Simon Caine
@simoncaine.bsky.social
Award-winning comedian, writer and content creator (a triple empty threat).
Nothing screams "America" more than the fact Black Friday sales now runs longer than Black History Month.
November 14, 2025 at 11:48 AM
Nothing screams "America" more than the fact Black Friday sales now runs longer than Black History Month.
How's everyone else's Saturday?
June 21, 2025 at 9:23 PM
How's everyone else's Saturday?
Someone should ask Putin to help negotiate a peace deal between Elon and Trump.
June 5, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Someone should ask Putin to help negotiate a peace deal between Elon and Trump.
I went to a restaurant and they said 8s and unders eat free. Which is great because I'm a 5 at best.
May 28, 2025 at 9:25 PM
I went to a restaurant and they said 8s and unders eat free. Which is great because I'm a 5 at best.
The theme song will be ICE ICE baby
May 16, 2025 at 11:23 PM
The theme song will be ICE ICE baby
The only thing worse than a job rejection is when the recruiters don't reply and then make a big fuss about who they did hire.
Anyway, I'm not going to be the new Pope.
Anyway, I'm not going to be the new Pope.
May 10, 2025 at 10:14 PM
The only thing worse than a job rejection is when the recruiters don't reply and then make a big fuss about who they did hire.
Anyway, I'm not going to be the new Pope.
Anyway, I'm not going to be the new Pope.
I have a feeling this will be a short dance.
April 30, 2025 at 10:51 PM
I have a feeling this will be a short dance.
Flat for rent for the EdFringe.
Double bed.
Open plan.
£50,000 for the whole month.
No time wasters.
Double bed.
Open plan.
£50,000 for the whole month.
No time wasters.
April 28, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Flat for rent for the EdFringe.
Double bed.
Open plan.
£50,000 for the whole month.
No time wasters.
Double bed.
Open plan.
£50,000 for the whole month.
No time wasters.
If he doesn't reappear in 3 days he's missing a massive PR opportunity.
April 21, 2025 at 12:07 PM
If he doesn't reappear in 3 days he's missing a massive PR opportunity.
I feel like if you earn more than £10,000 a year from a thing you shouldn't be able to call it a "side hustle".
April 12, 2025 at 10:06 PM
I feel like if you earn more than £10,000 a year from a thing you shouldn't be able to call it a "side hustle".
Someone's had a big trip to IKEA
April 11, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Someone's had a big trip to IKEA
No, you're unable to sleep because you're casting for a recreation of Hamilton with Muppets.
The King of England would be the only human.
The King of England would be the only human.
March 28, 2025 at 12:19 AM
No, you're unable to sleep because you're casting for a recreation of Hamilton with Muppets.
The King of England would be the only human.
The King of England would be the only human.
I've been under represented for too long
March 20, 2025 at 7:55 PM
I've been under represented for too long
£1000 says Putin will be in an unofficial Tesla ad by Thursday.
March 17, 2025 at 11:02 PM
£1000 says Putin will be in an unofficial Tesla ad by Thursday.
He's littering the Gulf of Mexico.
March 8, 2025 at 5:45 AM
He's littering the Gulf of Mexico.
Remember, a crepe is just a pancake that did a year abroad in France and wants everyone to know it.
March 4, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Remember, a crepe is just a pancake that did a year abroad in France and wants everyone to know it.
Even God has no good news right now.
March 4, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Even God has no good news right now.
If it's yellow, let it mellow.
If it's brown, let it mellow.
If it's brown, let it mellow.
March 1, 2025 at 5:56 AM
If it's yellow, let it mellow.
If it's brown, let it mellow.
If it's brown, let it mellow.
Donald Trump is the best President Russia has ever had.
March 1, 2025 at 4:53 AM
Donald Trump is the best President Russia has ever had.
"Washing machines live longer with Calgon"
February 28, 2025 at 4:32 PM
"Washing machines live longer with Calgon"
POV you purchased a Hugo Boss suit in 1938.
February 25, 2025 at 10:52 PM
POV you purchased a Hugo Boss suit in 1938.
Like a broken clock, even a buffoon is right twice a decade.
I feel dirty agreeing with him.
I feel dirty agreeing with him.
February 19, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Like a broken clock, even a buffoon is right twice a decade.
I feel dirty agreeing with him.
I feel dirty agreeing with him.
When you lied in the job interview...
February 19, 2025 at 9:07 PM
When you lied in the job interview...