Seth’s Pencil
@sethmeyerspencil.bsky.social
Just a pencil writing jokes about national realities ✏️
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When Truth Becomes Treason.
First Colbert.
Now Kimmel.
Criticize power → get fired.
That’s not democracy.
It’s fascism.
Read the entire truth here 👇
First Colbert.
Now Kimmel.
Criticize power → get fired.
That’s not democracy.
It’s fascism.
Read the entire truth here 👇
When Truth Becomes Treason
First Colbert, now Kimmel — when criticizing power gets you fired, that’s not democracy. It’s fascism.
open.substack.com
September 18, 2025 at 2:31 AM
When Truth Becomes Treason.
First Colbert.
Now Kimmel.
Criticize power → get fired.
That’s not democracy.
It’s fascism.
Read the entire truth here 👇
First Colbert.
Now Kimmel.
Criticize power → get fired.
That’s not democracy.
It’s fascism.
Read the entire truth here 👇
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Goodnight 🌙
Fuck ABC
Fuck ABC
September 18, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Goodnight 🌙
Fuck ABC
Fuck ABC
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In response to all your prayers, I can report that Donald is not long for this world, what with the swollen cankles and bruised hands and sausage fingers and such. Please bear with the Reaper. They haven’t failed at this yet.
August 24, 2025 at 10:06 PM
In response to all your prayers, I can report that Donald is not long for this world, what with the swollen cankles and bruised hands and sausage fingers and such. Please bear with the Reaper. They haven’t failed at this yet.
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HEY DONOLD — YOU’RE NOT GETTING INTO HEAVEN SO STOP ASKING! WE DON’T LET PEDOS IN! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! - GOD
August 24, 2025 at 10:09 PM
HEY DONOLD — YOU’RE NOT GETTING INTO HEAVEN SO STOP ASKING! WE DON’T LET PEDOS IN! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! - GOD
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Reposted by Seth’s Pencil
This is what happens when everyone knows gramps shouldn't be driving but no one wants to take away his keys.
April 8, 2025 at 10:37 PM
This is what happens when everyone knows gramps shouldn't be driving but no one wants to take away his keys.
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Hey NBC and Seth Meyers, y’all need to book the largest possible venue in D.C. on April 26th and do a competing fundraiser and comedy show that actually celebrates the First Amendment. Televise it. Make Amber Ruffin the central act. Send a message that free speech is non-negotiable.
March 30, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Hey NBC and Seth Meyers, y’all need to book the largest possible venue in D.C. on April 26th and do a competing fundraiser and comedy show that actually celebrates the First Amendment. Televise it. Make Amber Ruffin the central act. Send a message that free speech is non-negotiable.
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All I’m saying is, Sleepy Joe kept you sleeping *peacefully* when it came to your 401k 🤷🏾♂️
March 3, 2025 at 9:12 PM
All I’m saying is, Sleepy Joe kept you sleeping *peacefully* when it came to your 401k 🤷🏾♂️
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I’m not ok & that’s ok. It’s not remotely close to being “normal” times, it’s pure chaos in the USA now. It’s ok if you’re not ok, it means that u care 4 others & hate seeing our Constitution & Democracy under threat. It’s ok because we stand against fascism & tyranny. What’s NOT ok is giving up! ❤️
January 24, 2025 at 2:20 AM
I’m not ok & that’s ok. It’s not remotely close to being “normal” times, it’s pure chaos in the USA now. It’s ok if you’re not ok, it means that u care 4 others & hate seeing our Constitution & Democracy under threat. It’s ok because we stand against fascism & tyranny. What’s NOT ok is giving up! ❤️
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It's only classified as terrorism when you punch up.
December 19, 2024 at 1:23 AM
It's only classified as terrorism when you punch up.
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Posting this by lunch
December 19, 2024 at 12:47 AM
Posting this by lunch
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Reposted by Seth’s Pencil
I don’t argue with people who would’ve gotten zero personal pan pizzas in the summer reading program
December 17, 2024 at 3:02 PM
I don’t argue with people who would’ve gotten zero personal pan pizzas in the summer reading program
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"One of the great tragedies of mankind is that morality has been hijacked by religion. So now people assume that religion and morality have a necessary connection. But the basis of morality is really very simple and doesn't require religion at all."
Arthur C. Clarke
Arthur C. Clarke
December 17, 2024 at 11:55 AM
"One of the great tragedies of mankind is that morality has been hijacked by religion. So now people assume that religion and morality have a necessary connection. But the basis of morality is really very simple and doesn't require religion at all."
Arthur C. Clarke
Arthur C. Clarke
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Shout-out to everyone keeping me out of schools. I don't want to be there either.
December 14, 2024 at 10:18 PM
Shout-out to everyone keeping me out of schools. I don't want to be there either.
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Fyi: Old is most definitely a mindset doesn’t have shit to do with age!
December 15, 2024 at 3:50 AM
Fyi: Old is most definitely a mindset doesn’t have shit to do with age!
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Universal healthcare isn’t just a pipe dream folks. Early human societies thrived by sharing resources and caring for the sick to ensure collective survival. It’s already in your code!
December 12, 2024 at 11:40 PM
Universal healthcare isn’t just a pipe dream folks. Early human societies thrived by sharing resources and caring for the sick to ensure collective survival. It’s already in your code!
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Yale
Asian American: from 30% to 24%
Black: Remained steady at 14%
Princeton
Asian American: from 26% to 23.8%
Black: Decreased from 9% to 8.9%
Duke
Asian American: from 35% to 29%
Black: Increased from 12% to 13%
source: www.nytimes.com/2024/09/17/u...
#AddToBlackSky
Asian American: from 30% to 24%
Black: Remained steady at 14%
Princeton
Asian American: from 26% to 23.8%
Black: Decreased from 9% to 8.9%
Duke
Asian American: from 35% to 29%
Black: Increased from 12% to 13%
source: www.nytimes.com/2024/09/17/u...
#AddToBlackSky
Yale, Princeton and Duke Are Questioned Over Decline in Asian Students
The legal group that won a Supreme Court case that ended race-based college admissions suggested it might sue schools where the percentage of Asian students fell.
www.nytimes.com
November 29, 2024 at 5:14 PM
Yale
Asian American: from 30% to 24%
Black: Remained steady at 14%
Princeton
Asian American: from 26% to 23.8%
Black: Decreased from 9% to 8.9%
Duke
Asian American: from 35% to 29%
Black: Increased from 12% to 13%
source: www.nytimes.com/2024/09/17/u...
#AddToBlackSky
Asian American: from 30% to 24%
Black: Remained steady at 14%
Princeton
Asian American: from 26% to 23.8%
Black: Decreased from 9% to 8.9%
Duke
Asian American: from 35% to 29%
Black: Increased from 12% to 13%
source: www.nytimes.com/2024/09/17/u...
#AddToBlackSky
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President Biden‘s official statement on pardoning his son youtu.be/wzaFjVsWdcs?...
President Biden pardoning his son (parody)
YouTube video by 2RawTooReal Entertainment
youtu.be
December 3, 2024 at 2:41 AM
President Biden‘s official statement on pardoning his son youtu.be/wzaFjVsWdcs?...
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Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he'll contribute to the global overdepletion of the ocean.
So give him a salad, maybe.
Teach a man to fish, he'll contribute to the global overdepletion of the ocean.
So give him a salad, maybe.
December 1, 2024 at 11:56 PM
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he'll contribute to the global overdepletion of the ocean.
So give him a salad, maybe.
Teach a man to fish, he'll contribute to the global overdepletion of the ocean.
So give him a salad, maybe.
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I gotta lay down soon so I don't sleep through Thanksgiving
November 28, 2024 at 1:21 PM
I gotta lay down soon so I don't sleep through Thanksgiving