Sean Bell
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seancmbell.bsky.social
Sean Bell
@seancmbell.bsky.social
460 followers 950 following 440 posts
Writer. Broke. Bylines: The Intercept, Heckle, Bella Caledonia, The National, The Herald, Source, Jacobin, openDemocracy. Scotland's leading expert on Elvis Presley-related sandwiches.
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seancmbell.bsky.social
"My God - Jimmy Hoffa!"
Headline: 'Conservationists lifted Mons Meg in the air - and we're delighted with what they found'
November 15, 2025 at 7:40 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Still from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Sirius Cybernetics Corporation marketing division: "A bunch of mindless perks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes."
November 13, 2025 at 8:10 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
All these problems go away if you just make a new Derek Flint movie instead
James Cockburn as Derek Flint
November 11, 2025 at 12:12 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Still from Young Frankenstein: "Do not use this brain! ABNORMAL"
November 8, 2025 at 6:49 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
VINDICATION
November 6, 2025 at 9:38 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Snoozing dog.
November 6, 2025 at 9:24 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
"A planned memorial to writer extraordinaire Muriel Spark will need to be good"
Why? Her books weren't.
Scotsman headline: "One thing is certain about planned Muriel Spark memorial in Edinburgh's Princes Street Gardens... A planned memorial to writer extraordinaire Muriel Spark will need to be good"
November 5, 2025 at 7:53 AM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Scene from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "That bitch is dead."
November 4, 2025 at 12:21 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
'The monarchy still represents the nation and what our history has made Britain'
Yes, that's kind of the problem, dipshit
Daily Telegraph headline: 'Robert Graves: The Crown has survived much worse than Andrew Republicans may sneer, but the monarchy still represents the nation and what our history has made Britain'
November 4, 2025 at 11:39 AM
seancmbell.bsky.social
But in all seriousness:
November 3, 2025 at 4:53 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Apropos of nothing:
Headline: 'Was Sen Huey Long killed by an assassin, or his own bodyguards?'
November 3, 2025 at 4:02 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
We've gone from 'millennials eat too much avocado toast' to 'Gen Z aren't eating enough whole roast poultry'
Scotsman headline: '500 years of Christmas tradition at risk as young people snub turkey for pizza and chips'
October 31, 2025 at 6:10 AM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Jesus, take the wheel
Quote from Will Sloan's review of Woody Allen's first novel: "“Thane” is an unusual name that reminded me of Thaddeus, which was the name of one Mia Farrow’s adopted children, who committed suicide in 2016 at age 27. Is that a stretch? Similar alarm bells went off in my head in Coup de Chance, where the villain was a scorned husband who obsessed over an electric train set—which can’t help calling to mind a memorably chilling detail from Dylan Farrow’s 2014 open letter. Sometimes Allen’s post-cancellation work is autofiction, and other times it’s more like a dream journal. If you know nothing else about What’s With Baum?, you should know that it contains the following sentence, which lodged in my head like a silver bullet: “‘Is it any wonder every woman falls in love with Thane?’ his beaming mama would say. ‘I could if the law allowed.’”
October 30, 2025 at 5:38 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
On the one hand, this is a terrible hot dog order; on the other, this is probably the closest our reality will get to Elwood Blues asking Aretha Franklin for some dry white toast
"Springsteen’s sandwich order sounds absolutely repulsive. I simply cannot ride with Bruce Springsteen on this one. But Springsteen wasn’t just talking. In a 2020 Facebook post, an establishment called Max’s Bar & Grill confirmed on Facebook that Springsteen’s hot dog order is “classic” and posted a picture of Springsteen sitting down to enjoy a dog with nothing on it. Not one condiment, not one topping. Unsettling. In any case, someone needs to update the IMDB Goofs page for Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere."
October 29, 2025 at 9:01 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Update: hearing further disturbing rumours about this 'Uncle Sam' character
Uncle Sam
October 28, 2025 at 8:25 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
ICYMI, my tribute to Assata Shakur for @heckle.scot
"Following the assassination of Charlie Kirk and Luigi Mangione’s alleged killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson last year, there has been much performative hand-wringing over the spectre of political violence; fear of being perceived as sympathetic to such violence or its motivations in any way has led many in the public sphere to debase themselves through grovelling mea culpas and sweaty tributes to the suddenly curtailed life of a white supremacist carnival barker. It has not, to put it mildly, been edifying." "Shakur lived free of this kind of cowardice, empowered by the understanding that the most prevalent and pervasive political violence in any society undergirded by capitalism, imperialism, racism and patriarchy is carried out by the state – a reality affirmed by the thuggish stormtroopers of ICE, the presence of troops on American streets, or the mere sight of a police uniform and all that it implies. Any and all who take issue with the revolutionary violence embraced by Shakur and her comrades must grapple with that."
October 27, 2025 at 2:48 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Especially considering the one they could have used
Kevin McKenna grovelling alongside Queen Elizabeth
October 27, 2025 at 2:12 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
"...In conclusion, New York is a land of contrasts."
Bart Simpson explaining Libya.
October 27, 2025 at 1:29 AM
seancmbell.bsky.social
"...and then the pope showed up."
John Belushi kissing the ring of Pope John Paul II as Dan Akroyd looks on during the pope's impromptu visit to the set of the Blues Brothers.
October 23, 2025 at 3:30 AM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Now, let's not all rush to blame Bret Stephens for this - it might be the editorial assistant who does all his work for him
Ad for an 'editorial assistant' for NYT columnists Bret Stephens and David French The assistant would need to "remain coverage on the news... suggest ideas for columns... conduct research for the columnists..." and presumably, chew their food for them
October 22, 2025 at 7:55 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
October 22, 2025 at 5:53 AM
seancmbell.bsky.social
"In 2016, amid the burgeoning Black Lives Matter movement, Brooks took the time sternly wag his finger at high school football players who took a knee during the national anthem; at the height of Occupy Wall Street, he dismissed its participants as “milquetoast radicals” with no credible ideas; and perhaps most memorably, in 2003, Brooks anticipated that the “American Bush haters” would “lose self-confidence and vitality” before finally backtracking in the face of the Iraq War’s inevitable triumph." "It should be obvious why Brooks, one of that criminal misadventure’s most prominent media boosters, disparaged an anti-war movement which threatened the project in which he had invested so much. But one of the peculiarities of the age of Trump is that the threat he poses to America itself has forced the kind of stalwart moderate and centrist pundits, who, as a rule, do not like, trust, or support protest movements, to grapple with their necessity — a task they tend to approach with a baffling and completely unearned confidence."
October 21, 2025 at 10:11 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
The Elric books by Michael Moorcock.
October 20, 2025 at 11:28 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
"Why? That doesn't make any sense. Sorry. There's no known way of saying an English sentence in which you begin a sentence with 'in' and emphasize it. Get me a jury and show me how you can say 'in Edinburgh' and I'll go down on you. That's just idiotic, if you'll forgive me my saying so."
Orson Welles
October 20, 2025 at 10:56 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Is it pasta? I bet it's pasta
Daily Telegraph headline: Owen Matthews This is what broken Britain can learn from Italy
October 20, 2025 at 5:56 PM