Secret Agent
@smort.bsky.social
I have seen the future, and I’m going back to bed.
December 11, 2025 at 7:04 PM
I don't understand why some women complain about being objectified for their breasts, and then do photo spreads showing them off. Am I missing something? I don't expect them to dress like a pilgrim, but jeez. Do you always walk in fields of flowers like that?
www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/ar...
www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/ar...
December 11, 2025 at 1:07 AM
I don't understand why some women complain about being objectified for their breasts, and then do photo spreads showing them off. Am I missing something? I don't expect them to dress like a pilgrim, but jeez. Do you always walk in fields of flowers like that?
www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/ar...
www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/ar...
What they should have done with Jimmy Kimmel . . .
Publically, nothing. Just stay quiet. No announcements, no press release, nothing.
Privately: Pull Jimmy aside and say "Don't say that kind of stuff again."
That's it.
Publically, nothing. Just stay quiet. No announcements, no press release, nothing.
Privately: Pull Jimmy aside and say "Don't say that kind of stuff again."
That's it.
September 19, 2025 at 12:57 AM
What they should have done with Jimmy Kimmel . . .
Publically, nothing. Just stay quiet. No announcements, no press release, nothing.
Privately: Pull Jimmy aside and say "Don't say that kind of stuff again."
That's it.
Publically, nothing. Just stay quiet. No announcements, no press release, nothing.
Privately: Pull Jimmy aside and say "Don't say that kind of stuff again."
That's it.
August 24, 2025 at 6:10 PM
August 16, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Putin: "Hey! Did you do it?"
Trump, thinking: Hhm. That's not vodka.
Trump, thinking: Hhm. That's not vodka.
August 16, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Putin: "Hey! Did you do it?"
Trump, thinking: Hhm. That's not vodka.
Trump, thinking: Hhm. That's not vodka.
Why are so many TV shows based on haunted novelists who try to come to terms with their past, only to have it go sideways? Doesn’t every writer wish their life was that crazy just to have something to write?
(Asking for a friend.)
(Asking for a friend.)
August 2, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Why are so many TV shows based on haunted novelists who try to come to terms with their past, only to have it go sideways? Doesn’t every writer wish their life was that crazy just to have something to write?
(Asking for a friend.)
(Asking for a friend.)
I asked ChatGPT to create a professional photo of me, and it . . . sort of looks like me. But, no, it’s not me. The nose is off and the skin is too pasty.
July 31, 2025 at 11:07 PM
I asked ChatGPT to create a professional photo of me, and it . . . sort of looks like me. But, no, it’s not me. The nose is off and the skin is too pasty.
The thermometer says it’s 79.3 degrees.
Should I turn the air on?
Naw. I’ll just blow on myself since I’m so cool.
Okay, that sounds . . . bad. Nevermind.
Should I turn the air on?
Naw. I’ll just blow on myself since I’m so cool.
Okay, that sounds . . . bad. Nevermind.
July 31, 2025 at 10:20 PM
The thermometer says it’s 79.3 degrees.
Should I turn the air on?
Naw. I’ll just blow on myself since I’m so cool.
Okay, that sounds . . . bad. Nevermind.
Should I turn the air on?
Naw. I’ll just blow on myself since I’m so cool.
Okay, that sounds . . . bad. Nevermind.
I’m not in Los Angeles. But you already knew that.
May 5, 2025 at 7:44 PM
I’m not in Los Angeles. But you already knew that.
It just seems weird that an immigrant is complaining about immigrants.
February 8, 2025 at 5:48 PM
It just seems weird that an immigrant is complaining about immigrants.
"Trump seizes on Los Angeles infernos to reopen his feud with Newsom"
Instead of sharing thoughts on the impact of the fires, offering aid to those affected, or giving condolences to those who lost their lives, Trump only offers petty, sad, and empty grievances about the California governor.
Instead of sharing thoughts on the impact of the fires, offering aid to those affected, or giving condolences to those who lost their lives, Trump only offers petty, sad, and empty grievances about the California governor.
January 9, 2025 at 3:19 PM
"Trump seizes on Los Angeles infernos to reopen his feud with Newsom"
Instead of sharing thoughts on the impact of the fires, offering aid to those affected, or giving condolences to those who lost their lives, Trump only offers petty, sad, and empty grievances about the California governor.
Instead of sharing thoughts on the impact of the fires, offering aid to those affected, or giving condolences to those who lost their lives, Trump only offers petty, sad, and empty grievances about the California governor.
My cable company forgot my name, so now I am "null".
December 6, 2024 at 5:01 PM
My cable company forgot my name, so now I am "null".
August 19, 2024 at 3:12 PM
Some people think all people are the same. It's a relief that some people are thoughtful and not rude.
August 19, 2024 at 12:11 AM
Some people think all people are the same. It's a relief that some people are thoughtful and not rude.
I don't charge enough, obviously.
June 30, 2024 at 4:06 AM
I don't charge enough, obviously.
RIP Martin Mull, who wasn't dull.
Sorry, Martin, but that's the best I can do at the moment.
Sorry, Martin, but that's the best I can do at the moment.
June 30, 2024 at 3:44 AM
RIP Martin Mull, who wasn't dull.
Sorry, Martin, but that's the best I can do at the moment.
Sorry, Martin, but that's the best I can do at the moment.
This is one of the weirdest pictures I've seen. Obviously a stock photo, the photographer, publisher and "actress" are either trying too hard or not hard enough. The woman is pretty, happy, and, apparently, hungry. She's also creepy, unnatural, and bizarre.
I feel sorry for the sushi.
I feel sorry for the sushi.
April 10, 2024 at 3:26 AM
This is one of the weirdest pictures I've seen. Obviously a stock photo, the photographer, publisher and "actress" are either trying too hard or not hard enough. The woman is pretty, happy, and, apparently, hungry. She's also creepy, unnatural, and bizarre.
I feel sorry for the sushi.
I feel sorry for the sushi.