010, my surgeon helped Bob find someone who could treat, but not cure, my friend Bob’s brain tumor. @thankscancer.bsky.social
Dixie expects me to remove my mittens every 6 minutes to dispense a treat. I am glad she hasn’t put me in the position of removing burrs from her long coat.
December 8, 2024 at 2:11 PM
Dixie expects me to remove my mittens every 6 minutes to dispense a treat. I am glad she hasn’t put me in the position of removing burrs from her long coat.
I earned another certificate (IRMI TRIP). There is no room on my business cards for more letters.
November 30, 2024 at 5:33 PM
I earned another certificate (IRMI TRIP). There is no room on my business cards for more letters.