You ever wonder why so many adults feel anxious even when nothing’s wrong?It might start earlier than you think, with a single word we all grew up hearing: “Good.”In Tokyo, a kindergarten banned that word for 30 days.No “good job.” No “good drawing.” No “good morning.”Teachers had to describe instead of praise.“I see you used blue today.”“You tied your shoes faster.”“You helped your friend.”Within two weeks, everything changed.The kids stopped looking at teachers for approval.They started showing each other their work instead.Their play got louder. Their confidence steadier.They didn’t need validation anymore, they had connection.Here’s the science behind it.When someone praises you, your brain releases a quick hit of dopamine.It feels good but fades fast.You start chasing it again, needing more approval to feel okay.But when someone simply *notices* you without judgment the brain builds what psychologists call “self-referenced dopamine.”It’s slower but stronger.It creates motivation that lasts because it comes from within.That’s why so many adults struggle with anxiety and burnout.We grew up waiting for invisible approval.We still refresh our phones, check likes, overthink, and overperform — hoping someone says, “You’re doing great.”But real peace comes from presence, not praise.From noticing, not performing.Try it for a day.Replace “good job” with “I saw how much effort you put in.”It’ll feel strange at first.Then, quietly powerful.Save this post as a reminder.The next time you want validation, look for awareness instead.That’s where freedom begins.Verified Sources (used for reference):• Tokyo University of Social Welfare• Journal of Personality and Social Psychology• American Psychological Association (APA)• Harvard Graduate School of Education• Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research• National Institute for Physiological Sciences Japan

🥰Your feel good research of the day:Gentle as a mother's touch: C-tactile touch promotes autonomic regulation in preterm infants by I Püschel, J Reichert, Y Friedrich, J Bergander, K Weidner, I Croy (2022)View all 3,525 comments

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