Sparky Clarkson
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sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
Sparky Clarkson
@sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
370 followers 390 following 1.8K posts
oh mighty shai-hulud, keeper of balance
bless the maker and his water
bless the coming and going of him
may his passing delete your account
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sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
spinner chasing the tube like
Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) skydiving to catch the unconscious August Walker (Henry Cavill) in Mission Impossible: Fallout
November 20, 2025 at 3:25 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
infuriating!
A still image of Steve Martin from his classic comedy, The Jerk
November 6, 2025 at 4:05 PM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
Greg Kinnear as Captain Amazing in Mystery Men, bedecked with sponsor logos.
October 31, 2025 at 6:50 PM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
The Moxie Boy, but the Moxie logo is replaced by the Dick Tracy logo. Sorry, I don't know why my brain is like this.
October 13, 2025 at 2:03 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
Response to a #maptober challenge on Inkarnate: day 11 - cozy tavern. inkarnate.com/m/kjrA6x
An overhead view of a dimly lit tavern. There are ten booths with curtains to close them off, and rug-covered hallways leading to a kitchen and taproom. Behind a bookcase there is a secret exit to a back alley. A trapdoor is peeking out from underneath a rug -- maybe it leads to the sewers?
October 12, 2025 at 4:34 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
Sora, Donald, Goofy, and -- you guessed it -- Tron in 2005's Kingdom Hearts II, which for unknown reasons introduced TRON to a whole new generation of people who did not care about it
October 10, 2025 at 5:46 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
it's giving
Al Gore and Bill Clinton in the 90s after jogging, drinkin' giant McDonalds soft drinks, wearin' short shorts and lookin' like huge dorks.
September 20, 2025 at 2:59 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
you can say TRANS RIGHTS, fuckers
Text of an email from the Democrats asking if there is anything they can say to convince me to donate to the DNC today.
September 4, 2025 at 1:57 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
Panel 1: Lindsay asks "Well, did it work for those people?" Panel 2: Tobias says "No, it never does. I mean, these people delude themselves into thinking it might but..." Panel 3: Tobias concludes "...but it might work for us."
September 1, 2025 at 4:31 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
Thinking today about the immortal wisdom of one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. May you squash that face for whatever remains of eternity.
An image of Andre the Giant, attached to a purported quote "I don't like to speak badly of people. I have grown up thinking and being told that if you cannot say something nice about someone, you should not say anything at all. But I must break that rule in this case because I hate Hulk Hogan very much. He is a big ugly goon and I want to squash his face."
July 25, 2025 at 1:42 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
intrusive thought of the day
An altered film still from The Two Thrones, in which an orc shouts "Looks like wheat's back on the menu, boys!" instead of meat as in the original. His sword has been (crudely) replaced with a baguette.
July 15, 2025 at 1:55 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
A lovely greyhound trying his best
July 2, 2025 at 2:14 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
what alien wrote this quiz
an image from an online quiz asking "How much would you like to eat:" then showing a picture of "Southern Cobb Salad", which isn't a thing, and offering a slider offering a spectrum between "Disagree" and "Agree" -- although it's not clear what proposition we are expected to agree with.
June 29, 2025 at 11:07 PM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
I should create a gallery of terrible phase programs. #NMRchat
A 256-step phase cycle laid out across 5 cycled pulses and two alternate receiver programs
June 12, 2025 at 1:44 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
RIP George Wendt
George Wendt as "Norm Peterson" from Cheers, a man who perfected the role of that guy who's your pal at the bar.
May 21, 2025 at 6:28 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
when in doubt make a shitty shoop
one of will's networks I have clumsily photoshopped to include the famous photo of einstein sticking his tongue out
May 17, 2025 at 2:23 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
Imagine putting this graph in an article about "How bad S.F.'s return-to-office is"
A graph showing that San Francisco lags significantly behind other cities in forcing its worker to endure the risk and tedium of a pollution-generating commute in pursuit of pointless return-to-office goals that diminish productivity and worker happiness.
April 18, 2025 at 1:46 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
A scanned photograph from a 1999 issue of Hot Rod magazine showing a gray Ford Pinto executing a burnout.
April 17, 2025 at 2:35 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
Everyone who ever signs a deal with Trump ends up in this scene eventually, sans the good looks and awesome cape.
Lando Calrissian emerges from an elevator grumbling that his deal with Darth Vader is "getting worse all the time" due to Vader's continual one-sided changes to extract more from Lando and give him less.
April 16, 2025 at 3:14 PM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
An angry man looks at the camera. The subtitle reads "I know writers who use formatting and they're all cowards"
March 26, 2025 at 2:23 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
Usually the "God's plan" statements just make me roll my eyes but I'll allow this.
A San Francisco Chronicle online headline: "Prisoner who beat up Scott Peterson during pickleball explains: 'It was God's plan for sure' "
March 17, 2025 at 4:02 PM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
I know a lot's been said already, and maybe it's not the most important thing to get worked up about, but can you believe this shit? The President of the United States of America is hawking his buddy's shitty cars in front of the White House!
The President of the United States of America hawking his buddy's shitty cars in front of the White House
March 12, 2025 at 3:00 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
An image of the decapitated synthetic person from Alien, describing his admiration for its purity of survival instinct and lack of conscience
March 12, 2025 at 2:42 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
but he already has a cybertruck
A cybertruck some RW influencer dude gave Donald Trump as an illegal in-kind campaign contribution. This cybertruck is made even uglier than its god-forsaken brethren by the addition of a hideous wrap showing Trump in the moments after he was grazed by a would-be *ss*ss**'s bullet in Pennsylvania.
March 11, 2025 at 4:48 AM
sparkyclarkson.bsky.social
movin' on up to "troubled"
The Susan Collins Concern Scale, with "Not Concerned" at 0, "Mildly Concerned" at 2, "Moderately Concerned" at 4, "Severely Concerned" at 6, "Troubled" at 8, and the dreaded "Disappointed" at 10. Appropriately concerned images of Susan Collins are included to guide the diagnostician's use of the scale.
February 27, 2025 at 4:36 AM