Sure, he's been mean at times, getting angry, dismissing or mocking my anxieties. That's not -good- but it's not like, clearly evil human behavior. We're both flawed but deserving of forgiveness.
From someone.
I'm just... tired.
From someone.
I'm just... tired.
December 18, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Sure, he's been mean at times, getting angry, dismissing or mocking my anxieties. That's not -good- but it's not like, clearly evil human behavior. We're both flawed but deserving of forgiveness.
From someone.
I'm just... tired.
From someone.
I'm just... tired.
My heart has turned so bitter and mean in relation to him, it's not pretty and I don't like it.
I wish I could justify myself by saying he deserves my hate but at worst he's mostly neglected and abandoned me, rather than having been unreasonably malicious.
I wish I could justify myself by saying he deserves my hate but at worst he's mostly neglected and abandoned me, rather than having been unreasonably malicious.
December 18, 2025 at 4:39 AM
My heart has turned so bitter and mean in relation to him, it's not pretty and I don't like it.
I wish I could justify myself by saying he deserves my hate but at worst he's mostly neglected and abandoned me, rather than having been unreasonably malicious.
I wish I could justify myself by saying he deserves my hate but at worst he's mostly neglected and abandoned me, rather than having been unreasonably malicious.
Mind going: gag, what the hell. WTF kind of relationship do they have where they're making sexual mention of me? Why should I be involved in this shit? I don't want to fuck him and I don't want to fuck anyone who wants to fuck him and I certainly don't want to do both at the same time
December 18, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Mind going: gag, what the hell. WTF kind of relationship do they have where they're making sexual mention of me? Why should I be involved in this shit? I don't want to fuck him and I don't want to fuck anyone who wants to fuck him and I certainly don't want to do both at the same time
I'm working on my husband's desktop and he's logged into WhatsApp (he's home now). A few notifications just popped up in the corner of the screen from some woman I haven't heard of. Thanking him. Saying her home is always open to him. Wife and kids included. And maybe she can eat out his wife.
December 18, 2025 at 4:39 AM
I'm working on my husband's desktop and he's logged into WhatsApp (he's home now). A few notifications just popped up in the corner of the screen from some woman I haven't heard of. Thanking him. Saying her home is always open to him. Wife and kids included. And maybe she can eat out his wife.
Very typical of him, joining up with someone and then insisting on splitting up if he finds they can't go at his preferred pace.
Best of luck to whatever they've got going.
Best of luck to whatever they've got going.
December 17, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Very typical of him, joining up with someone and then insisting on splitting up if he finds they can't go at his preferred pace.
Best of luck to whatever they've got going.
Best of luck to whatever they've got going.
"She was wearing crocs, so I told her, we can't do this if you're going to be walking 1 mile per hour. So I went to go play disc golf on my own while she wandered around the area. I played an amazing round; I think we both had a good time."
December 17, 2025 at 9:00 PM
"She was wearing crocs, so I told her, we can't do this if you're going to be walking 1 mile per hour. So I went to go play disc golf on my own while she wandered around the area. I played an amazing round; I think we both had a good time."
I wish I could tell her how fast my heart is beating right now, two days and change later
maybe she'd be flattered, but also
I'm afraid of crushing our reconnection in my ham-fist grip
maybe she'd be flattered, but also
I'm afraid of crushing our reconnection in my ham-fist grip
December 17, 2025 at 7:30 PM
I wish I could tell her how fast my heart is beating right now, two days and change later
maybe she'd be flattered, but also
I'm afraid of crushing our reconnection in my ham-fist grip
maybe she'd be flattered, but also
I'm afraid of crushing our reconnection in my ham-fist grip
I wouldn't call myself demisexual. But my sexuality is at its most intense when activated by emotional ties, and when it is it can get really, really intense.
Anyway, part of me is determined, I will have sex with her in the future if it's the last damned thing I do *fist slams on table*
Anyway, part of me is determined, I will have sex with her in the future if it's the last damned thing I do *fist slams on table*
December 17, 2025 at 7:30 PM
I wouldn't call myself demisexual. But my sexuality is at its most intense when activated by emotional ties, and when it is it can get really, really intense.
Anyway, part of me is determined, I will have sex with her in the future if it's the last damned thing I do *fist slams on table*
Anyway, part of me is determined, I will have sex with her in the future if it's the last damned thing I do *fist slams on table*
to describe my fantasies in detail
she used to appreciate
but we're not there right now
haaaaaaaa
she used to appreciate
but we're not there right now
haaaaaaaa
December 17, 2025 at 7:30 PM
to describe my fantasies in detail
she used to appreciate
but we're not there right now
haaaaaaaa
she used to appreciate
but we're not there right now
haaaaaaaa
my text conversation reaction was positive but not gushing
doesn't feel right to let her know that this has me fucking salivating
don't want to be too needy
but oh god the things I would do to her
oh god I wish we had the sort of relationship right now where I could tell her about it
doesn't feel right to let her know that this has me fucking salivating
don't want to be too needy
but oh god the things I would do to her
oh god I wish we had the sort of relationship right now where I could tell her about it
December 17, 2025 at 7:30 PM
my text conversation reaction was positive but not gushing
doesn't feel right to let her know that this has me fucking salivating
don't want to be too needy
but oh god the things I would do to her
oh god I wish we had the sort of relationship right now where I could tell her about it
doesn't feel right to let her know that this has me fucking salivating
don't want to be too needy
but oh god the things I would do to her
oh god I wish we had the sort of relationship right now where I could tell her about it
also going through my mind, what did she mean by this?
she sent them rather nonchalantly, but did she mean it that way?
platonic tit pic?
I know she has a bit of an exhibitionist streak, how much was this directed towards me in particular and how much of it was just, she wants to show everyone?
she sent them rather nonchalantly, but did she mean it that way?
platonic tit pic?
I know she has a bit of an exhibitionist streak, how much was this directed towards me in particular and how much of it was just, she wants to show everyone?
December 17, 2025 at 7:30 PM
also going through my mind, what did she mean by this?
she sent them rather nonchalantly, but did she mean it that way?
platonic tit pic?
I know she has a bit of an exhibitionist streak, how much was this directed towards me in particular and how much of it was just, she wants to show everyone?
she sent them rather nonchalantly, but did she mean it that way?
platonic tit pic?
I know she has a bit of an exhibitionist streak, how much was this directed towards me in particular and how much of it was just, she wants to show everyone?
lunch with coworkers
line of sight brushes over one of my coworker's chest
maybe they're about the same size?
don't stare don't stare don't stare
wanna look because I wanna stare at her tits in person but can't
wanna be in their presence
wanna TOUCH
don't stare don't stare don't stare
line of sight brushes over one of my coworker's chest
maybe they're about the same size?
don't stare don't stare don't stare
wanna look because I wanna stare at her tits in person but can't
wanna be in their presence
wanna TOUCH
don't stare don't stare don't stare
December 17, 2025 at 7:30 PM
lunch with coworkers
line of sight brushes over one of my coworker's chest
maybe they're about the same size?
don't stare don't stare don't stare
wanna look because I wanna stare at her tits in person but can't
wanna be in their presence
wanna TOUCH
don't stare don't stare don't stare
line of sight brushes over one of my coworker's chest
maybe they're about the same size?
don't stare don't stare don't stare
wanna look because I wanna stare at her tits in person but can't
wanna be in their presence
wanna TOUCH
don't stare don't stare don't stare
can't stop thinking about her body
at work, trying to get through the day, mind and body still all lit up
a tit pic from a girl you love
oh god this sensation oh god it's so good it's so strong I'm so alive and bursting
at work, trying to get through the day, mind and body still all lit up
a tit pic from a girl you love
oh god this sensation oh god it's so good it's so strong I'm so alive and bursting
December 17, 2025 at 7:30 PM
can't stop thinking about her body
at work, trying to get through the day, mind and body still all lit up
a tit pic from a girl you love
oh god this sensation oh god it's so good it's so strong I'm so alive and bursting
at work, trying to get through the day, mind and body still all lit up
a tit pic from a girl you love
oh god this sensation oh god it's so good it's so strong I'm so alive and bursting
she sent me this at like 4:30 AM after we'd been talking for hours
I got maybe an hour of sleep that night
absolutely worth it
I got maybe an hour of sleep that night
absolutely worth it
December 17, 2025 at 7:30 PM
she sent me this at like 4:30 AM after we'd been talking for hours
I got maybe an hour of sleep that night
absolutely worth it
I got maybe an hour of sleep that night
absolutely worth it
my reaction to this is so intense and all over it's hard to be eloquent in describing this
gonna do short, choppy, non sentences
first just heat, bodily heat
sensations in my erogenous zones all amplified
heartrate up
mind ablaze too
gonna do short, choppy, non sentences
first just heat, bodily heat
sensations in my erogenous zones all amplified
heartrate up
mind ablaze too
December 17, 2025 at 7:30 PM
my reaction to this is so intense and all over it's hard to be eloquent in describing this
gonna do short, choppy, non sentences
first just heat, bodily heat
sensations in my erogenous zones all amplified
heartrate up
mind ablaze too
gonna do short, choppy, non sentences
first just heat, bodily heat
sensations in my erogenous zones all amplified
heartrate up
mind ablaze too
She sent me a tit pic
"for science" she said
"I don't know if you've seen them yet"
For context, she is trans, and she transitioned after we broke up 11 years ago
so I am not intimately familiar with her post HRT body
"for science" she said
"I don't know if you've seen them yet"
For context, she is trans, and she transitioned after we broke up 11 years ago
so I am not intimately familiar with her post HRT body
December 17, 2025 at 7:30 PM
She sent me a tit pic
"for science" she said
"I don't know if you've seen them yet"
For context, she is trans, and she transitioned after we broke up 11 years ago
so I am not intimately familiar with her post HRT body
"for science" she said
"I don't know if you've seen them yet"
For context, she is trans, and she transitioned after we broke up 11 years ago
so I am not intimately familiar with her post HRT body
Fully aware that I am too fucking much. But she never made me feel that way.
December 15, 2025 at 9:15 AM
Fully aware that I am too fucking much. But she never made me feel that way.
I greatly appreciate your asking.
December 12, 2025 at 10:32 PM
I greatly appreciate your asking.
Positives that are not just a lack of negatives: had a long phone call with a friend on Tuesday; hosted my daughter’s friend + parents for dinner yesterday; we have a Christmas tree up in the living room and it’s pretty to look at; my experiments today identified a phenotype-causing mutation
December 12, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Positives that are not just a lack of negatives: had a long phone call with a friend on Tuesday; hosted my daughter’s friend + parents for dinner yesterday; we have a Christmas tree up in the living room and it’s pretty to look at; my experiments today identified a phenotype-causing mutation
Negatives: getting to feel overwhelmed with things to get done; anxious about my husband returning home Sunday night (he’s been away for a month); haven’t been sleeping quite enough; haven’t had much time for fun and relaxation; considering if I am forever doomed to severe relational dissatisfaction
December 12, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Negatives: getting to feel overwhelmed with things to get done; anxious about my husband returning home Sunday night (he’s been away for a month); haven’t been sleeping quite enough; haven’t had much time for fun and relaxation; considering if I am forever doomed to severe relational dissatisfaction
Longer answer: I have a lot more negative than positive things to say. The positives that come easily are more like a lack of negatives; they point to thoughts of how it could be much worse. But, no, I did have some actually good things happen this past week. The negatives just take up more space.
December 12, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Longer answer: I have a lot more negative than positive things to say. The positives that come easily are more like a lack of negatives; they point to thoughts of how it could be much worse. But, no, I did have some actually good things happen this past week. The negatives just take up more space.