Snark Victory
@snark-victory.bsky.social
Just a skeleton hugging an ass.
Astrology friends: why is the entire month of June in retrograde? Is our moon in Chalmette? Did three feral raccoons align with Jupiter?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
June 29, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Astrology friends: why is the entire month of June in retrograde? Is our moon in Chalmette? Did three feral raccoons align with Jupiter?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
It's raining like a motherfucker and the only umbrella I could find was from Mardi Gras and has SALTY BITCH written on it in rhinestones. Let's just put my whole business out there on Thursday morning I guess.
May 29, 2025 at 12:47 PM
It's raining like a motherfucker and the only umbrella I could find was from Mardi Gras and has SALTY BITCH written on it in rhinestones. Let's just put my whole business out there on Thursday morning I guess.
I didn't spiral today. I just swirled gently. Like a fancy bidet.
May 29, 2025 at 1:28 AM
I didn't spiral today. I just swirled gently. Like a fancy bidet.
Two prison breaks in a week and Scrim has the chance to do the funniest thing ever.
May 24, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Two prison breaks in a week and Scrim has the chance to do the funniest thing ever.
If there was ever an argument for "better meals in prison" it's eleven men squeezing through an iron-sided cat door while flipping the police the double bird.
Chonk up your murderers, NOPD.
Chonk up your murderers, NOPD.
May 16, 2025 at 10:57 PM
If there was ever an argument for "better meals in prison" it's eleven men squeezing through an iron-sided cat door while flipping the police the double bird.
Chonk up your murderers, NOPD.
Chonk up your murderers, NOPD.
Just learned that whole chickens were banned during a papal conclave because they were seen as a potential means of concealing messages or bribes.
Fuck texting, I'm gonna start shoving notes up inside of Costco Rotisseries and throwing them through y'all's windows.
Fuck texting, I'm gonna start shoving notes up inside of Costco Rotisseries and throwing them through y'all's windows.
May 9, 2025 at 7:48 PM
Just learned that whole chickens were banned during a papal conclave because they were seen as a potential means of concealing messages or bribes.
Fuck texting, I'm gonna start shoving notes up inside of Costco Rotisseries and throwing them through y'all's windows.
Fuck texting, I'm gonna start shoving notes up inside of Costco Rotisseries and throwing them through y'all's windows.
Overheard in the locker room: "Girl, I saw two cockroaches in the bathroom having sex, and they're doing better than I am."
It's bleak out here y'all.
It's bleak out here y'all.
April 23, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Overheard in the locker room: "Girl, I saw two cockroaches in the bathroom having sex, and they're doing better than I am."
It's bleak out here y'all.
It's bleak out here y'all.
Oh hi, shit, I forgot that I had one of these.
Anyway while I'm here:
2025, none of this has been very fucking cash money of you.
Anyway while I'm here:
2025, none of this has been very fucking cash money of you.
April 3, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Oh hi, shit, I forgot that I had one of these.
Anyway while I'm here:
2025, none of this has been very fucking cash money of you.
Anyway while I'm here:
2025, none of this has been very fucking cash money of you.
Today a friend offered to drive us around aimlessly so we could both scream in the car and I think that's where a lot of us are emotionally right now.
February 5, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Today a friend offered to drive us around aimlessly so we could both scream in the car and I think that's where a lot of us are emotionally right now.
My running joke on every road trip:
"I may be a New Orleans 7 but damned if I'm not a Truck Stop 10."
"I may be a New Orleans 7 but damned if I'm not a Truck Stop 10."
January 31, 2025 at 2:09 PM
My running joke on every road trip:
"I may be a New Orleans 7 but damned if I'm not a Truck Stop 10."
"I may be a New Orleans 7 but damned if I'm not a Truck Stop 10."
If every day is a gift I would like to return the last thirty for store credit and a gallon of mezcal.
January 31, 2025 at 12:41 AM
If every day is a gift I would like to return the last thirty for store credit and a gallon of mezcal.
The realization that me fussing at my cat in the morning sounds like I'm raging against the current political climate:
- "Why are you so orange"
- "I don't understand where your brain cell has gone"
- "You absolute utter menace to society"
- "Jesus Christ who RAISED YOU"
- "Why are you so orange"
- "I don't understand where your brain cell has gone"
- "You absolute utter menace to society"
- "Jesus Christ who RAISED YOU"
January 30, 2025 at 4:02 PM
The realization that me fussing at my cat in the morning sounds like I'm raging against the current political climate:
- "Why are you so orange"
- "I don't understand where your brain cell has gone"
- "You absolute utter menace to society"
- "Jesus Christ who RAISED YOU"
- "Why are you so orange"
- "I don't understand where your brain cell has gone"
- "You absolute utter menace to society"
- "Jesus Christ who RAISED YOU"
Someone please tell me what the nine to five equivalent of Throwing A Tantrum In The Walk In is because I'm having a lot of big feelings right now.
January 29, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Someone please tell me what the nine to five equivalent of Throwing A Tantrum In The Walk In is because I'm having a lot of big feelings right now.
Minding your business is free and can help alleviate headaches, fine lines and wrinkles. Doctors hate this one trick!
January 27, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Minding your business is free and can help alleviate headaches, fine lines and wrinkles. Doctors hate this one trick!
There's nothing sillier than someone bare-ass naked except for a pair of socks but my cat likes to lick toes like they're going out of style so you see my fucking dilemma.
January 27, 2025 at 2:48 PM
There's nothing sillier than someone bare-ass naked except for a pair of socks but my cat likes to lick toes like they're going out of style so you see my fucking dilemma.
New Orleans post-snowpocalypse looks like the aftermath of a party in a college comedy where the entire front yard is trashed and there's inexplicably two goats in the bathtub.
January 25, 2025 at 5:14 PM
New Orleans post-snowpocalypse looks like the aftermath of a party in a college comedy where the entire front yard is trashed and there's inexplicably two goats in the bathtub.
Hi yo kids. Hide yo Benadryl.
January 24, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Hi yo kids. Hide yo Benadryl.
Also listen, I was kind of skeptical about this but so far in my discovery feed I've seen three cute cats, two raccoons playing with bubbles and a really raunchy dick joke so I think I'm gonna be just fine.
January 24, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Also listen, I was kind of skeptical about this but so far in my discovery feed I've seen three cute cats, two raccoons playing with bubbles and a really raunchy dick joke so I think I'm gonna be just fine.
And the next thing you know you wake up after a night of Rex Goliath and a weed gummy and you've just written "BUT WHAT IF CHEESE" on four of the pages and drawn a mouse giving you the finger.
Disclaimer: This example is very specific for no reason and has absolutely not happened to me ever.
Disclaimer: This example is very specific for no reason and has absolutely not happened to me ever.
January 24, 2025 at 7:01 PM
And the next thing you know you wake up after a night of Rex Goliath and a weed gummy and you've just written "BUT WHAT IF CHEESE" on four of the pages and drawn a mouse giving you the finger.
Disclaimer: This example is very specific for no reason and has absolutely not happened to me ever.
Disclaimer: This example is very specific for no reason and has absolutely not happened to me ever.
And you're like "THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT" and you buy overpriced colored markers and draw one of those bullet journal mood trackers and swear you're going to MINDFULLY JOURNAL every night even though you're not really sure what that means.
January 24, 2025 at 6:59 PM
And you're like "THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT" and you buy overpriced colored markers and draw one of those bullet journal mood trackers and swear you're going to MINDFULLY JOURNAL every night even though you're not really sure what that means.
Oh god the pressure. Every time I get a new social media account it's like the shiny new notebook that your squirrel brain picks up at the store when you already have ten other shiny new notebooks at home that you've written in three times and then abandoned underneath a pile of old bras.
January 24, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Oh god the pressure. Every time I get a new social media account it's like the shiny new notebook that your squirrel brain picks up at the store when you already have ten other shiny new notebooks at home that you've written in three times and then abandoned underneath a pile of old bras.