Evan DeSimone
@smorgasboredom.bsky.social
Media writer/ennui enthusiast: Digiday, IntegralAds, Tubefilter, DCNorg
📍 NYC
📍 NYC
Now more than ever…
June 5, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Now more than ever…
If you don’t do this to me when I die, i’ll be furious.
May 30, 2025 at 5:18 PM
If you don’t do this to me when I die, i’ll be furious.
Save us Scott Bakula!
May 9, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Save us Scott Bakula!
We all laughed at him, but pollen season has me doing this five times a day.
April 30, 2025 at 9:12 PM
We all laughed at him, but pollen season has me doing this five times a day.
“Thoughts and prayers” final boss.
April 21, 2025 at 11:34 AM
“Thoughts and prayers” final boss.
This is how conservatives think about the economy.
April 19, 2025 at 1:24 PM
This is how conservatives think about the economy.
Welp, “we can’t just ignore the President’s desires.”
April 17, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Welp, “we can’t just ignore the President’s desires.”
Someday Elon is going to die, and it’s going to be funny, and people are going to say “don’t laugh! He has a family that loves him!” I think it’s very important to remember that no, in fact, he very specifically does not.
April 8, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Someday Elon is going to die, and it’s going to be funny, and people are going to say “don’t laugh! He has a family that loves him!” I think it’s very important to remember that no, in fact, he very specifically does not.
Which self exactly?
April 8, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Which self exactly?
This was a prophecy.
April 4, 2025 at 6:30 PM
This was a prophecy.
If you’re purely concerned about efficient spending then you have to let George Soros run DOGE now. Sorry.
April 2, 2025 at 4:07 PM
If you’re purely concerned about efficient spending then you have to let George Soros run DOGE now. Sorry.
New Trump policy dropped.
March 27, 2025 at 10:36 PM
New Trump policy dropped.
I want to meet one of the Americans who claims to have a very unnfavorable opinion of Hildegard of Bingen.
March 27, 2025 at 2:39 PM
I want to meet one of the Americans who claims to have a very unnfavorable opinion of Hildegard of Bingen.
Oh? You think YOU have terrible birthday twins? These are mine.
March 26, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Oh? You think YOU have terrible birthday twins? These are mine.
Just humiliating.
March 21, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Just humiliating.
This is open, unambiguous extortion.
March 20, 2025 at 11:26 PM
This is open, unambiguous extortion.
Retirement planning during a Trump presidency.
March 20, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Retirement planning during a Trump presidency.
FWIW, I still think we’re here:
March 19, 2025 at 5:07 PM
FWIW, I still think we’re here:
Mind you, I was joking at the time.
March 13, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Mind you, I was joking at the time.
We have finally defeated the woke stock market.
March 4, 2025 at 2:59 PM
We have finally defeated the woke stock market.
The idea of not being divorced is utterly alien to him.
March 4, 2025 at 2:36 PM
The idea of not being divorced is utterly alien to him.
Remember how France immediately crumbled when we unleashed the power of “Freedom Fries?” Me either.
March 3, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Remember how France immediately crumbled when we unleashed the power of “Freedom Fries?” Me either.
No money for air traffic controllers or medical research, but we must build a stockpile of useless digital Macguffins.
March 2, 2025 at 7:27 PM
No money for air traffic controllers or medical research, but we must build a stockpile of useless digital Macguffins.