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snailforkery.bsky.social
snailforkery | trust no one ☠️
@snailforkery.bsky.social
930 followers 1.4K following 520 posts
I'm here for gay pirates and bisexual lighting.
Still screaming about Izzy Hands. 🦄
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snailforkery.bsky.social
ngl, I miss Mary Allamby Bonnet every single day
#ofmd
A screenshot of Mary Bonnet in S1E10. She is shot from above and is lying smack in the middle of a double bed as if she owns the damn thing, which she in fact does. Bright rays of sunlight illuminate the creamy sheets and golden brocade coverlet as well as the opportunities now present in her sudden yet long overdue widowhood. She reaches both arms above her head in a morning stretch. Her eyes are closed and she smiles serenely. She is absolutely not thinking about Stede Bonnet.
October 3, 2025 at 11:54 PM
snailforkery.bsky.social
#ofmd
Izzy Hands standing in a rowboat. The camera is aimed down at him as he looks up over the rail of the ship. He has an angry, snarly expression and is gesticulating with his black-gloved hand. He's wearing black leather pants, a black leather waistcoat, a black shirt, black tie, etc., you know the drill. He is about to be bonked on the head with a sandwich. Social media text pasted over the image reads "I see no reason why I can't be both the love interest and the antagonist."
August 26, 2025 at 5:57 PM
snailforkery.bsky.social
Thinking today about the show Wrecked, which has many merits
Rhys Darby as Steve Rutherford in Wrecked. He is shot at a Dutch angle as he stands with his back pressed against a white stucco wall. He wears the remains of a cruise ship captain's dress white uniform, which is now just a pair of grubby white trousers and belt and a once-white sleeveless tank top that is doing nothing at all to disguise the fact that he's been doing some significant upper body work at the gym lately. He's rocking the mustache that forever altered my preferences on men's facial hair, and his hair is swept back in a coif that is rather stylish considering his circumstances. He is a bit sunburnt and sweaty and covered in just enough smudges of dirt to look adventurous instead of untidy. He is looking off to one side with an expression of concern, exhaustion, and imminent adrenaline crash and seems quite unaware that this is the hottest photo that will ever be taken of him.
August 10, 2025 at 12:19 AM
snailforkery.bsky.social
Post a meme made by you

I fear I will never beat this one for sheer inappropriateness of timing: I posted it just hours after the S2 finale aired.
#ofmd
A version of the Grant Gustin Next to Oliver Queen's Grave meme. Taika Waititi is dressed as Ed Teach in his dirty-ass orphan outfit from S2. He is mugging for the camera and throwing a peace sign. He is crouching in front of a fresh grave, and the legend on the head stone reads: Izzy Hands, 1701-1717, Beloved wife & first mate, chanteuse, unicorn, and absolute twat.
August 8, 2025 at 1:13 AM
snailforkery.bsky.social
That suit made me have thoughts as well
A shot of Rhys Darby as Stede Bonnet. He is wearing an ornate suit of turquoise silk with a white lace jabot and cuffs. The photo shows his midsection as he stands on deck with his hands on his hips. A shot of Rhys Darby as Stede Bonnet during the fishing boat raid. The photo is a shot of him from the thigh down, showing the long ornate tail of his turquoise silk frock coat and his matching breeches with golden buckle. He wears white stockings and black, red-heeled shoes with large white bows. LIGS
August 7, 2025 at 3:00 AM
snailforkery.bsky.social
Stede Bonnet
An online retail photo of a black tshirt. The design on front is a cartoony drawing of a bright pink and yellow moth with the text “Just a Girl Who Loves Rosy Maple Moths.”
August 7, 2025 at 1:12 AM
snailforkery.bsky.social
My face when I remember that Ra Vincent built a whole-ass secret staircase underneath the bed in Stede's cabin and we never got to see it at all
Joel Fry dressed as Frenchie in the Calypso's Birthday episode. He wears a colorful brocade vest and a crown of purply-pink flowers. More flowers and hand-sewn decorative flags are in the background. He is looking directly into the camera with a blank, unamused expression.
July 31, 2025 at 6:08 AM
snailforkery.bsky.social
Thank you! It was literally my favorite part of my Stede cosplay!
My Stede cosplay from ECCC 2022. I am wearing a pink velvet breakup robe, a white shirt with ruffled sleeves, purple breeches, white stockings, and black shoes with large white satin bows. My blonde curly wig is pretty mid, but hey, someone spent half their budget on pink velvet fabric. I am wearing Ed's red silk as a hair ornament. I am holding a very excellent reproduction of the plant from the fishing boat raid: a rather rangey-looking faux fern in a weathered copper cup.
July 30, 2025 at 10:52 PM
snailforkery.bsky.social
I'm very fond of this OFMD altar I made at 2 am one night in the corner of my dining room in response to a full moon manifesting prompt.

I will also be eternally grateful to this insane (/pos) show for inspiring me to finally get off my ass and write something:

archiveofourown.org/works/60552094
An OFMD altar consisting of a bunch of fandom objects arranged on a wooden desk, with a swath of pink velvet breakup robe fabric as a backdrop. A square jewelry box is at center with pearls and chains spilling out of it and a silver compass at its front edge. On top of it is a replica of the plant from the fishing boat raid, a little Lego Izzy Hands, and two votive candles. Arranged around it are a plush seagull, a cosplay version of Stede's treasure hunt hat (with rosy maple moth on it), a black leather glove, a dish of marmalade beside a plate of toast with a bite taken out of one piece (that was me), a felt octopus ornament, an antique atlas, a brass spyglass, a narrow black cravat, a small wooden desk globe, a stand of antique books, and a red silk handkerchief. There are lit candles in brass holders on either side of the jewelry box. Behind it is a large black hand fan emblazoned with the words FUCK OFF.
July 30, 2025 at 10:04 PM
snailforkery.bsky.social
These are all near my desk in my home office and I will never tire of looking at them. 💜

Snake snacks standee by @feriowind.bsky.social

The iconic Soft Here Too print by Cache (@obiewolf)
www.inprnt.com/gallery/cach...

The Chain foot touch print by Ashokanspring
www.etsy.com/listing/1195...
And acrylic standee of Stede, Ed, and Lucius during the snake snacks scene in S1E7. Art by the amazing @feriowind. A color print of a drawing by Cache (@obiewolf). We see Stede's and Ed's hands from the wrist up. Ed's hand is extended out palm upward; his tattoos are visible. Stede's hand, wearing two gold rings and adorned with a lacey cuff and the edge of the turquoise frock coat sleeve, is touching the center of Ed's hand with two fingers, pushing back his black leather glove to reveal his palm. A framed print of the OFMD foot touch scene from E1S8 by Ashokanspring. It is a top-down view of Ed and Stede face down on the deck of the Revenge, their hands bound behind their backs. Chauncey Badminton stands just to the left of Ed. Ed is in his black leathers and Stede is wearing his turquoise silk suit. They are looking directly into one another's eyes. Ed is reaching out with one leg to touch Stede's foot. Lindsey Buckingham is about to kick into his outro guitar solo.
July 30, 2025 at 7:16 PM
snailforkery.bsky.social
Hey #OFMD sad fans,
If you look at the auction items, very few of them would even be used in a subsequent season or film. And besides, costumers & propmakers are freakin' wizards who can recreate anything flawlessly (and there are often costume duplicates in the first place).

CLOWN ON, SLUTS
A shot from OFMD Season 1 in which the crew of the Revenge is attacking Badminton and the British soldiers in the dining room. Lucius clutches the seat of a wooden chair and screams into the void as all hell breaks loose behind him. Meme caption text at the top of the shot reads "MOOD."
July 29, 2025 at 3:14 AM
snailforkery.bsky.social
Tell me where you are mentally, stuff from your camera roll only
A watercolor illustration of a cream-colored bunny standing on its hind legs in a field. It has those big dark cutesy-wutesy eyes and a rather blank expression. It is holding a walkie-talkie. A speech bubble over its head reads "WTF, over."
July 28, 2025 at 9:34 PM
snailforkery.bsky.social
A shot of Kyle MacLachlan as Agent Cooper from Twin Peaks: The Return. He is wearing a plain black suit and tie and is standing in the middle of an empty residential street. He is facing the camera with a wide-eyed look of shock on his face. The captioning text reads "What year is this?"
July 27, 2025 at 11:55 PM
snailforkery.bsky.social
I also second looking at 3D print file listings like this one
An Etsy listing of 3D print files for Ed's knife from OFMD. A silver dagger with black leather-wrapped handle is shown.
July 27, 2025 at 11:33 PM
snailforkery.bsky.social
Here's the best screenshot I've got of it
Ed Teach putting some "oomph" into his interrogation of the French captain. The captain is tied to a mast and Ed is staring menacingly at him from mere inches away. Ed's knife is sticking out of the mast in the foreground. Photo by Aaron Epstein.
July 27, 2025 at 11:31 PM
snailforkery.bsky.social
My Fantastic Four
#OFMD
A BTS selfie shot of Garlic Soup: Samson Kayo, Ruibo Qian, Madeline Sami, and Vico Ortiz. They are all looking into the camera and making slightly silly faces; Mads is throwing a peace sign.
July 22, 2025 at 5:56 AM
snailforkery.bsky.social
Ed Teach sitting cross-legged on the floor of Stede's cabin. He is shirtless and facing away from the camera, showing the tattoo on his back: a large skull with a snake winding around and through it and the words TRUST NO ONE beneath.
July 21, 2025 at 5:35 AM
snailforkery.bsky.social
Stede Bonnet sitting at the dining table in his home. He holds an open book in his hands but is staring up into the middle distance with a look of resigned defeat. Text superimposed on the picture reads "Well, fuck".
July 19, 2025 at 8:19 PM
snailforkery.bsky.social
We are not discussing this to the extent it deserves
#SNW #StrangeNewWorlds
July 19, 2025 at 1:51 AM
snailforkery.bsky.social
Some would argue that that goal was already reached in the early hours of S1
A closeup of Stede Bonnet's right leg during the fishing boat raid in S1. He wears the turquoise silk suit that has risen to legendary status in my personal pantheon of fictional character clothing. As he steps into the boat, his knee is bent and the tail of the frock coat is sweeping down across his calf, the ribbon festoons grazing the back of his ankle and the back of his red-heeled shoe. Just above the creamy expanse of silk stocking, an ornate golden buckle gleams like the fanciful dreams of adventure and romance that dance through this beautiful fool's head and make me love him to distraction.
May 31, 2025 at 7:05 PM
snailforkery.bsky.social
are you sure, asking for a friend
Lucius Spriggs standing on a beach. He wears his fringed red jacket, striped shirt, and that kicky little scarf. His hands are on his hips and he is looking into the camera with a look of disdain and/or annoyance. (This is a BTS shot so the attitude is actually coming from Nathan, but the end result is the same. )
May 29, 2025 at 2:29 PM
snailforkery.bsky.social
This was a complete dick move. Talkin' to you, Tim Minear.
#911onABC #BobbyNash #wtf
A shot from 911 of Bobby Nash's fire helmet sitting in the shadows of the wrecked lab where some absolute narrative bullshit just went down.
April 20, 2025 at 3:20 AM
snailforkery.bsky.social
thank you for that image, it's lovely and I am thinking about it right now
A shot of Margot Robbie in the Barbie movie. She is wearing a pastel plaid mini dress and is lying motionless on a plastic lawn, the matching hat sitting on the grass behind her. Her face is expressionless in that Error 404 sort of way.
April 6, 2025 at 2:42 AM
snailforkery.bsky.social
51 human years?
Happy birthday to @rhysiedarby.bsky.social, the guy who rocked my favorite suit ever and who brought me comedy, tragedy, community, and an absolute boatload of talent that I will admire forever. ☠️❤️☠️
#OFMD
Rhys Darby as Stede Bonnet in Our Flag Means Death, the smash hit tragicomic love story that rewired my brain. He is standing on the deck of the Revenge in his turquoise silk suit, his arms spread wide as he addresses his crew. He looks overzealous and clearly has no idea how to be a pirate, but he is framed beautifully by the ship's double deck staircases and the lighting is really nice.
March 21, 2025 at 12:26 AM
snailforkery.bsky.social
OFMD promo: Rhys Darby as a pirate!
Me watching Rhys Darby as a pirate: Oh... OH. [explosions, sirens, life choice reassessments]

Seriously, I was ride or die for this guy by the time he reached the bottom of the staircase.

#OFMD #OurFlagMeansDeath
Rhys Darby as Stede Bonnet in S1E1 of Our Flag Means Death. He is walking down the deck staircase of the Revenge during his opening speech. He is wearing his turquoise silk suit with lace jabot and sleeves, and director Taika Waititi has conveniently arranged for a rainbow lens flare to happen right beside his head.
March 4, 2025 at 1:28 AM