(Trying to talk to me while I’m writing something down) “I can’t misspell attention deficit on a document for a doctor, that’d be too embarrassing, I’d have to quit.”

“I physically cannot make my face get out of this position. It’s stuck this way. That’s how gasted my flabber is.”
“‘I want to tell you something’ it’s never good, it’s never a good thing. It’s never ‘oh I’ve decided to really lock in and finish school’ it’s always the worst.”

“I’ve never physically attacked anyone, but the odds are not in his favor. I’m just saying. He shouldn’t roll up.”
“(In response to a client talking about gaslighting men back) I love women in STEM.”
“Quick what is 35 minus 18, I don’t know the answer but I want to make a joke.”

“(When told I couldn’t violate confidentiality due to self harm) First of all through Jesus all things are possible so jot that down.”
“(In response to “the one you called a pedophile”) I think they’re all pedophiles, that doesn’t narrow it down.”

“You walked directly into my trap. I placed it down so carefully, and you walked right in, and now I get to spin in this chair and flip my hair and say ‘EXACTLY!’”

“It’s hard work carrying you all in my heart all the time”
“I mean I’m not gonna fight a kid probably”
“What if I’ve been lying this whole time and I’m a married mom of four? What then?”

“I’m a doctor, the principal, and I organize balls so I also have to look my best. My husband Ken stays at home.” So real.