Noah Smith
@smithnoah.bsky.social
Noah Smith is a writer or something.
Beat me by 20 minutes! Darn!
Great minds think alike?
Great minds think alike?
November 9, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Beat me by 20 minutes! Darn!
Great minds think alike?
Great minds think alike?
How often do you think people who are looking for a plumber in Smyrna, Georgia accidentally wind up going to “Plump Bros” dot com?
November 7, 2025 at 3:58 PM
How often do you think people who are looking for a plumber in Smyrna, Georgia accidentally wind up going to “Plump Bros” dot com?
The summer I turned 19, I played one of the thieves in a children’s theatre production of Ali Baba. In one scene where we were hiding treasure we had stolen the director wanted us to enter to the song “Shake Your Booty” and we should be literally shaking the chests full of treasure we were holding.
November 7, 2025 at 3:00 PM
The summer I turned 19, I played one of the thieves in a children’s theatre production of Ali Baba. In one scene where we were hiding treasure we had stolen the director wanted us to enter to the song “Shake Your Booty” and we should be literally shaking the chests full of treasure we were holding.
I’ve heard the show is quite good, but I cannot imagine a less appealing tagline.
November 7, 2025 at 2:35 PM
I’ve heard the show is quite good, but I cannot imagine a less appealing tagline.
All along, I was misreading Abigail Spanberger’s name as “Spangenberg” and I was hoping she might be related to this very likable Jeopardy champion I remember from the early 90s. I am … mildly disappointed.
November 7, 2025 at 12:50 PM
All along, I was misreading Abigail Spanberger’s name as “Spangenberg” and I was hoping she might be related to this very likable Jeopardy champion I remember from the early 90s. I am … mildly disappointed.
When she says “ooh, gamer,” it seems like she’s into it. But if you swiped right on a silver fox and when you met him for coffee you saw that he works at Target in his 50s (?) AND he’s a gamer…is that a GREEN flag?
Somehow the hardest thing to accept in this “Santa on a Tinder date” commercial.
Somehow the hardest thing to accept in this “Santa on a Tinder date” commercial.
November 7, 2025 at 12:05 PM
When she says “ooh, gamer,” it seems like she’s into it. But if you swiped right on a silver fox and when you met him for coffee you saw that he works at Target in his 50s (?) AND he’s a gamer…is that a GREEN flag?
Somehow the hardest thing to accept in this “Santa on a Tinder date” commercial.
Somehow the hardest thing to accept in this “Santa on a Tinder date” commercial.
Yes, advertisement, I know we are. But after Tuesday night, some of us were starting to feel like we have a chance of getting back to being the real thing… Thanks a lot.
November 6, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Yes, advertisement, I know we are. But after Tuesday night, some of us were starting to feel like we have a chance of getting back to being the real thing… Thanks a lot.
I always tend to wanna write it as “whoah” so I guess I’m some sort of renegade maverick who plays by his own rules.
November 6, 2025 at 3:49 PM
I always tend to wanna write it as “whoah” so I guess I’m some sort of renegade maverick who plays by his own rules.
Obviously these are terrible people because they love Nick Fuentes. But can we agree that a man who sees his partner put that much effort into a Marilyn costume, then calls that bullshit a JFK costume has never remembered an anniversary, cooked a meal, or seen an in-person female orgasm?
November 2, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Obviously these are terrible people because they love Nick Fuentes. But can we agree that a man who sees his partner put that much effort into a Marilyn costume, then calls that bullshit a JFK costume has never remembered an anniversary, cooked a meal, or seen an in-person female orgasm?
I hate Jay Halloween. What do you mean you’re “Beyondo”?
October 31, 2025 at 9:16 PM
I hate Jay Halloween. What do you mean you’re “Beyondo”?
I hate Gray Halloween. What do you mean you’re a slutty Area 51 alien?
October 31, 2025 at 6:09 PM
I hate Gray Halloween. What do you mean you’re a slutty Area 51 alien?
I may have been conflating it with this movie starring a pre-Dead Poets Society Robert Sean Leonard.
October 31, 2025 at 3:58 PM
I may have been conflating it with this movie starring a pre-Dead Poets Society Robert Sean Leonard.
I considered this, but the look is clearly based on Dracula.
I guess Lauren Hutton’s look in Once Bitten is also Dracula-adjacent and her character is called “The Countess.”
I thought Jim Carrey turns into a vampire in that, but according to Wikipedia, he never completes the transformation.
I guess Lauren Hutton’s look in Once Bitten is also Dracula-adjacent and her character is called “The Countess.”
I thought Jim Carrey turns into a vampire in that, but according to Wikipedia, he never completes the transformation.
October 31, 2025 at 3:56 PM
I considered this, but the look is clearly based on Dracula.
I guess Lauren Hutton’s look in Once Bitten is also Dracula-adjacent and her character is called “The Countess.”
I thought Jim Carrey turns into a vampire in that, but according to Wikipedia, he never completes the transformation.
I guess Lauren Hutton’s look in Once Bitten is also Dracula-adjacent and her character is called “The Countess.”
I thought Jim Carrey turns into a vampire in that, but according to Wikipedia, he never completes the transformation.
If you see this, post a vampire that isn’t Dracula
October 31, 2025 at 3:51 PM
If you see this, post a vampire that isn’t Dracula
If you see this, quote with a robot that isn’t from “Star Wars,” “Star Trek,” “Doctor Who,” or “Transformers.”
October 31, 2025 at 10:19 AM
If you see this, quote with a robot that isn’t from “Star Wars,” “Star Trek,” “Doctor Who,” or “Transformers.”
How else would they get candy corn? It’s a quarter of their diet!
October 30, 2025 at 5:51 PM
How else would they get candy corn? It’s a quarter of their diet!
They’re good dogs, Brent.
October 26, 2025 at 9:28 PM
They’re good dogs, Brent.
Chlorophyll Kid from DC’s Legion of Substitute Heroes is considered a joke and a loser because his power is making plants grow super fast.
He could travel from planet to planet ending famine and saving ecosystems.
He’s potentially the greatest hero in the universe.
He could travel from planet to planet ending famine and saving ecosystems.
He’s potentially the greatest hero in the universe.
October 26, 2025 at 11:55 AM
Chlorophyll Kid from DC’s Legion of Substitute Heroes is considered a joke and a loser because his power is making plants grow super fast.
He could travel from planet to planet ending famine and saving ecosystems.
He’s potentially the greatest hero in the universe.
He could travel from planet to planet ending famine and saving ecosystems.
He’s potentially the greatest hero in the universe.
I was 17 when I wrote that sitcom sketch and I still think it’s kind of fun absurdity to think Whack’s regular-dad sitcom character still had this ridiculous first name.
Today I learned that Bing Crosby had a sitcom in the 60s where he played suburban dad “Bing Collins.”
Today I learned that Bing Crosby had a sitcom in the 60s where he played suburban dad “Bing Collins.”
October 21, 2025 at 1:02 PM
I was 17 when I wrote that sitcom sketch and I still think it’s kind of fun absurdity to think Whack’s regular-dad sitcom character still had this ridiculous first name.
Today I learned that Bing Crosby had a sitcom in the 60s where he played suburban dad “Bing Collins.”
Today I learned that Bing Crosby had a sitcom in the 60s where he played suburban dad “Bing Collins.”
Who robbed the Louvre? Right answers only.
October 20, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Who robbed the Louvre? Right answers only.
I think I saw the pilot for the show Blue Bloods many years ago and thought it was amusing that prominent Bostonian Donnie Wahlberg was playing an NYPD cop. Apparently now he has a spin off where he’s the same character but now he’s in Boston?
It’s a snake eating its own tail!
A copoboros!
It’s a snake eating its own tail!
A copoboros!
October 17, 2025 at 12:51 PM
I think I saw the pilot for the show Blue Bloods many years ago and thought it was amusing that prominent Bostonian Donnie Wahlberg was playing an NYPD cop. Apparently now he has a spin off where he’s the same character but now he’s in Boston?
It’s a snake eating its own tail!
A copoboros!
It’s a snake eating its own tail!
A copoboros!
Halloween is a great way to make people my age feel out of touch. I saw a kid wearing this costume and asked my own kids what it was, they said it was Huggy Wuggy from Poppy Playtime. Of course they could’ve said “That’s Bunco Spelunko from Melvyn’s Menagerie” and it would have meant just as much.
October 14, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Halloween is a great way to make people my age feel out of touch. I saw a kid wearing this costume and asked my own kids what it was, they said it was Huggy Wuggy from Poppy Playtime. Of course they could’ve said “That’s Bunco Spelunko from Melvyn’s Menagerie” and it would have meant just as much.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I have not read Garfield regularly since I was a child. I know Jim Davis is from Indiana, but is it the first time it’s ever been confirmed that Garfield lives in Muncie? This feels like a major lore drop for a 47-year-old property.
September 23, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I have not read Garfield regularly since I was a child. I know Jim Davis is from Indiana, but is it the first time it’s ever been confirmed that Garfield lives in Muncie? This feels like a major lore drop for a 47-year-old property.
My fifth grader has a first grade “buddy” who possesses a clarity about what he likes in life that I truly admire.
September 19, 2025 at 7:25 PM
My fifth grader has a first grade “buddy” who possesses a clarity about what he likes in life that I truly admire.