shadypandora.bsky.social
@shadypandora.bsky.social
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umm im not an evil heretical witch im just the princess. these knights arent brainwashed they just swore vows of loyalty to me. watch your tongue. in fact. knights, hold her down i have something i need to whisper into her ears
September 27, 2025 at 8:11 PM
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September 27, 2025 at 8:03 PM
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It just doesn't make sense. Something is wrong here. No matter how maturely I dress, how responsible I try and be, how domineering I am to other girls, my stat screen. It keeps...

*Opens up the menu. Points agitatedly at "Middle Sister"*

YOU SEE?! WHO IS-?!

*looking around in wild suspicion*
September 26, 2025 at 12:11 PM
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unmasked scooby-doo villain: AND I'VE WOULD'VE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO!! IF IT WEREN'T FOR MY OWN LACK OF FORESIGHT AND PLANNING FOR VARIOUS CONTINGENCIES!

fred: wow

unmasked scooby-doo villain: what?

fred: nothing, we've just never had someone take accountability like that
September 16, 2025 at 5:34 PM
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anyone who doesn't get migraines is my enemy
September 27, 2025 at 1:26 PM
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"i dont remember posting any of this" no that was the good twin
July 28, 2025 at 10:13 PM
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(Misremembering the idiom) There's always a bigger sister
July 5, 2025 at 11:24 PM
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kitten she won't sugarcoat it mommy is about to start hurting people
June 14, 2025 at 1:25 AM
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SUGGESTION - Brother, you should put me in front of a firing squad. I have no words for how I failed you.
June 9, 2025 at 7:08 AM
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KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant leans in confidentially. “You wouldn't be able to hear if he were wearing anal beads,” he whispers.
June 10, 2025 at 9:15 AM
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Behold the agent of enquiry, inspector extraordinaire! 🕵️

Here's a preview of both Hildibrand and a most gentlemanly Zombie Token as they will appear in Magic: The Gathering—Final Fantasy! sqex.link/MtGFF

#MTGxFINALFANTASY
May 8, 2025 at 7:04 PM
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you, private! bite that other girl. hard. i don't care that you're straight
March 8, 2025 at 3:37 AM
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[dragging a corpse into your apartment] my master i found one of the other magus participants of the grail war so i killed them and brought them back to demonstrate proper hunting form since you seem woefully unprepared to survive on your own without me
April 9, 2025 at 11:16 PM
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oh healing powers? okay freak. no no no i see you, im not judging you, your just a lil pervert is all. what do you need those for? huh?? ohhhh gonna heal your friends after a long fight. sure thing buddy. suuuuuuuuuuuure thing. alright get out of my sight.
April 10, 2025 at 3:28 AM
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the spotter/gunner dynamic should be like a blind goddess of destruction gently guided by the voice of a saint
November 26, 2024 at 6:30 PM
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it's an ancient joke at this point but "space [insert earth thing here]" will probably always get at least a smile out of me
March 27, 2025 at 6:39 PM
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Just caught a bee in my house and put it outside and only screamed once or maybe more than once. I am god’s strongest bravest soldier
March 23, 2025 at 11:47 PM
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oh, um, wow. i didn't really think you'd cut open that guy's chest and eat his heart raw. yeah i was making all of that shit about it giving you demonic power up. haha. um. are you. busy later tonight
January 10, 2025 at 1:56 AM
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fun fact: maids are equipped with a service weapon in case laundry goes wrong
March 8, 2025 at 11:39 PM
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(looking at a human couple) which one of you is the potentially devastating magic weapon given sentience and which one of you is the handler assigned from the royal society of mages who can recite the incantations that release their partner's power limiters
March 3, 2025 at 10:12 PM
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on my hands and knees begging for them to just let me hunt monsters
February 28, 2025 at 4:27 PM
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Excusing Yourself xkcd.com/3057
February 28, 2025 at 5:00 PM
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massive propaganda victory for the demon princess today. she's finally cool
February 28, 2025 at 6:06 PM
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heres the deal with monster hunter: the core gameplay loop is so good that exposure to it unalloyed would just allow anyone to escape samsara so Big Wheel has put its thumb on the scales and made capcom fill the game with worldly evils. at least. i assume. why else would they do those awful things
February 7, 2025 at 3:31 AM
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Writing is an incredible act of hope. Every word creates a future in which it might be read.
February 3, 2025 at 9:07 PM