Bruce Rumspringasteen
@sharkanetics.bsky.social
Having learned more about Mary Lou Retton's politics, I hereby disavow my earlier skeet about wanting to see her play Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol.
July 6, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Having learned more about Mary Lou Retton's politics, I hereby disavow my earlier skeet about wanting to see her play Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol.
Justice is a pay-to-win game with macrotransactions.
July 5, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Justice is a pay-to-win game with macrotransactions.
I’m all outta cheeks to turn.
January 2, 2025 at 8:57 AM
I’m all outta cheeks to turn.
Am I the only one who genuinely wants to see The Night The Reindeer Died from the intro to Scrooged? Not to mention a live production of A Christmas Carol starring Mary Lou Retton as Tiny Tim. That’s quality programming.
December 25, 2024 at 10:39 PM
Am I the only one who genuinely wants to see The Night The Reindeer Died from the intro to Scrooged? Not to mention a live production of A Christmas Carol starring Mary Lou Retton as Tiny Tim. That’s quality programming.
Remember the height of the pandemic, when the government just cancelled rent and absolutely nothing bad happened? I remember.
December 25, 2024 at 9:59 PM
Remember the height of the pandemic, when the government just cancelled rent and absolutely nothing bad happened? I remember.
It’s bizarre seeing people continue to act like AOC is some maverick champion of the working class. The hype train should have ended the moment she voted to strike-break for the railroad barons. That was a disqualifying vote. They won’t get better if we keep letting them get away with these things.
December 19, 2024 at 7:29 AM
It’s bizarre seeing people continue to act like AOC is some maverick champion of the working class. The hype train should have ended the moment she voted to strike-break for the railroad barons. That was a disqualifying vote. They won’t get better if we keep letting them get away with these things.
I want a reboot of All in the Family where Archie is exactly the same as he was in 1972, but Gloria and Meathead were born in 2014. “Ehh, who’s skibidi terlet? Why can’t youse kids talk like normal human beings? Eeeediiith!”
December 16, 2024 at 7:55 PM
I want a reboot of All in the Family where Archie is exactly the same as he was in 1972, but Gloria and Meathead were born in 2014. “Ehh, who’s skibidi terlet? Why can’t youse kids talk like normal human beings? Eeeediiith!”
Crazy watching the narrative rapidly shift from “what a hero” to “this is no way to do things!!” by alleged progressives posting smarmy memes and tearfully opining about the “kind of world” they want to live in. Fuck right off with your status-quo bullshit.
December 11, 2024 at 5:55 PM
Crazy watching the narrative rapidly shift from “what a hero” to “this is no way to do things!!” by alleged progressives posting smarmy memes and tearfully opining about the “kind of world” they want to live in. Fuck right off with your status-quo bullshit.
While it is very, very funny to imagine the McDonald’s narc getting screwed out of his reward money, it isn’t going to happen. The monied dickhead class is absolutely terrified by the class solidarity they saw over the past week, and they know they need collaborators if they want to survive.
December 11, 2024 at 3:19 PM
While it is very, very funny to imagine the McDonald’s narc getting screwed out of his reward money, it isn’t going to happen. The monied dickhead class is absolutely terrified by the class solidarity they saw over the past week, and they know they need collaborators if they want to survive.
I never thought it was possible for there to be a Luigi sexier than Mario’s brother, but here we are.
December 11, 2024 at 6:42 AM
I never thought it was possible for there to be a Luigi sexier than Mario’s brother, but here we are.
Bands with amazing songs everyone knows, but nobody seems to remember the artists:
The Band - The Weight, The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, Up On Cripple Creek. The Last Waltz is the greatest concert of all time.
The Grassroots - Midnight Confession, Live For Today, too many to list here.
The Band - The Weight, The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, Up On Cripple Creek. The Last Waltz is the greatest concert of all time.
The Grassroots - Midnight Confession, Live For Today, too many to list here.
December 8, 2024 at 10:30 PM
Bands with amazing songs everyone knows, but nobody seems to remember the artists:
The Band - The Weight, The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, Up On Cripple Creek. The Last Waltz is the greatest concert of all time.
The Grassroots - Midnight Confession, Live For Today, too many to list here.
The Band - The Weight, The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, Up On Cripple Creek. The Last Waltz is the greatest concert of all time.
The Grassroots - Midnight Confession, Live For Today, too many to list here.
Trampolining is just serial diving.
December 8, 2024 at 9:22 PM
Trampolining is just serial diving.
It’s interesting how bad actors co-opt popular movements, slogans, and ideas.
For example, United Healthcare co-opted the concept and iconography of unity, but we see now that true unity is 95% of the internet coming together to simultaneously piss on that CEO’s grave.
For example, United Healthcare co-opted the concept and iconography of unity, but we see now that true unity is 95% of the internet coming together to simultaneously piss on that CEO’s grave.
December 8, 2024 at 8:28 PM
It’s interesting how bad actors co-opt popular movements, slogans, and ideas.
For example, United Healthcare co-opted the concept and iconography of unity, but we see now that true unity is 95% of the internet coming together to simultaneously piss on that CEO’s grave.
For example, United Healthcare co-opted the concept and iconography of unity, but we see now that true unity is 95% of the internet coming together to simultaneously piss on that CEO’s grave.
I have been up for three hours and two minutes. I have finally finished taking a shower and putting on fresh underwear. WHERE DOES THE TIME GO I lament as I lie in bed aimlessly scrolling through dozens of open browser tabs.
December 8, 2024 at 8:23 PM
I have been up for three hours and two minutes. I have finally finished taking a shower and putting on fresh underwear. WHERE DOES THE TIME GO I lament as I lie in bed aimlessly scrolling through dozens of open browser tabs.
Anyone else ever put off going poop because you’re just not in the mood?
December 8, 2024 at 7:24 PM
Anyone else ever put off going poop because you’re just not in the mood?
The United Healthcare CEO shooter can divide by zero.
December 8, 2024 at 10:48 AM
The United Healthcare CEO shooter can divide by zero.
It’s embarrassing watching alleged progressives continue to fawn over the Hunter Biden pardon. That pardon was corrupt as hell, and undermines the concept of justice that the left pretends to believe in.
Oligarchs doing oligarch stuff does not become good just because they’re your oligarchs.
Oligarchs doing oligarch stuff does not become good just because they’re your oligarchs.
December 8, 2024 at 5:14 AM
It’s embarrassing watching alleged progressives continue to fawn over the Hunter Biden pardon. That pardon was corrupt as hell, and undermines the concept of justice that the left pretends to believe in.
Oligarchs doing oligarch stuff does not become good just because they’re your oligarchs.
Oligarchs doing oligarch stuff does not become good just because they’re your oligarchs.
Democrats: “We’ve tried nothing, and we’re all out of ideas.”
Voters: “Have you tried gun control?”
Democrats: “What did I just say?”
Voters: “How about universal h…”
Democrats: “NOOOOOOOthing…”
Voters: “Have you tried gun control?”
Democrats: “What did I just say?”
Voters: “How about universal h…”
Democrats: “NOOOOOOOthing…”
December 7, 2024 at 4:16 PM
Democrats: “We’ve tried nothing, and we’re all out of ideas.”
Voters: “Have you tried gun control?”
Democrats: “What did I just say?”
Voters: “How about universal h…”
Democrats: “NOOOOOOOthing…”
Voters: “Have you tried gun control?”
Democrats: “What did I just say?”
Voters: “How about universal h…”
Democrats: “NOOOOOOOthing…”
Democrats in 2040:
“How can we reach our voters?”
“I know! We can remind them that at least we’re not Donald Trump.”
[Thinking] “You know, that has failed us the last four election cycles in a row, but THIS TIME it might just be crazy enough to work.”
“How can we reach our voters?”
“I know! We can remind them that at least we’re not Donald Trump.”
[Thinking] “You know, that has failed us the last four election cycles in a row, but THIS TIME it might just be crazy enough to work.”
December 7, 2024 at 4:13 PM
Democrats in 2040:
“How can we reach our voters?”
“I know! We can remind them that at least we’re not Donald Trump.”
[Thinking] “You know, that has failed us the last four election cycles in a row, but THIS TIME it might just be crazy enough to work.”
“How can we reach our voters?”
“I know! We can remind them that at least we’re not Donald Trump.”
[Thinking] “You know, that has failed us the last four election cycles in a row, but THIS TIME it might just be crazy enough to work.”
“Statistical Kowalski” would be a great name for a band.
December 7, 2024 at 3:52 PM
“Statistical Kowalski” would be a great name for a band.
Crowd-sourcing names for the revolutionary who plugged that United Healthcare prick. So far, I’ve heard The Claims Adjuster and The Actuary, and those are both so good I’m not sure they can be beaten.
December 7, 2024 at 7:21 AM
Crowd-sourcing names for the revolutionary who plugged that United Healthcare prick. So far, I’ve heard The Claims Adjuster and The Actuary, and those are both so good I’m not sure they can be beaten.
There are 100 kinds of people: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
December 6, 2024 at 9:32 AM
There are 100 kinds of people: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
My body knows I have work in the morning and I need to be asleep, but my brain wants to shitpost and solve Advent of Code problems.
December 6, 2024 at 9:05 AM
My body knows I have work in the morning and I need to be asleep, but my brain wants to shitpost and solve Advent of Code problems.
I have work in the morning. It’s 4:00am. I HAVE DEFEATED THE SANDMAN, but at what cost? At what cost?
December 6, 2024 at 9:04 AM
I have work in the morning. It’s 4:00am. I HAVE DEFEATED THE SANDMAN, but at what cost? At what cost?
Why is it always something bad? Why is it always, “There’s a bullet out there with your name on it?” How come it’s never, “There’s a warm croissant out there with your name on it?”
December 6, 2024 at 9:00 AM
Why is it always something bad? Why is it always, “There’s a bullet out there with your name on it?” How come it’s never, “There’s a warm croissant out there with your name on it?”