Skrimshander
@skrimshander.bsky.social
"Listen to the brown thrasher in the spring and hear him tell the farmer, 'Cover it up! Cover it up! Pick it up! Pick it up! Pick it up! One step beyond!'"
November 25, 2025 at 10:18 PM
"Listen to the brown thrasher in the spring and hear him tell the farmer, 'Cover it up! Cover it up! Pick it up! Pick it up! Pick it up! One step beyond!'"
The masculine urge to slowly bleed out here.
October 27, 2025 at 3:27 AM
The masculine urge to slowly bleed out here.
No, George! Don’t!
October 14, 2025 at 4:57 PM
No, George! Don’t!
The job of the humanistic cleric is to identify both that which is evil and that which is good in the sacred tradition and then, in the words of St. Paul, "overcome evil with good."
October 6, 2025 at 3:10 AM
The job of the humanistic cleric is to identify both that which is evil and that which is good in the sacred tradition and then, in the words of St. Paul, "overcome evil with good."
I would root for them if they were called the Cows. If they were the Houston Cows, I'd be all about it.
September 20, 2025 at 3:51 AM
I would root for them if they were called the Cows. If they were the Houston Cows, I'd be all about it.
My point of view as a genius (400 IQ) who has just lost a fight to four imbeciles. Even with their powers combined, I should have defeated them easily. There must be something else, another factor I did not consider.
August 7, 2025 at 2:09 PM
My point of view as a genius (400 IQ) who has just lost a fight to four imbeciles. Even with their powers combined, I should have defeated them easily. There must be something else, another factor I did not consider.
East Texans posting their RenFest drip to Instagram like
March 12, 2025 at 2:17 PM
East Texans posting their RenFest drip to Instagram like
As soon as Texans see frost, we become so frightened that our bowels immediately evacuate & don’t stop evacuating for 72 hours. All the beaver nuggets & turkey legs we’ve stored in there since Rodeo get purged. That’s why we need so much toilet paper.
January 19, 2025 at 12:58 PM
As soon as Texans see frost, we become so frightened that our bowels immediately evacuate & don’t stop evacuating for 72 hours. All the beaver nuggets & turkey legs we’ve stored in there since Rodeo get purged. That’s why we need so much toilet paper.
"How will you know if you've found me at last? / Cuz I'll be the one, be the one, be the one / With my thumb in my ass."
January 10, 2025 at 3:19 PM
"How will you know if you've found me at last? / Cuz I'll be the one, be the one, be the one / With my thumb in my ass."
It's a sign of the times. So many reader's will finish Wilson's much truncated Odyssey and say to themselves, "this could have been an email."
December 30, 2024 at 9:40 PM
It's a sign of the times. So many reader's will finish Wilson's much truncated Odyssey and say to themselves, "this could have been an email."
ffs John do I really need to spell this one out for you?
December 24, 2024 at 3:00 PM
ffs John do I really need to spell this one out for you?
No, Google, I did not.
December 23, 2024 at 5:26 AM
No, Google, I did not.
Whoso cloggeth, with vape residue, the chargport of this iPhone 7 is rightwise--
December 19, 2024 at 10:02 PM
Whoso cloggeth, with vape residue, the chargport of this iPhone 7 is rightwise--
"hope in work and joy in pleasure," that's so beautiful
December 19, 2024 at 9:35 PM
"hope in work and joy in pleasure," that's so beautiful
“Oh hey, that guy’s going to take our picture! Bobby, quick, get your horse.”
November 23, 2024 at 11:19 PM
“Oh hey, that guy’s going to take our picture! Bobby, quick, get your horse.”
The modern Mrs. Gregg has both a Twitter and a Threads account for much the same reason.
August 8, 2024 at 2:06 AM
The modern Mrs. Gregg has both a Twitter and a Threads account for much the same reason.
Oh, dang! That's sick, bro. Why didn't you tell me your mom had a castle?
July 18, 2024 at 5:54 PM
Oh, dang! That's sick, bro. Why didn't you tell me your mom had a castle?
“If you are not an artist and, therefore, unburdened by the sacred duty of imitating life, then you may take any common consensus for fact, but there comes a time in the life of every painter when he must decide for himself exactly how long a sheep is.” — William Henry Davis (probably)
May 20, 2024 at 8:16 PM
“If you are not an artist and, therefore, unburdened by the sacred duty of imitating life, then you may take any common consensus for fact, but there comes a time in the life of every painter when he must decide for himself exactly how long a sheep is.” — William Henry Davis (probably)
This tweet features two of the most dangerous conservative archetypes; the first (& most numerous) are the MAGAloids who wave Old Glory while singing “Born in the USA,” not knowing what it means. More rare are the Kissingerians who smile & wave & sing along because they do know what it means.
May 6, 2024 at 9:04 PM
This tweet features two of the most dangerous conservative archetypes; the first (& most numerous) are the MAGAloids who wave Old Glory while singing “Born in the USA,” not knowing what it means. More rare are the Kissingerians who smile & wave & sing along because they do know what it means.
I don't mean to question Saul Bellow's authority here. After all, he did look like this. I'm only suggesting that the times have changed. Tell a lady you're a writer in 1953, and she assumes you're a seasoned journalist. Say the same thing now, and she assumes you self-publish fantasy novellas.
April 29, 2024 at 4:32 PM
I don't mean to question Saul Bellow's authority here. After all, he did look like this. I'm only suggesting that the times have changed. Tell a lady you're a writer in 1953, and she assumes you're a seasoned journalist. Say the same thing now, and she assumes you self-publish fantasy novellas.
POV, your crush just handed you the aux cord and you remember her saying something about liking underground country music.
April 4, 2024 at 2:34 PM
POV, your crush just handed you the aux cord and you remember her saying something about liking underground country music.
You'd think the impeachment process would be more complicated than that.
March 18, 2024 at 2:48 PM
You'd think the impeachment process would be more complicated than that.
Zoomer Carl Sandberg be like, "I am the grass. Let me cook."
February 27, 2024 at 8:48 PM
Zoomer Carl Sandberg be like, "I am the grass. Let me cook."