AND! As a FREQUENT PATRON of this establishment, I know everything about everything on this menu! Your meal will TRIPLY SAFE in BERDLY'S HANDS AND in double the time!

It should be me.

B-BUT only because I'm in their rewards program and I NEED the points for the next item.

[Whatever signal he tried to send has effectively been cut. No time to ponder why! Back to the matter at hand]

Ah, the age old question. Who will take the first step to glory. . .

WH- K- KRIS!! Can't you see that I'm sending SIGNALS right now?!! Don't break my concentration! MAYBE-

Er. . . just... just focus on the mission!

Unless...

I'm taking my grape-flavored elixir as we speak. By next sunday, I will be in PEAK condition, and we WILL make it.

A ganer never quits!

Listen, had life decided to not debuff me, I DEFINITELY would have clutched.

And by I, of course, I mean we,

but I mostly mean I. It HAD to be the cold.

I CANNOT imagine it being ANYTHING else, Kris. This MUST be the ONLY reason!

Figures! I must've been getting TOO powerful.

> It's fine! It was just a... a BAD seed after all

> Like bird seed that was left out in the sun for a week

> we ARE gamers and this HICCUP doesn't prove anything

> we will make this

> TOGETHER

> Next time ill actually bring the canon

> maybe that was the key to soar us to victory

*Going through his mind palace for a totally normal and not loathing response*

Like a bitter cliffhanger that you know you won't see the conclusion to for at LEAST a year.

I don't know if I can let it sit like this! The gamer in me is squawking, Kris!

Kris...

[Did they mean that, truly? He had it! He had it and he lost it! He was going to clutch! They both had all the tools and he squandered it! But... the journey...]

.... And you fought the scoutmaster and LIVED. Not even I can say I had that. But still... this stings. Like a hive of bees.

> Aha worry not!

> Me and the librarby APPEAR to have an understanding

> for now

> we WILL make this

> Duo

> Berdly OUT 😎 🐦

[He... did it? A wave of relief washed over him as the first hurdle was clear. Now the next thing is to. . .

hope that the wi-fi will stay stable. But that's a rickety bridge he'll cross when the time comes. He'll take what he can get]

> PLAYER 1

> Thats me

> obviously

> has got it ALL covered

> I shall rise UP to the challenge, and HUMBLY take you under my bountiful wings.

> I SHALL glide you to the sweet gates of SUCCESS this Sunday

> WITH EASE

> To reach... PEAK PERFORMANCE

> With her gamer blessing

[Minutes turned to more minutes, until he swallowed his creeping fears, shook his feathery head, and rapid fired messages]

> I have returned

> and assessed the status

> and yes, player 2 has effectively, yet tragically unplugged her controller for the weekend

> BUT DESPAIR NOT KRIS P