A lot of things made want to rage puke today, but none more than my co-worker's aggrieved martyr complex 🙄🙄🤢🤮

(after swallowing one load from FWB and wanting more)
Me: Would you like to turn over?
Him: ... Well I haven't showered...
Me: ... Would you like to turn over?
Him: (flips ass up so fast)
Me: NOM NOM NOM
👅🍑🐽

Thanksgiving through New Year’s should just be a 35 day weekend

I love it when racists self- identify right in their profiles -- such a time saver for a quick block and move-along!

When your relatives start arguing at Thanksgiving, calmly grab your favorite serving bowl of food like you're going to the kitchen to refill it, and just don't come back. Quietly escape with your favorite food.

This has been survival tips with Jen.

How do we convince all our favorite BL actors to join bluesky, so we can delete the tweeter for good? Asking for we.

It's like, why does it feel like I'm shitting the blood of a Xenomorph? And then ohhh, I had a footlong pizza sub from Subway today 🔥

The snow day urge to do absolutely nothing but cuddle with the cat and watch soap operas is real

Future selfie after a night in my apartment's extreme steam heat

When your work coffee meeting is with a guy so beautiful and hot and it's all you can do to try to pay attention and articulate your thoughts instead of confessing your love like in a BL drama 🙈😳😻

Curating my new feed to basically just be cats, comics, and gay shit, so that's nice