HR Dept., SGMR Industries, Inc.
@sgmrhr.bsky.social
We are a global mega corporation with our tentacles in every industry. Want to work for us? You probably already do.
Per our president and CEO:
Our current pivot to AI is unsustainable. Thanks for the money, though.
Our current pivot to AI is unsustainable. Thanks for the money, though.
November 24, 2025 at 7:18 PM
Per our president and CEO:
Our current pivot to AI is unsustainable. Thanks for the money, though.
Our current pivot to AI is unsustainable. Thanks for the money, though.
Per our president and CEO:
My previous post resulted in $30 billion in VC capital being dropped in my lap. We will begin building data centers immediately.
My previous post resulted in $30 billion in VC capital being dropped in my lap. We will begin building data centers immediately.
November 24, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Per our president and CEO:
My previous post resulted in $30 billion in VC capital being dropped in my lap. We will begin building data centers immediately.
My previous post resulted in $30 billion in VC capital being dropped in my lap. We will begin building data centers immediately.
Per our president and CEO:
We are pivoting to become a total immersive AI company.
We are pivoting to become a total immersive AI company.
November 24, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Per our president and CEO:
We are pivoting to become a total immersive AI company.
We are pivoting to become a total immersive AI company.
Anyone not raptured tomorrow will be required to cover the shifts of those that are.
September 22, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Anyone not raptured tomorrow will be required to cover the shifts of those that are.
A word from our President and CEO (who is probably already drunk in Oudbita):
Artificial Intelligence is always right. It's reality that's wrong. Also, we're putting all of our employees' 401-ks into AI (and Vegas slots).
Artificial Intelligence is always right. It's reality that's wrong. Also, we're putting all of our employees' 401-ks into AI (and Vegas slots).
At first I thought GPT 5 had got this right then I saw things like "Tonnessee," "Mississipo" and my personal favourite "West Wigina." Please do not respond just saying the different typos to me we can all read the joke, we all know about "Distrricke"
August 8, 2025 at 2:22 PM
A word from our President and CEO (who is probably already drunk in Oudbita):
Artificial Intelligence is always right. It's reality that's wrong. Also, we're putting all of our employees' 401-ks into AI (and Vegas slots).
Artificial Intelligence is always right. It's reality that's wrong. Also, we're putting all of our employees' 401-ks into AI (and Vegas slots).
Dear employees,
That was not our CEO caught on camera with the CFO at a Coldplay concert over the weekend.
It was actually the Donny Osmond concert.
That was not our CEO caught on camera with the CFO at a Coldplay concert over the weekend.
It was actually the Donny Osmond concert.
July 20, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Dear employees,
That was not our CEO caught on camera with the CFO at a Coldplay concert over the weekend.
It was actually the Donny Osmond concert.
That was not our CEO caught on camera with the CFO at a Coldplay concert over the weekend.
It was actually the Donny Osmond concert.
While our President and CEO is getting married in a tropical paradise, he would like to invite every employee...to watch the ceremony from their workstations while they work. Also, all employees will be taking a 10% pay cut because this wedding costs a lot of money.
June 26, 2025 at 2:23 PM
While our President and CEO is getting married in a tropical paradise, he would like to invite every employee...to watch the ceremony from their workstations while they work. Also, all employees will be taking a 10% pay cut because this wedding costs a lot of money.
Nobody cares how drunk you got at your Memorial Day barbecue, Frank. Get back to work.
May 27, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Nobody cares how drunk you got at your Memorial Day barbecue, Frank. Get back to work.
If we can make record profits with this many people, imagine how much bigger the profits will be when we get rid of a bunch of these people.
Anyone else get chills when their corporate job announces "record performance" or "the best quarter yet"?
May 22, 2025 at 3:20 PM
If we can make record profits with this many people, imagine how much bigger the profits will be when we get rid of a bunch of these people.
Happy Administrative Professionals Day. You will be permitted five extra minutes for lunch (which will be made up at the end of the day) as our way of showing our appreciation to you.
April 23, 2025 at 4:58 PM
Happy Administrative Professionals Day. You will be permitted five extra minutes for lunch (which will be made up at the end of the day) as our way of showing our appreciation to you.
Please don't microwave fish in the lunchroom.
March 10, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Please don't microwave fish in the lunchroom.
Don't forget to tell us fifteen things you did last week, each in the form of a haiku that incorporates your social media passwords for an added challenge.
March 9, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Don't forget to tell us fifteen things you did last week, each in the form of a haiku that incorporates your social media passwords for an added challenge.
Good morning and Happy Monday, innies!
Ok, I know Severance isn't real, but wouldn't it be great if it was. Think about it. Ooh, the possibilities.
Ok, I know Severance isn't real, but wouldn't it be great if it was. Think about it. Ooh, the possibilities.
March 3, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Good morning and Happy Monday, innies!
Ok, I know Severance isn't real, but wouldn't it be great if it was. Think about it. Ooh, the possibilities.
Ok, I know Severance isn't real, but wouldn't it be great if it was. Think about it. Ooh, the possibilities.
TGIF! Remember, you're working a full day tomorrow and Sunday. Since it's the weekend, you can take an extra fifteen minutes for lunch and stay a half hour longer.
February 28, 2025 at 9:13 PM
TGIF! Remember, you're working a full day tomorrow and Sunday. Since it's the weekend, you can take an extra fifteen minutes for lunch and stay a half hour longer.
During the late-winter and early-spring, we are laying off building security and outsourcing it to the Canada geese that hang around. Be careful, they're indiscriminate.
February 26, 2025 at 3:44 PM
During the late-winter and early-spring, we are laying off building security and outsourcing it to the Canada geese that hang around. Be careful, they're indiscriminate.
Our President & CEO would like you to know that he too has had to tighten his belt during these tough economic times. He had to fire one of his three cabana boys at his winter home in Cabo.
February 26, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Our President & CEO would like you to know that he too has had to tighten his belt during these tough economic times. He had to fire one of his three cabana boys at his winter home in Cabo.
This round of layoffs will prove fruitful since it will allow us to free up the funding to bring in a corporate efficiency expert who will tell us how best to save money going forward. He's very expensive.
February 26, 2025 at 3:26 PM
This round of layoffs will prove fruitful since it will allow us to free up the funding to bring in a corporate efficiency expert who will tell us how best to save money going forward. He's very expensive.
SGMR Industries, Inc. only hires the finest people. That's why you're seeing this. You're not one of them. Clean out your desk and leave within fifteen minutes.
--HR Dept. SGMR Industries, Inc.
--HR Dept. SGMR Industries, Inc.
February 26, 2025 at 2:38 PM
SGMR Industries, Inc. only hires the finest people. That's why you're seeing this. You're not one of them. Clean out your desk and leave within fifteen minutes.
--HR Dept. SGMR Industries, Inc.
--HR Dept. SGMR Industries, Inc.