Shawn Carlow
@shawncarlow.bsky.social
Writer/Comedian/Producer
Author of People of the Titanic - Out right now from @HumoristBooks.bsky.social
www.ShawnCarlowWrites.com
Author of People of the Titanic - Out right now from @HumoristBooks.bsky.social
www.ShawnCarlowWrites.com
My grandmother -- as they were driving her off to the asylum.
November 18, 2025 at 5:34 PM
My grandmother -- as they were driving her off to the asylum.
Finally got my Cybertruck delivered and went for a drive. The autopilot function took over and drove me off the side of a highway, and the vehicle cracked in half, propelling my custom "Elon head" steering wheel to break off and roll into a sewer drain. Can only give it three stars.
November 14, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Finally got my Cybertruck delivered and went for a drive. The autopilot function took over and drove me off the side of a highway, and the vehicle cracked in half, propelling my custom "Elon head" steering wheel to break off and roll into a sewer drain. Can only give it three stars.
New season of Stranger Things debuts soon, and our cat, for one, is already prepped and ready to watch.
November 13, 2025 at 10:05 PM
New season of Stranger Things debuts soon, and our cat, for one, is already prepped and ready to watch.
“Let us pray that the truth about the Epstein files never comes out. Amen.”
November 13, 2025 at 3:11 AM
“Let us pray that the truth about the Epstein files never comes out. Amen.”
When you get to the East Wing, watch out for the broken glass and plaster!
November 6, 2025 at 6:54 PM
When you get to the East Wing, watch out for the broken glass and plaster!
“Another weary night in the city, sipping Scotch and investigating a murder.”
November 5, 2025 at 2:53 AM
“Another weary night in the city, sipping Scotch and investigating a murder.”
Me and my elfin spell casters, Bimblestik, Cringe, and Raymond ready to spread the Halloween cheer. Don’t let our horrifying presence fool you. We’re dishwasher safe.
October 31, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Me and my elfin spell casters, Bimblestik, Cringe, and Raymond ready to spread the Halloween cheer. Don’t let our horrifying presence fool you. We’re dishwasher safe.
“Happy Halloween! Now if you look east, children, you can see the pile of wreckage that was caused by the madman that still walks these grounds.”
October 30, 2025 at 11:29 PM
“Happy Halloween! Now if you look east, children, you can see the pile of wreckage that was caused by the madman that still walks these grounds.”
New box, new base of operations.
October 30, 2025 at 1:43 AM
New box, new base of operations.
Just got my mask. I’m going as William Shatner for Halloween this year.
October 29, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Just got my mask. I’m going as William Shatner for Halloween this year.
Just a solemn reminder that plastics are ruining our oceans.
October 28, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Just a solemn reminder that plastics are ruining our oceans.
People don’t always remember this, but there was a time when the Australia Potato Industry Council had their pulse squarely on the times we lived in.
October 28, 2025 at 12:44 AM
People don’t always remember this, but there was a time when the Australia Potato Industry Council had their pulse squarely on the times we lived in.
Remember, as we enter the holiday corridor, my book and other funny books from my publisher, Humorist Books, make great gifts and a fine addition to any bookshelf.
www.ShawnCarlowWrites.com
www.humoristbooks.com
www.ShawnCarlowWrites.com
www.humoristbooks.com
October 27, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Remember, as we enter the holiday corridor, my book and other funny books from my publisher, Humorist Books, make great gifts and a fine addition to any bookshelf.
www.ShawnCarlowWrites.com
www.humoristbooks.com
www.ShawnCarlowWrites.com
www.humoristbooks.com
My otherwise perfectly normal wife around Halloween.
October 27, 2025 at 12:00 AM
My otherwise perfectly normal wife around Halloween.
This is the east end of the White House today. Looks like Trump is doing what the 9/11 terrorists were unable to.
October 21, 2025 at 1:02 AM
This is the east end of the White House today. Looks like Trump is doing what the 9/11 terrorists were unable to.
No Kings?! Ha!
I say Yes, Kings, and we tamp down all these peasant revolts.
Hey, come back to my place? I live in squalor.
I say Yes, Kings, and we tamp down all these peasant revolts.
Hey, come back to my place? I live in squalor.
October 19, 2025 at 6:02 PM
No Kings?! Ha!
I say Yes, Kings, and we tamp down all these peasant revolts.
Hey, come back to my place? I live in squalor.
I say Yes, Kings, and we tamp down all these peasant revolts.
Hey, come back to my place? I live in squalor.
Forgotten vampire attributes:
-Often develop coffin sores.
-Also don’t reflect in double glazed windows.
- second stomachs help process blood intake.
-Don’t respond well to sunlight, garlic, and holy water. Also repelled by crab grass, lager, and unmanicured fingernails.
-Often develop coffin sores.
-Also don’t reflect in double glazed windows.
- second stomachs help process blood intake.
-Don’t respond well to sunlight, garlic, and holy water. Also repelled by crab grass, lager, and unmanicured fingernails.
October 15, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Forgotten vampire attributes:
-Often develop coffin sores.
-Also don’t reflect in double glazed windows.
- second stomachs help process blood intake.
-Don’t respond well to sunlight, garlic, and holy water. Also repelled by crab grass, lager, and unmanicured fingernails.
-Often develop coffin sores.
-Also don’t reflect in double glazed windows.
- second stomachs help process blood intake.
-Don’t respond well to sunlight, garlic, and holy water. Also repelled by crab grass, lager, and unmanicured fingernails.
Even though Gregory had turned into a bat, his DNA hadn’t changed, and he would be prosecuted for Darlene's murder all the same.
October 14, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Even though Gregory had turned into a bat, his DNA hadn’t changed, and he would be prosecuted for Darlene's murder all the same.
“Sir, the White House chef has constructed a Nobel Beef Prize out of delicious cheeseburgers, and congrats, you won.”
October 12, 2025 at 4:39 PM
“Sir, the White House chef has constructed a Nobel Beef Prize out of delicious cheeseburgers, and congrats, you won.”
Two legends within a month. Rule of threes need not apply.
RIP Diane Keaton!
RIP Diane Keaton!
October 12, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Two legends within a month. Rule of threes need not apply.
RIP Diane Keaton!
RIP Diane Keaton!
If Sean Penn doesn’t play James Monroe in the biopic, I will be very disappointed.
October 10, 2025 at 4:53 PM
If Sean Penn doesn’t play James Monroe in the biopic, I will be very disappointed.
Gearing up for Halloween with my Zodiac Killer costume.
October 8, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Gearing up for Halloween with my Zodiac Killer costume.
Mr. Freeze at the Vatican today urging you to vote yes on 50.
October 8, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Mr. Freeze at the Vatican today urging you to vote yes on 50.
Flashback to when Circle K began marketing their very own cigarettes in LA, and they somehow imagined this was a good name for their new product.
September 26, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Flashback to when Circle K began marketing their very own cigarettes in LA, and they somehow imagined this was a good name for their new product.
My rapture outfit.
September 23, 2025 at 2:41 AM
My rapture outfit.