it's crazy that i wake up every day and think "i can't possibly have anything else to say on twitter" and then the US Department of Defense will be like "Our Secretary of Defense has great jeans ☺️"

San Francisco police arrested a man suspected of arson after allegedly finding him igniting objects at a park.

So far no one is discussing the massive economic benefits Trump has destroyed by firing so many people. Every federal dollar spent on salaries is multiplied several times in the economy in terms of production (and personal spending).

saw a dog alone going down geary in a waymo car, that is the most fucked up thing i have seen in a minute. big great pyrenees dog, alone in the back seat of a driverless car zipping down the road

Jell-o Pudding Pops (1982-1993): A frozen pudding treat on a stick, these treats were a hit in their day, available in chocolate, vanilla, and chocolate-vanilla. In 2004, the *name* was licensed to Popsicle (hence why you can still find a food with this name), but not the formula

You morons, you can't repeat the Gilded Age. That's not how history works--it only goes in one direction. Now let me take a big sip of coffee and make sure no nihilistic young Italians have built homemade weapons with which to assassinate robber barons.

Ever wondered why walking around museums is weirdly tiring? At normal speed our legs act like pendulums, swinging forward from the hip & saving us a huge amount of energy. In "museum shuffle" our muscles must do ALL the work of constant readjustment. So cake in the cafe is scientifically justified 🥳