Shane Almgren
@shanealmgren.substack.com
Author, speaker, entrepreneur, musician, comedian, storyteller, endless purveyor of nonsense and practical jokes with a propensity for incarceration. Banned for life from the Nashville zoo.
Define IRONY: The man who coined the term "Sleepy Joe" peacefully napping in his office chair...behind the Resolute Desk...in the Oval Office...IN THE MIDDLE OF A FREAKING TELEVISED PRESS CONFERENCE
November 8, 2025 at 6:19 AM
Define IRONY: The man who coined the term "Sleepy Joe" peacefully napping in his office chair...behind the Resolute Desk...in the Oval Office...IN THE MIDDLE OF A FREAKING TELEVISED PRESS CONFERENCE
I guess we’re just threatening war with everyone now?
September 20, 2025 at 9:59 PM
I guess we’re just threatening war with everyone now?
I guess we’re just pro war crimes now?
September 7, 2025 at 5:35 PM
I guess we’re just pro war crimes now?
The “President” of the United States of America is on social media threatening to go to war with an American city.
September 6, 2025 at 7:48 PM
The “President” of the United States of America is on social media threatening to go to war with an American city.
Who woulda ever in a million years thunk that Speaker Moses Mike was covering for a wealthy donor?!?
September 4, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Who woulda ever in a million years thunk that Speaker Moses Mike was covering for a wealthy donor?!?
Your president*, ladies and gents:
“As previously mentioned, we are giving serious thought to taking away Rosie O’Donnell’s Citizenship. She is not a Great American and is, in my opinion, incapable of being so!”
“As previously mentioned, we are giving serious thought to taking away Rosie O’Donnell’s Citizenship. She is not a Great American and is, in my opinion, incapable of being so!”
September 4, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Your president*, ladies and gents:
“As previously mentioned, we are giving serious thought to taking away Rosie O’Donnell’s Citizenship. She is not a Great American and is, in my opinion, incapable of being so!”
“As previously mentioned, we are giving serious thought to taking away Rosie O’Donnell’s Citizenship. She is not a Great American and is, in my opinion, incapable of being so!”
For the record, the U.S. has so far taken in about $136 BILLION from tariffs, which I supposed is better than nothing.
Who remembers back to 2024 when our Country was completely destroyed and our military power was obliterated thanks to no awesome tariffs?
Don't all raise your hands at once.
Who remembers back to 2024 when our Country was completely destroyed and our military power was obliterated thanks to no awesome tariffs?
Don't all raise your hands at once.
August 31, 2025 at 6:38 PM
For the record, the U.S. has so far taken in about $136 BILLION from tariffs, which I supposed is better than nothing.
Who remembers back to 2024 when our Country was completely destroyed and our military power was obliterated thanks to no awesome tariffs?
Don't all raise your hands at once.
Who remembers back to 2024 when our Country was completely destroyed and our military power was obliterated thanks to no awesome tariffs?
Don't all raise your hands at once.
Here's what Trump was doing with his Saturday: posting AI pictures of himself on social media.
Really, these are precious. You could steal an old lady's purse directly in front of this lard ass and escape his meaty justice by slowly jogging up a small flight of stairs.
Judge Dread he is not.
Really, these are precious. You could steal an old lady's purse directly in front of this lard ass and escape his meaty justice by slowly jogging up a small flight of stairs.
Judge Dread he is not.
August 31, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Here's what Trump was doing with his Saturday: posting AI pictures of himself on social media.
Really, these are precious. You could steal an old lady's purse directly in front of this lard ass and escape his meaty justice by slowly jogging up a small flight of stairs.
Judge Dread he is not.
Really, these are precious. You could steal an old lady's purse directly in front of this lard ass and escape his meaty justice by slowly jogging up a small flight of stairs.
Judge Dread he is not.
A sharp-eyed DIY’er has uncovered evidence of what many of us suspected - Trump is a cheap bastard with a fetish for gold spray paint.
August 29, 2025 at 12:24 AM
A sharp-eyed DIY’er has uncovered evidence of what many of us suspected - Trump is a cheap bastard with a fetish for gold spray paint.
Folks, we are witnessing political satire for the ages!
Since MAGA loves to hijack our terms and repurpose them for their own bad-faith arguments, I say we start returning the favor.
I hereby declare that MAGA now stands for Make America Gavin Already.
MAGA!!!!!!
Since MAGA loves to hijack our terms and repurpose them for their own bad-faith arguments, I say we start returning the favor.
I hereby declare that MAGA now stands for Make America Gavin Already.
MAGA!!!!!!
August 21, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Folks, we are witnessing political satire for the ages!
Since MAGA loves to hijack our terms and repurpose them for their own bad-faith arguments, I say we start returning the favor.
I hereby declare that MAGA now stands for Make America Gavin Already.
MAGA!!!!!!
Since MAGA loves to hijack our terms and repurpose them for their own bad-faith arguments, I say we start returning the favor.
I hereby declare that MAGA now stands for Make America Gavin Already.
MAGA!!!!!!
Gavin Newsom is the best SNL Trump ever.
Prove me wrong.
Prove me wrong.
August 15, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Gavin Newsom is the best SNL Trump ever.
Prove me wrong.
Prove me wrong.
President Newsom continues the epic trolling of Convict Trump
August 14, 2025 at 2:24 AM
President Newsom continues the epic trolling of Convict Trump
Trump’s latest polling numbers just came out showing his National Approval rating at 37%. His net approval rating is at -8.6 for August, and has even fallen 9% points among Republican voters since taking office.
Trump’s response?
“Wow! Highest polling Republican President in HISTORY! Thank you.”
Trump’s response?
“Wow! Highest polling Republican President in HISTORY! Thank you.”
August 13, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Trump’s latest polling numbers just came out showing his National Approval rating at 37%. His net approval rating is at -8.6 for August, and has even fallen 9% points among Republican voters since taking office.
Trump’s response?
“Wow! Highest polling Republican President in HISTORY! Thank you.”
Trump’s response?
“Wow! Highest polling Republican President in HISTORY! Thank you.”
Newsom has apparently discovered his calling in life.
August 13, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Newsom has apparently discovered his calling in life.
Define “narcissist”:
Convicted felon Trump fires the head of the Kennedy Center, appoints himself chairman, then shares a post of the Center he’s the self-appointed head of thanking himself for “restoring the grandeur” of the thing that was already perfectly fine before he showed up and ruined it.
Convicted felon Trump fires the head of the Kennedy Center, appoints himself chairman, then shares a post of the Center he’s the self-appointed head of thanking himself for “restoring the grandeur” of the thing that was already perfectly fine before he showed up and ruined it.
August 13, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Define “narcissist”:
Convicted felon Trump fires the head of the Kennedy Center, appoints himself chairman, then shares a post of the Center he’s the self-appointed head of thanking himself for “restoring the grandeur” of the thing that was already perfectly fine before he showed up and ruined it.
Convicted felon Trump fires the head of the Kennedy Center, appoints himself chairman, then shares a post of the Center he’s the self-appointed head of thanking himself for “restoring the grandeur” of the thing that was already perfectly fine before he showed up and ruined it.
Apparently, Trump is now at the FAFO stage of his presidency.
August 12, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Apparently, Trump is now at the FAFO stage of his presidency.
“I’ll take ‘Things Nobody Has Been Asking For That Distract From The Epstein Files’ for $600, Alex.”
“A Statement from Donald J. Trump, President of the United States of America:
Gold will not be Tariffed!”
“A Statement from Donald J. Trump, President of the United States of America:
Gold will not be Tariffed!”
August 11, 2025 at 5:59 PM
“I’ll take ‘Things Nobody Has Been Asking For That Distract From The Epstein Files’ for $600, Alex.”
“A Statement from Donald J. Trump, President of the United States of America:
Gold will not be Tariffed!”
“A Statement from Donald J. Trump, President of the United States of America:
Gold will not be Tariffed!”
Apparently the internet is just now finding out what Trump did to the Oval Office door.
Can we maybe get this guy tested for meth?
Can we maybe get this guy tested for meth?
August 9, 2025 at 2:29 AM
Apparently the internet is just now finding out what Trump did to the Oval Office door.
Can we maybe get this guy tested for meth?
Can we maybe get this guy tested for meth?
It turns out we actually can all agree on a some things.
August 9, 2025 at 2:17 AM
It turns out we actually can all agree on a some things.
The very stable genius is having a midnight meltdown.
August 3, 2025 at 11:14 AM
The very stable genius is having a midnight meltdown.
Sweetheart, you didn't need to tell us who you voted for. All you had to say was you were a "wite Suburian" and we could've figured out the rest.
July 26, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Sweetheart, you didn't need to tell us who you voted for. All you had to say was you were a "wite Suburian" and we could've figured out the rest.
