I basically still feel like crying over that. That made me feel seen and loved.

but when I told this one guy. It suddenly clicked.
I don't like my name, because it basically never gets used in a good way.
The only memories of my name, are when used in a negative way.
I told him that.
And he said
"Silke, you've been great this evening, I had fun" (or something like that)

Some people I told stopped using my name... Unless they had really negative emotions towards me. Some people never use my name, and I love them for listening to me.

But that feels bad sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I'm forced to put dust on it myself. And that feels even more unnatural...

But most crushed could never be anything more. So I pack them up and put it in a little box, and I try to let dust settle over it.