Secret Agent
@smort.bsky.social
I have seen the future, and I’m going back to bed.
The Game in the Pines
Some try to go back. But there’s no way back.
open.substack.com
December 14, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Reposted by Secret Agent
December 11, 2025 at 7:04 PM
December 11, 2025 at 7:04 PM
I don't understand why some women complain about being objectified for their breasts, and then do photo spreads showing them off. Am I missing something? I don't expect them to dress like a pilgrim, but jeez. Do you always walk in fields of flowers like that?
www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/ar...
www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/ar...
December 11, 2025 at 1:07 AM
I don't understand why some women complain about being objectified for their breasts, and then do photo spreads showing them off. Am I missing something? I don't expect them to dress like a pilgrim, but jeez. Do you always walk in fields of flowers like that?
www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/ar...
www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/ar...
On the CNN Front Page: "Did Eric Adams sell fake chains on Canal Street? Comedians try to guess." www.cnn.com/2025/11/01/p...
Um . . . what? I'm from California -- who is Eric Adams? Who cares if he sold . . . whatever? And should I care what the hell comedians have to guess about it? Geez.
Um . . . what? I'm from California -- who is Eric Adams? Who cares if he sold . . . whatever? And should I care what the hell comedians have to guess about it? Geez.
Did Eric Adams sell fake chains on Canal Street? Comedians try to guess | CNN Politics
Did the Mayor of New York City Eric Adams sell fake chains on Canal Street, accidentally spend the night in the Central Park Zoo or return a car because it was “haunted?” Comedians on “Have I Got News...
www.cnn.com
November 2, 2025 at 1:57 AM
On the CNN Front Page: "Did Eric Adams sell fake chains on Canal Street? Comedians try to guess." www.cnn.com/2025/11/01/p...
Um . . . what? I'm from California -- who is Eric Adams? Who cares if he sold . . . whatever? And should I care what the hell comedians have to guess about it? Geez.
Um . . . what? I'm from California -- who is Eric Adams? Who cares if he sold . . . whatever? And should I care what the hell comedians have to guess about it? Geez.
What they should have done with Jimmy Kimmel . . .
Publically, nothing. Just stay quiet. No announcements, no press release, nothing.
Privately: Pull Jimmy aside and say "Don't say that kind of stuff again."
That's it.
Publically, nothing. Just stay quiet. No announcements, no press release, nothing.
Privately: Pull Jimmy aside and say "Don't say that kind of stuff again."
That's it.
September 19, 2025 at 12:57 AM
What they should have done with Jimmy Kimmel . . .
Publically, nothing. Just stay quiet. No announcements, no press release, nothing.
Privately: Pull Jimmy aside and say "Don't say that kind of stuff again."
That's it.
Publically, nothing. Just stay quiet. No announcements, no press release, nothing.
Privately: Pull Jimmy aside and say "Don't say that kind of stuff again."
That's it.
August 24, 2025 at 6:10 PM
August 16, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Putin: "Hey! Did you do it?"
Trump, thinking: Hhm. That's not vodka.
Trump, thinking: Hhm. That's not vodka.
August 16, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Putin: "Hey! Did you do it?"
Trump, thinking: Hhm. That's not vodka.
Trump, thinking: Hhm. That's not vodka.
The Archivist
secretagentman.net/2025/07/03/t...
secretagentman.net/2025/07/03/t...
The Archivist
In the sub-basement of an old government building long since condemned, beneath rusted pipes and forgotten cables, there is a room that does not appear on any blueprint. Its door is steel, unmarked…
secretagentman.net
August 9, 2025 at 7:53 PM
The Archivist
secretagentman.net/2025/07/03/t...
secretagentman.net/2025/07/03/t...
Let's Play A Game secretagentman.net/2025/08/02/l...
Let’s Play A Game
The Challenge:Write a scene where your protagonist makes a shocking discovery that changes everything they thought they knew. This moment should serve as a turning point that reframes their entire …
secretagentman.net
August 2, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Let's Play A Game secretagentman.net/2025/08/02/l...
Why are so many TV shows based on haunted novelists who try to come to terms with their past, only to have it go sideways? Doesn’t every writer wish their life was that crazy just to have something to write?
(Asking for a friend.)
(Asking for a friend.)
August 2, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Why are so many TV shows based on haunted novelists who try to come to terms with their past, only to have it go sideways? Doesn’t every writer wish their life was that crazy just to have something to write?
(Asking for a friend.)
(Asking for a friend.)
I asked ChatGPT to create a professional photo of me, and it . . . sort of looks like me. But, no, it’s not me. The nose is off and the skin is too pasty.
July 31, 2025 at 11:07 PM
I asked ChatGPT to create a professional photo of me, and it . . . sort of looks like me. But, no, it’s not me. The nose is off and the skin is too pasty.
The thermometer says it’s 79.3 degrees.
Should I turn the air on?
Naw. I’ll just blow on myself since I’m so cool.
Okay, that sounds . . . bad. Nevermind.
Should I turn the air on?
Naw. I’ll just blow on myself since I’m so cool.
Okay, that sounds . . . bad. Nevermind.
July 31, 2025 at 10:20 PM
The thermometer says it’s 79.3 degrees.
Should I turn the air on?
Naw. I’ll just blow on myself since I’m so cool.
Okay, that sounds . . . bad. Nevermind.
Should I turn the air on?
Naw. I’ll just blow on myself since I’m so cool.
Okay, that sounds . . . bad. Nevermind.
How MapQuest Took The Wrong Path Forward . . . tedium.co/2025/05/13/m...
How MapQuest Took The Wrong Path Forward
How MapQuest, a company innovative enough to kill road atlases in one fell swoop, was turned into an also-ran by a bad merger affected by an even worse one.
tedium.co
June 2, 2025 at 9:07 PM
How MapQuest Took The Wrong Path Forward . . . tedium.co/2025/05/13/m...
Some people on here are so mean and petty, it makes me not want to use Bluesky. At all. It’s like the flip side of X/Twitter with the same level of hate, just a different direction.
It’s sad.
It’s sad.
May 19, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Some people on here are so mean and petty, it makes me not want to use Bluesky. At all. It’s like the flip side of X/Twitter with the same level of hate, just a different direction.
It’s sad.
It’s sad.
“Starvation looms as Israel's total blockade on Gaza enters its third month”
It has been a little over two months. It’s bad enough without @nbcnews.com exaggerating.
www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...
It has been a little over two months. It’s bad enough without @nbcnews.com exaggerating.
www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...
Starvation looms as Israel's total blockade on Gaza enters its third month
Thousands of children in Gaza have been admitted to hospitals for malnutrition, but even as they waste away, doctors’ options for treating them have been depleted.
www.nbcnews.com
May 5, 2025 at 9:17 PM
“Starvation looms as Israel's total blockade on Gaza enters its third month”
It has been a little over two months. It’s bad enough without @nbcnews.com exaggerating.
www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...
It has been a little over two months. It’s bad enough without @nbcnews.com exaggerating.
www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcn...
I’m not in Los Angeles. But you already knew that.
May 5, 2025 at 7:44 PM
I’m not in Los Angeles. But you already knew that.
It just seems weird that an immigrant is complaining about immigrants.
February 8, 2025 at 5:48 PM
It just seems weird that an immigrant is complaining about immigrants.
"Trump seizes on Los Angeles infernos to reopen his feud with Newsom"
Instead of sharing thoughts on the impact of the fires, offering aid to those affected, or giving condolences to those who lost their lives, Trump only offers petty, sad, and empty grievances about the California governor.
Instead of sharing thoughts on the impact of the fires, offering aid to those affected, or giving condolences to those who lost their lives, Trump only offers petty, sad, and empty grievances about the California governor.
January 9, 2025 at 3:19 PM
"Trump seizes on Los Angeles infernos to reopen his feud with Newsom"
Instead of sharing thoughts on the impact of the fires, offering aid to those affected, or giving condolences to those who lost their lives, Trump only offers petty, sad, and empty grievances about the California governor.
Instead of sharing thoughts on the impact of the fires, offering aid to those affected, or giving condolences to those who lost their lives, Trump only offers petty, sad, and empty grievances about the California governor.
I log in and find a lot of Bluesky users complaining about Twitter. Sheesh. It's like when I go on YouTube and find nothing but complaining about other creators on YouTube. It's like people obsessing over their exes.
Here's an idea: Talk about something NOT Twitter. You're welcome.
Here's an idea: Talk about something NOT Twitter. You're welcome.
December 27, 2024 at 2:31 PM
I log in and find a lot of Bluesky users complaining about Twitter. Sheesh. It's like when I go on YouTube and find nothing but complaining about other creators on YouTube. It's like people obsessing over their exes.
Here's an idea: Talk about something NOT Twitter. You're welcome.
Here's an idea: Talk about something NOT Twitter. You're welcome.
“Obesity is not a disease. It’s a side effect of different things, like unhealthy eating or whatever,” Rep. Diana Harshbarger, R-Tenn., a licensed pharmacist, told Semafor.
Diana is a pharmacist and doesn't know what obesity is?
www.semafor.com/article/12/0...
Diana is a pharmacist and doesn't know what obesity is?
www.semafor.com/article/12/0...
Government coverage of Ozempic splits Republicans | Semafor
Trump’s team will soon choose whether to continue a pricey Biden administration plan for weight-loss drugs.
www.semafor.com
December 6, 2024 at 6:44 PM
“Obesity is not a disease. It’s a side effect of different things, like unhealthy eating or whatever,” Rep. Diana Harshbarger, R-Tenn., a licensed pharmacist, told Semafor.
Diana is a pharmacist and doesn't know what obesity is?
www.semafor.com/article/12/0...
Diana is a pharmacist and doesn't know what obesity is?
www.semafor.com/article/12/0...
My cable company forgot my name, so now I am "null".
December 6, 2024 at 5:01 PM
My cable company forgot my name, so now I am "null".
August 19, 2024 at 3:12 PM
Some people think all people are the same. It's a relief that some people are thoughtful and not rude.
August 19, 2024 at 12:11 AM
Some people think all people are the same. It's a relief that some people are thoughtful and not rude.