Hugs

Like this has always been the case but having a gf now has thrown this into view hard.

Like how do i know she likes me still maybe i fucked everything up and didnt realize and she'll dump me like the sad sack i am.

Which is not a healthy train of thought.

Anyway i need therapy lol

Just looking at these photos and watching the light of that early transition, just out of the cult optimism give way under just shit circumstances and mental health problems.

Idk i feel like i failed that dumb happy fag somewhere.

Was i happier as [redacted] than i am as ashlee.

I wish i could be neither of these people but someone in between

Obviously I'm not going to but part of me seems to always quietly want to.

I dont like that part.

This is not necessarily directed at anyone more just generally