You gals ever open your phone photos in public and there’s a picture of YOUR FUCKING TITS prominently displayed in your most recents for the world to behold? Yeah me neither

Instead of saying “Shit goes hard” I’m now saying “Shit goes boner hard”

In the time it took me to edit a video the U.S. has bombed Iran. Can’t wait to see what happens when I go take a shit later.

There’s a guy in front of me on this flight watching the Hobbit movies. Lol what a fucking dumbass, can you imagine bingeing that over LOtR while trapped in a tube with a bunch of stinky babies holy shit. Literally the only way to make a plane ride worse.

At what temperature do the balls sneak away?

Also shout out to Debra idk who the fuck you are but you’re a real one

I’m on a plane and they gave me WiFi for free for some fuckin reason so I figured I’d download this app since I, too, am in the sky.