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spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Spamusement!
@spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
1 followers 0 following 61 posts
Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines!
By Steven Frank unless otherwise indicated.
https://web.archive.org/web/20200415101153/http://www.spamusement.com/
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spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
I was Pulled right out of the Regis Studio Audience

October 12, 2004
Spamusement #99: I was Pulled right out of the Regis Studio Audience Two men drag a cheering shirtless man wearing a cowboy hat, diaper, and boots out of a studio audience. He holds a mug in the air, and a rake lies on the floor near a seated observer.
January 24, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
But I'd like to

November 9, 2004
Spamusement #128: But I'd like to Two police officers arrest a man next to a sign that reads "NO HAND JIVING by city ordinance."
January 23, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
have you ever benefited from a smallcap?

November 30, 2004
Spamusement #146: have you ever benefited from a smallcap? Two men stand under a sign that reads LOW CLEARANCE with downward arrows. The man on the left is smiling and wearing a very tiny baseball cap, while the man on the right wears a normal-sized hat.
January 22, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
hello, how can i not help you?

August 11, 2004
Spamusement #37: hello, how can i not help you? A cashier behind a counter labeled CASHIER plugs his ears with his fingers, sticks out his tongue, and shouts LA LA LA LA LA at a customer standing in the foreground holding a piece of paper.
January 21, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Michel brownie

September 14, 2004
Spamusement #71: Michel brownie A block-shaped brownie with a simple smiling face and stick limbs wearing a black beret and waving.
January 20, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Someone you know is getting much better because of this product

December 6, 2004
Spamusement #152: Someone you know is getting much better because of this product A box of medication labeled CHATTERQUEL next to a single capsule. The packaging features an illustration of a person with a crossed-out speech bubble and the text TALK MORE QUIETLY IN RESTAURANTS.
January 19, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
the super pill will help you!

August 20, 2004
Spamusement #46: the super pill will help you! A man dangles from a branch in the sky while a smiling pill wearing a superhero cape flies toward him above the clouds.
January 18, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Losing weight impossible?

July 15, 2004
Spamusement #3: Losing weight impossible? Under a sign reading "Gym Enrollment," an extremely obese person falls backward as the chair beneath them shatters, while a receptionist looks on.
January 17, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Buff up your boner

November 10, 2004
Spamusement #129: Buff up your boner A vertical stand supporting a motorized buffer with a red polishing head at waist height.
January 16, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
WOW - How do they do that?

December 21, 2004
Spamusement #165: WOW - How do they do that? A wide-eyed chicken standing inside a clear glass bottle with a narrow neck.
January 15, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Incoming message

July 15, 2004
Spamusement #2: Incoming message A figure wearing a baseball cap looks up at a large screen that displays the text INSANE CLOWN POSSE ACTUALLY KIND OF SUCKS.
January 14, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Did you know Sprint PCS did this?

January 4, 2005
Spamusement #169: Did you know Sprint PCS did this? A smiling figure points a cell phone at another person, causing them to burst into flames and jump in panic. The text reads FIRE MESSAGING ™.
January 13, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Something i have been thinking about

June 10, 2005
Spamusement #248: Something i have been thinking about Two eels surrounded by jagged lightning bolts. Large text above reads ELECTRIC EELS and smaller text below reads honestly what's with that.
January 12, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
like flipping a switch that will allow you to get exactly what you want.

December 3, 2004
Spamusement #149: like flipping a switch that will allow you to get exactly what you want. A man in a suit flips a wall switch labeled "CUPCAKE ACCESS" located next to a small alcove displaying a single cupcake.
January 11, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Dont ignore this notice

August 1, 2005
Spamusement #268: Dont ignore this notice Two angry people wearing horse t-shirts point at a sign reading NO WOLF SHIRTS on a door that a person wearing a wolf t-shirt is opening.
January 10, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
with this miracle patch you can lose unwanted fats

February 10, 2005
Spamusement #191: with this miracle patch you can lose unwanted fats A drawn person with a patch on their arm looks unhappily at a figure with the photographic head of smiling musician Fats Domino on a sketched suit body.
January 9, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Amazing, Margaret

December 26, 2005
Spamusement #308: Amazing, Margaret A four-panel sequence features a person with long wavy hair. First, they hold up a single spoon. Next, the spoon balances on the tip of their nose. In the third frame, they hold up two additional spoons while maintaining the nose spoon. Finally, three spoons hang from the person's face: one from the nose and one from each eye.
January 8, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Got New Panties For You!!

May 18, 2005
Spamusement #241: Got New Panties For You!! A pair of panties with frilled edges and the text "ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE" written across the front.
January 7, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Your Managers Don't Have Expertise They Have This.

January 25, 2005
Spamusement #179: Your Managers Don't Have Expertise They Have This. Two hands holding a Magic 8-Ball that displays the message A WACKY TIE DAY WOULD BOOST MORALE.
January 6, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Who cares if it hurts

December 14, 2004
Spamusement #160: Who cares if it hurts A smiling man with a black eye gives a thumbs up while holding a sub sandwich. Behind him, a sign reads "FREE SUB SANDWICH WITH EVERY PUNCH IN THE FACE" while a muscular figure punches another person in the face.
January 5, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Discover how I automated my recruiting

October 10, 2005
Spamusement #294: Discover how I automated my recruiting Smiling children run eagerly toward a sunny storefront labeled Free Candy. The other side of the building reveals the business is actually a factory named Free Candy Athletic Shoes, Inc., complete with industrial smokestacks and a delivery truck.
January 4, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
this is what the big dogs do

February 4, 2005
Spamusement #187: this is what the big dogs do A giant dog lifts its hind leg as if to urinate on a small fire truck.
January 3, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Enjoy your love life as much as he does

February 1, 2005
Spamusement #184: Enjoy your love life as much as he does A shocked couple in bed looks toward the doorway where a smiling man with a mustache stands wearing a suit and a nametag that says TROY while giving two thumbs up.
January 2, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
Home is where the heart is

September 29, 2004
Spamusement #86: Home is where the heart is A person stands in an open doorway looking into a room where a massive, pulsating anatomical heart sits on the floor. A framed picture of a happy couple hangs on the wall nearby.
January 1, 2026 at 3:00 PM
spamusement.rolandcrosby.com
there is a way out

August 10, 2004
Spamusement #36: there is a way out Two people run toward a jagged crack in a cave wall to escape two large pterodactyls, one of which has a pair of human legs sticking out of its mouth.
December 31, 2025 at 3:00 PM